Episode 16: Un-American Graffiti
This one starts with Veronica running into Logan in the cafeteria at Hearst. He buys her a coffee and invites her to a birthday party he’s throwing for Parker. That kinda weirds her out, since she’s still getting used to the idea of Logan and Parker dating.
Later, a woman (Sabirah Krimani) comes into the office to ask for help. Someone spray-painted “terrorist” on her family’s restaurant (Babylon Gardens) and they’ve been getting harassed, so she wants to hire Keith to track down who’s doing it. Keith is too busy as acting sheriff right now, but Veronica knows Sabirah’s daughter Amira from school (and hates racists), so she says she’ll look into it herself. Meanwhile, at a bar near campus, the bar owner (Murphy) tells a drunk guy to get out and when he stumbles outside he’s hit by a car.
Veronica stakes out Babylon Gardens and runs into Amira, who isn’t her biggest fan. Amira’s kind of stuck up and thinks it’s funny that her mom hired Veronica to find out who’s harassing them. Keith goes to see Murphy and tells him the guy who got run over was only 19. Murphy says he saw the kid’s ID, but Keith points out the ID was obviously fake, since the physical description didn’t match at all. At the restaurant, Amira’s dad (Rashad) comes out to tell Veronica to leave. He insists they don’t need help (especially from a girl), but Sabirah says he’s running himself ragged trying to deal with this on his own. As they’re talking, a bunch of assholes in a pickup truck come by, shooting everything (and everyone) with paintballs.
Rashad gets pissed off, since his family has been in America (and naturalized citizens) for twenty years. Veronica noticed a bumper sticker on the truck that might help her find the assholes, so Rashad tells her to go ahead. At home, Keith tells Veronica about the kid who got run over and she confirms that most campus-area bars are pretty lax about checking IDs. The next day, Keith tells his officers they’ll be doing surprise inspections to scare the bar owners into following the law. One deputy (Gills) doesn’t take the whole thing too seriously, but Keith reminds him that a 19-year old will never walk again because he was drinking at Murphy’s bar.
Veronica goes to Neptune Middle School for a fake talk to the honor students (since the truck’s bumper sticker was bragging about their kid being an honor student). She finds the right kid, but is surprised to see he’s Middle Eastern. She follows him home, finding his older brother and some friends playing video games in the garage. She also finds the incriminating paintball guns and after using one to shoot up the dimwitted teens, gets a half-assed explanation: they weren’t targeting the Krimanis, they were out paintballing people of all colours and races … and they didn’t spray-paint. They have proof of their drive-bys on DVD, which Veronica takes. She makes them go to Babylon Gardens to wash off the paint from their paintball guns and sets up some cameras in case the real haters return. She also convinces Sabirah to hang up a new religious banner, since the last one was stolen.
At the hotel, Logan is getting no help from Dick planning Parker’s party. Dick has connected with two different girls online and is inviting both of them to the party; if only one shows, cool. If both show, he’ll pick whichever one gets him hotter. It’s win-win. Yeah, I’m sure nothing will go wrong with that plan. At the police station, Gills tells Keith there were no fake IDs in any of the bars they checked, which Keith finds a little convenient. Veronica checks the video from the restaurant and sees a dude skulking around, wearing a shirt that says “Sneed Batmen” on it. She asks Mac about it, but she’s kinda out of it after a morning hike with Bronson. Logan and Parker show up and re-invite Veronica to the party. After some banter between Logan and Mac, Mac tells Veronica Logan’s not such a bad guy after all. Veronica says she’ll come to the party, but wants Mac to come with her for moral support. Mac’s going early to help set up, so Veronica invites Wallace and Piz to come with her instead.
Piz is excited and Wallace knows he still has a thing for Veronica, so he tells him he has to stop being like one of those guys in Vegas who stands behind the poker players and pretends to be in the game … sometimes you just gotta go all in. Veronica sees a guy wearing a “Sneed Batmen” shirt and finds out it’s for a campus softball team. She figures out the guy in the restaurant video is named Jason Cullen … and he’s Jewish. When she goes by his frat house, she sees someone in a tree taking photos, so she takes a couple pix of him. When someone inside the frat house gets wise, the shutterbug takes off, but when the door opens Veronica gets a shock … Jason is with Amira Krimani, and it doesn’t look like they were playing checkers.
Amira admits Jason is her boyfriend (her Jewish boyfriend, which is why she hasn’t told her parents) and that’s why he was sneaking around outside the restaurant. She realizes Nasir (an Iraqi guy who her parents hired after his student visa ran out) must have taken the photos of her and Jason to show to her dad. Nasir is pissed off because Amira was supposed to marry him and didn’t want to. Veronica knows there are only a couple one-hour photo places open this late, so she goes to look for Nasir. She finds him waiting at a drugstore and pretends to be his girlfriend so the clerk will hand over the photos. Nasir is pissed off, but the clerk gives him some half-developed photos he had left over because the machine jammed.
At Murphy’s bar, Piz and Wallace scope out some babes and Piz ends up playing pool with a real hottie. Veronica goes to Amira’s dorm to give her the photos, but Amira’s dad shows up with one of the half-developed pix that Nasir got. Rashad figures it’s other Muslims who are targeting his restaurant because Amira’s dating a Jewish dude. He tries to fire Veronica, but she says she works for Sabirah, not him. At the bar, Murphy tries to bribe Keith, but he’s not interested, even after Murphy points out how friendly he is with some of the deputies. As Keith is leaving, he sees Wallace and Piz and when he checks their IDs, the craftsmanship looks very familiar.
The next morning, Keith gives Veronica shit for providing fake IDs to her friends. She gets a call from Sabirah, who tells her the vandals struck again. Sabirah doesn’t recognize the guy on the video, but Veronica stitched a tracer inside the Islamic banner she convinced Sabirah to hang up, which was stolen again. Veronica tracks the banner and finds it in a garbage can in an alley. She spots the guy from the video (Derrick), who isn’t at all apologetic about being a racist dick. Turns out his brother is in a wheelchair after fighting in Iraq, but even the brother thinks Derrick’s hatred of Muslims is stupid. Derrick shows Veronica a flyer with a cartoon of some Iraqis making fun of dead American soldiers and says Nasir was passing them out downtown.
Veronica tells Rashad and Sabirah about Derrick and his brother, and shows them the flyer Nasir was handing out. She mentions that Derrick’s on probation, so if they press charges, he’ll definitely do time. Rashad says he wants to meet Derrick. Keith goes by the dorm to see Wallace and Piz, giving them new fake IDs and asking them to come to a local bar. These IDs aren’t quite as kick-ass as the ones Veronica made: Piz’s card has a photo of Jon Bon Jovi on it, and Wallace’s has Biggie Smalls. Keith has them go to a bar where Deputy Gills is doing an ID check and sure enough, their terrible IDs pass the test, proving to Keith that Gills has been ignoring his orders all along. The next morning, Keith fires Gills (and three other slackers); Gills seems to think the rest of the department will quit in solidarity with him, but that doesn’t happen.
Veronica takes Rashad and Sabirah to meet Derrick and Rashad gives him a speech about American values and honoring what his brother fought for. But Derrick’s dickishness is too ingrained, so he doesn’t change his mind … which is probably realistic, if rather depressing. Rashad decides not to press charges and even tells Sabirah he’s willing to meet their daughter Jewish boyfriend. Rashad also decides to turn Nasir in to the INS, since (as a proud American) Rashad didn’t like Nasir’s un-American cartoon. Veronica goes to the party that night (although Wallace and Piz ditch her to go with Miranda, the hot girl from the bar) and when she runs into Dick, she’s so depressed she takes a swig from his booze flask. She and Mac sit on the couch like professional wallflowers, but Veronica gives up her place to Max, the test-selling prostitute-lover.
When Veronica meets Miranda, she understands why Wallace and Piz ditched her. Dick’s dates both show up and are both equally hot, so he’s not sure what to do. They quickly find out about each other, but don’t seem too bothered and Dick figures he might’ve hit the jackpot. Veronica’s still freaked out seeing Logan and Parker together, but tries to cover it up. Logan says he was steeling himself for seeing Veronica show up with some other dude, but she says she couldn’t find anyone that interested her. Max and Mac seem to be getting along really well, even though mac has a boyfriend (who’s out of town at the moment). Dick’s two hotties lock him in the bathroom and tell him next time he wants to scam girls online, he should check the Friends list to make sure they don’t know each other. As they leave, they make out a bit, just to twist the knife.
Miranda’s really into Piz, but Veronica grabs him and says she needs him to pretend to be her boyfriend to get rid of some loser who’s interested in her. Of course, Piz goes along but Wallace tells Veronica she shouldn’t lead Piz on like that, since he has a thing for her. Apparently, she was oblivious to it, so she tries to apologize to Piz, saying all the recent drama has made her stupid. Piz goes all in and kisses her, then says they can just be friends and takes off. She catches him in the hall and returns the kiss … which of course is when the elevator opens and Logan sees them locking lips.