Episode 16: School’s Out
This one starts in Bo’s room, with Kenzi coming in for a chat. Bo is obviously anxious about something and we soon see she’s hiding someone in the bathtub. Kenzi’s going on about how she’s glad Bo dumped Lambert after how he screwed with Kenzi’s boyfriend, Nate. Bo agrees and manages to shoo Kenzi back to the kitchen. As soon as she’s gone, Lambert pops up from the tub. Bo feels guilty about lying to Kenzi, but Lambert doesn’t seem to
care too much. We jump to a high school classroom, where the teacher calls a student named Beverly (played by Samantha Munro aka Anya in Degrassi Next Gen) up to read some essay she wrote equating Romeo and Juliet with the Cold War. By the looks of it, all the others are thinking “Nerd!”, and that impression grows as Beverly gets really into her presentation. She gets so into it, she keels over, which freaks everyone out.
We see Beverly’s father at the police station telling Dyson he thinks some drug dealer must’ve slipped Beverly something. Dyson is kind of humouring him, but when the guy describes Beverly’s condition—heightened mental activity followed by complete neural 
shutdown, but not like anything the doctors have ever seen—Dyson starts thinking it might be Fae related and tells the dad he’ll check it out. At home, Lauren returns Bo’s car. She and Nadia are back from their trip, which was apparently quite the fuck fest. Bo refrains from mentioning her own prolific poontang of late, but before things can get too awkward, Dyson shows up. He asks Bo to help with Beverly’s case and she’s happy to, until she finds out she has to go undercover as an English teacher. (Bo:”I can’t do Jane Austen again.”; Dyson: “That’s what I said when I lived in England.”) Dyson will
apparently be joining her undercover, which I’m sure will moisten the panties of most of the girls at the school. Lauren offers to help by analyzing Beverly’s file; I’m not sure if she’s trying to get away from Nadia, or just wants to contribute … maybe both. Bo and Dyson realize they need someone who can talk to teenagers in their own language, and that’s when Kenzi strolls in saying, “Hola, beeyotches!”
On their first day of school, Kenzi is sure she’ll have the kids eating out of her hand in no time, but Bo is nervous as shit. She hated high school the 
first time around, so isn’t looking forward to going back. When she starts class, she definitely gets the attention of all the guys in class (and at least one girl), but is so nervous she writes “Ryan” instead of “Romeo” on the chalkboard; that’s very Freudian. She decides to say to hell with Shakespeare and teach what she knows: Werewolves, Fact or Fiction? The kids seem into it. In the Guidance office, Dyson is listening to some kid go on about his girlfriend. (Dyson as Guidance counselor, seriously? Yeah, what could go wrong?) Dyson asks about drugs, and his approach is only slightly more subtle than Peter Griffin’s; how the hell did he get to be a cop in the first place? The kid
doesn’t know anything about drugs at the school and Dyson tells him he should be out banging around instead of tied to one girl. And Kenzi’s having fun too, as she runs into the “Mean Girls” clique (none of whom gets her “Heathers” reference) and finds she can’t charm them with her usual sass. After the queen bitch pours coffee on Kenzi’s kick-ass boots, she gets ready to throw down.
In the Vice-Principal’s office, he tells Bo she has to follow the curriculum instead of just teaching whatever the hell she wants. She tries to subtly interrogate him about drugs, but he says she’s just a sub and should keep her mind on teaching for the few days she’s going to be there. The Girls 
PE teacher (or “Coach Bitchy-Butch” as Kenzi calls her) hauls Kenzi into the office. Outside, Bo, Kenzi, and Dyson compare notes and realize they’re getting nowhere fast. (Kenzi: “Teen angst … our greatest foe.”) At he Dal, they wonder what kind of Fae could cause Beverly’s condition, or if it’s even Fae-related at all. Lauren comes by and says Beverly was definitely infected by some kind of Fae but she has no idea what. She also says the Ash told her that the only Fae at the school are a couple of Akvans—Fae that mature slower than others, so they’re kind of stupid. They all decide to try again, though Kenzi says she can’t hang with the in crowd. We see her playing chess—badly—with nerdy dude Earl. (Earl: “Bishops can’t move like
that.”; Kenzi:”Cause of their religion?”) She asks him if he thinks Beverly was high, but he says it was probably just pressure. High marks and scholarships and all that stuff takes its toll. Kenzi wonders if the cheerleaders might be doping to get athletic scholarships, but Earl gets a call from his dad before he can answer. After he leaves, one of the cheerleaders has a freak-out about the geometry of the cheerleader pyramid and collapses.
Lauren shows up at the school and tells Bo that whatever infected Beverly had traces of embryonic tissue in it, so maybe they should be looking for a 
nest or something. Things get awkward between them, as Lauren says she still hasn’t told Nadia about her and Bo, and Bo doesn’t mention Lambert. Kenzi interrupts to tell them about the latest cheerleader freak-out and her suspicions about the squad doping. Lauren says she’ll check all the student files just in case, and Bo resolves to talk to the coach. At Lauren’s place, Nadia is waiting for her, wondering where she was. Lauren mentions Bo and Nadia seems a bit jealous. I’m not sure if Nadia knows about the whole “Fae” thing at this point; nobody’s ever really mentioned it in front of her, so maybe she has
no idea who Lauren really works for. Nadia’s feeling frisky and Lauren tries to put her off by telling her to get back into photography. So Nadia starts taking pictures of Lauren, and even manages to get a bra shot, but when it’s time for some heavier action, Lauren puts her off again. Nadia gets kind of pouty about it … I thought only guys did that, but I guess it’s universal.
At the school, we see the girls’ coach pumping iron, which seems like a bit of a stereotype. Bo asks her if she’s doping the girls and Coach actually slaps Bo around a bit. I always thought Fae were naturally stronger than humans, so whatever the coach is taking, it turned her into a powerhouse. 
But muscle can’t help against succubus mojo, and once Bo drains her a bit, the coach spills that she’s been giving the girls small amounts of steroids and diuretics. Bo tells her to stop and Coach tells Bo she loves her. I’m not sure if that means she’s gay, but that would round out the stereotype quite well. Elsewhere, we see someone putting on a big glove and taking some kind of egg out of a cage. A freaky-looking bird pecks at the gloved hand.
Earl’s dad drops him off and he tells him how he’s in love with a new girl. Earl and Kenzi play chess again and he brags about how him and a couple of friends made the “Reach For The Top” team a while back. (Yeah, this show’s definitely set in Canada.) He gives Kenzi a smooch from nowhere
and she freaks out and leaves. She later describes it to Bo as brief, but slobbery, like kissing a puppy with the flu. She mentions Earl’s sudden quiz bowl fame and Bo wonders if the Vice-Principal has been doing something to the students, as the first two victims were babbling intellectual crap when they keeled over. Lambert shows up and Bo almost, kinda, sorta tries to break up with him … but doesn’t. He leaves just as Dyson comes by. Dyson recognizes Lambert and wonders why he’s hanging around. He doesn’t look too happy when Bo tells him it’s “personal”. Later, in the Guidance office, Dyson talks to a girl who’s 
crying and devouring those little pink and green marshmallows. She says she and Earl used to be close, but he’s changed lately, and now she hears he’s been smooching other girls. Earl must be an idiot, cause that girl is damn cute. She’s worried that Earl was her soulmate and she’ll never find anyone else—something Dyson can relate to. He tells her she’s young and beautiful and can find someone else, but has to shut her down quick when she seems to set her sights on him.
Bo asks the Vice-Principal about the quiz team, but he gets defensive when she probes too deeply. He says the kids have worked hard and they need the win to get scholarships. At home, Kenzi seems to have caught the intellectual bug, as she’s spouting a bunch of crap about Euclidean geometry. Bo takes her to Lauren’s place and Lauren says she’s made
some progress on the infections … at least, until Kenzi wipes out her data. But Kenzi’s newfound smarts come in handy as she gives Lauren the key. Lauren figures someone might have given one of the Akvans something to make them smarter and that’s what’s been messing with the humans. She says it was probably transmitted orally, so Bo heads back to check things out.
Bo still thinks the Vice-Principal is behind everything, since his academic team is reaping the benefits, but Dyson says he’s not Fae so someone must be helping him. Bo realizes the oral transmission Lauren mentioned must have been when Earl kissed Kenzi. Dyson talks to Earl and finds out 
he kissed the first two girls as well. He figures out that Earl’s dad has been making his lunches for the last few months and sniffs out some weird eggs. Earl says his dad is meeting with the Vice-Principal about a scholarship, so Dyson drags him toward the office. Bo is already there, but finds the place empty. So, naturally, she decides to snoop a bit. When the Vice-Principal walks in, she confronts him about Earl and the other quiz team students, but he has no idea what she’s talking about. Earl’s dad comes in with a hammer and tells the Vice-Principal to get lost.
Earl’s dad admits he and the other quiz team dads (all Akvans, I guess) got tired of their kids being “slow” so they gave them something to make them smarter. He doesn’t give a damn about the infected humans and tries to smash Bo with hammer, but she takes him down (which makes the girls’ coach look even more badass). Dyson and Earl come in and Earl
gives his dad shit for making him smarter without telling him. Earl wonders if his dad didn’t love him before he was smart, but his dad says he always loved him and they hug it out. At the Dal, Trick tells Bo the bird Earl’s dad was using is called a Simurgh, which once granted super-intelligence (through its eggs) to a kid who rescued it; but Simurgh eggs are prohibited as “study aids”, so the Akvans will be punished. It doesn’t sound like they’ll be in too much shit and Trick seems sympathetic, saying raising kids is a pain in the ass. Kenzi and the other two girls are back to normal (Lauren having found a cure once she knew the source) and Earl is back to being a dumb-ass, trying to play chess with Kenzi. At the school, Lambert recreates (or maybe just creates) the prom 
that Bo missed. She seems impressed, so I guess they aren’t broken up after all? At Lauren’s place, she and Nadia have been getting it on and when Lauren heads for the shower, Nadia peruses the photos she took earlier. But she’s not even looking at Lauren’s knockers; turns out a lot of the photos are close-ups of the medallion the Ash gave Lauren. Maybe Nadia’s just a thigh girl? We’ll have to wait for future episodes to find out what that’s all about.