This one starts with everyone (except Dyson) gathered at the Dal for Ciara’s wake. It’s a fairly festive atmosphere, with the bar full of people drinking to Ciara’s memory (and Ashley McIsaac playing the fiddle), but it’s pretty somber at the same time. Kenzi mentions Dyson’s still recovering from the shit-kicking he took last episode and Lauren says she’s still trying to figure out how to stabilize Lachlan’s Naga venom. Everyone’s on edge, as demonstrated by them all freaking out when a couple of drunks come slamming through the door. Bo tells Trick it’s time for them to have a serious talk. Bo has a Luke Skywalker moment and tells Trick she knows he’s her father.
But Trick tells her she’s wrong and she feels stupid for a minute, but insists that she can feel some kind of connection with him. He admits that he’s Aife’s father, which makes him Bo’s grandpa. She asks who her father is, but Trick says he doesn’t know and that scares the shit out of him. He tells her how proud he is of her and she asks about their blood. Trick says his blood can be used to alter events while hers can enthrall people, making them subservient to her will. That’s why Lambert became obsessed with her after their blood mingled. But Trick warns her that controlling others is a slippery slope and can lead a person to a very dark place, from which they might not be able to come back. Bo says desperate times call for desperate measures and asks if he can help her summon the Nain Rouge. She realizes the Nain Rouge likes to observe tragic events … such as the funeral of a Fairy Queen.
Upstairs, Dyson shows up at the wake and leaves a bracelet beside Ciara’s picture. Lauren buys him a drink and says she knows how he feels, since she lost Nadia to the Goruda’s bullshit too. Dyson thanks Kenzi for saving his ass and he and Hale make peace—sort of. Below, Bo keeps insulting the Nain Rouge until she finally shows up. Bo says she’s tired of riddles and reminds the Nain Rouge that if the Goruda wins, she’ll die too. The Nain Rouge admits she’s scared and says the Light Fae are only half of the equation; to defeat the Goruda they’ll need the Dark Fae as well, preferably someone whose abilities are almost as strong as Bo’s. Bo has an idea who she can recruit and the Nain Rouge tells her to kick the Goruda’s ass.
Bo and Lauren go to Lachlan’s funeral, which isn’t as well-attended as Ciara’s since people didn’t really like Lachlan all that much. The Morrigan shows up and Bo says she needs Vex, but the Morrigan tells her Vex is in her dungeon and he’s staying there for the rest of his life. Bo wonders why the Morrigan would be so mad at Vex (Bo: “You two are like an evil Hall and Oates.”; Morrigan: “They’re not evil?”) The Morrigan is surprised Bo hasn’t already heard what Vex did and is reluctant to tell her, but Bo uses her succubus mojo to coax the story out of her. We get a flashback scene of the Morrigan flirting with a hot new client named Paolo. She closes the door and starts doing what looks to be a really hot dance number, which definitely gets Paolo’s attention (and mine). But it quickly turns … embarrassing. She ends up doing some weird hip-hop thing to “U Can’t Touch This” … in her underwear. Yeah., it’s weird. I mean, Emmanuelle Vaugier looks fucking incredible, but I hope they gave her a little extra money for the embarrassment factor. She realizes right away that Vex is controlling her and he busts in, laughing his ass off, and continues humiliating her as Paolo films it on his camera.
Bo finds the story hilarious, but says the Goruda is more important than the Morrigan’s wounded pride. The Morrigan says she’ll give Vex to Bo if Bo gets something for her from the Ash’s archives. Bo is reluctant, but the Morrigan says it’s either that or watch the Goruda kill everyone. Bo agrees to do it and heads deeper into the compound. Unfortunately, the archives are huge, so finding what she wants might take a while. At Dyson’s place, he’s expressing his anger by punching the heavy bag when Kenzi shows up. She starts slapping him around—physically and verbally—to get him to smarten up. She reminds him that he fought like hell after Ciara died, so giving up now is pretty stupid. Dyson says the Norn took the best part of him and Kenzi tells him it’s time they got it back.
They go to see the Norn but she refuses to give Dyson’s love back. Dyson tells her he needs it to fight the Goruda, but the Norn says she and her Heart Tree have weathered many storms and she’s sure they’ll still be around after the Goruda wipes everyone else out. Kenzi offers Ciara’s bracelet (which she lifted from the wake), but the Norn says it’s not as precious as a wolf’s only love. Dyson says they’re wasting their time and they leave, after Kenzi tells the Norn she reeks of peat moss. Oooh, burn. At home, Bo tells Kenzi about Trick being her grandpa and Kenzi is thrilled. Bo says she feels like Chicken Little (who Kenzi confuses with Tweety Bird) because she’s warning everybody about the end of the world and they won’t listen. Kenzi tells Bo her greatest super power is going against Fae rules to do what’s right. That gives Kenzi a great idea and she says she has to go to the hardware store.
At the Morrigan’s place, she’s ready to toss her mirror in the garbage because it makes her look 30. Bo gives her the case she stole and the Morrigan promises she’ll get Vex in return. Bo asks what was in the case she took but the Morrigan won’t say, so Bo leaves after telling her she does look 30. Now that’s a sick burn. At the Norn’s place, Kenzi shows up with a chainsaw and starts cutting the sacred tree. The Norn starts bleeding and freaks out, but Kenzi says she won’t stop until the Norn returns Dyson’s love. She does and Kenzi mentions that a lot of her transactions involve power tools. If it’s that easy to get what you want from the Norn, I’m surprised nobody’s done it before. But I guess that’s the whole point of the “Fae rules” thing; the Fae are so used to things being done a certain way, they can’t even imagine stepping outside those boundaries, whereas Kenzi (and Bo) don’t feel constrained by that, since their outsider perspective lets them see how stupid some of the rules really are.
At home, Bo has Vex tied to a chair so he can’t use his powers. They trade insults and Vex reveals he pissed off the Morrigan on purpose, so he’d get thrown in her dungeons. He says the Redcaps (a Fae gang who dip their caps in the blood of their enemies) are after him and the only safe place was in the dungeon. The Redcaps show up and Bo tries to fight them but gets distracted when the leader (Duncan) holds a knife to Vex’s throat. Bo gets knocked out. When she wakes up, she goes to see Lauren, who’s eager to help her heal … but Bo just asks for an aspirin. Lauren’s still working on the Naga venom, but isn’t having much luck. She reminds Bo of when she sucked the chi from a whole room full of people and suggests it was triggered by their feelings for each other. Before things get too hot and heavy, Lauren has an epiphany (“The Naga venom is only deoxygenated when it’s out of stasis!” She’s such a romantic.) and Bo leaves.
At the Norn’s place, she goes through her stash of stuff she’s taken from people over the centuries and tries to entice Kenzi into trading for something else. But Kenzi insists in getting Dyson’s “wolf mojo” and the Norn finally gives it to her. But Kenzi’s so excited she knocks a jar off a shelf and it breaks, splashing some shit on her arm. The Norn laughs and says a gift has been given and Kenzi leaves. I’m thinking this is the kind of gift Kenzi might want to return. At the Redcaps’ clubhouse, they’re drinking, kicking soccer balls at Vex’s face, and preparing to torture him. Bo comes in and says she wants Vex back and Duncan says they’ll trade him for the briefcase Bo gave the Morrigan. They give her two hours and she says she’ll get it.
At Dyson’s place, Kenzi gives him his love back and mentions she may have pissed the Norn off getting it—though I think Dyson might’ve guessed that when he saw the chainsaw. He takes the love back into himself as Kenzi watches. At the Morrigan’s place, she’s lying in bed fondling the briefcase—as one does. Bo comes in and says she fed off the Morrigan’s guards, but only enough to whet her appetite. She whips off her trenchcoat to reveal some sexy lingerie and says it’s party time. The Morrigan is into it and Bo gets her pretty worked up, then handcuffs her to the bed. Unfortunately, she leaves her all revved up with no place to go; Bo stops her seduction and grabs the briefcase, takes a picture of the cuffed Morrigan for blackmail purposes, and leaves. Come on, Bo … you coulda at least got her off before you left.
At the Redcaps’ clubhouse, Bo gives them the briefcase and they say she can have Vex. She asks why they were so pissed off at him and they say he was supposed to arrange it so their favourite football club (Exton) won the Cup. But Vex says he was only supposed to get them in the finals, not win, then goes on to insult their team and proclaim Paxford as the best club. The Redcaps decide to waste both of them, but the Morrigan shows up and melts one of the Redcaps. The others take off except Duncan, who grabs the briefcase. The Morrigan goes after him and Vex says the case contains secretions from the Barnacle Goose, which is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Bo is appalled that they’ve been fighting over football and Fae viagra when theGoruda’s coming to wipe them all out, but the Morrigan says if the world’s ending they might as well go out with a bang … so to speak. Duncan injects himself with one of the vials from the case, which pisses the Morrigan off (“How dare you use my Barnacle Goose!”) and she burns his head off. She’s ready to kill Bo too, but Vex gets a hand free and makes the Morrigan knock herself out. He asks Bo if she really thinks they can beat the Goruda and she says they have to try. He suggests taking the “sex goose” with them, just for giggles, but Bo’s not interested.
At the Dal, Bo tells everyone that Vex is joining them; nobody’s thrilled about it, but Bo says she’s the champion, so it’s her call. She then says even though she’s champion, she needs all of them behind her and they all agree to follow her, no matter what. Hale reminds her that there’s still some bad feelings between some of them—especially toward Vex—and Bo says she has an idea about how to fix that. At home, Bo and Kenzi drink to the Fae-pocalypse and try to get used to Vex staying with them. Bo says she doesn’t trust Vex completely and is worried what the Morrigan will do if they survive. Bo notes that Dyson seems different, but Kenzi doesn’t tell her why and suggests Bo should go be with Lauren, but Bo says she’d rather hang with Kenzi. Kenzi asks if they can actually win and Bo says they can, as long as there are no more surprises. On that ominous note, we see Trick working in his office when a draft blows through. He looks around, but nobody’s there. As he heads off to bed, we see a weird black mist rising from a grate in the floor.