Episode 8: Merge With Caution
This one starts in the middle of the action, with a thief crashing through a window, hotly pursued by Myka and Pete. The thief robbed a jewelry store and somehow vanished, but he’s not vanishing now, so Myka figures whatever artifact he’s using doesn’t work the way they thought. Back at the Warehouse, Claudia finds an anomaly in Hartford … a bunch of
guys at an insurance company are suddenly donating about half their income to some charity. Artie figures it has to be an artifact, since 50% of one’s income is a bit much for a simple tax write-off. He says Claudia will have to come with him to investigate, since Pete and Myka are busy in Denver. Claudia is excited, even though Artie’s not exactly a barrel of laughs to work with.
In Denver, Pete manages to grab the thief’s bag and Myka chases the thief himself. In a warehouse (ha!), she runs across a downed security guard who says the guy went out a window. She follows and Pete isn’t far behind, 
though he’s not quite as graceful, hurting his knee while jumping down. The thief is gone, but they find a statuette of a griffin in the bag. Pete says now that they’ve got the artifact, he can keep his date with Kelly and Myka can go to her high school reunion. She’s not all that enthused, even though the captain of the football team invited her personally. Turns out she used to help him with his homework. As they’re bagging the griffin, its eyes glow momentarily—and so do Myka and Pete’s eyes, but they don’t seem to notice anything, and they both act normal afterward. I’m sure something weird will happen later on.
At the Warehouse, Pete lets Leena know he brought in the griffin and says he plans on spending the entire weekend in bed—though he doesn’t mention he’s not planning on being alone. In Hartford, Artie meets with a VP (Howard Nesberg) at Truehart Insurance, who’s very evasive about why he suddenly gave a pile of money to a charity. Artie finds a photo of
Nesberg’s wife in the trash and asks if there’s another woman involved. Nesberg says there’s only one woman for him … then tosses the photo of his wife back in the garbage. Claudia has found out—through a chatty receptionist—that of the four VPs at Truehart, three of them have suddenly given huge chunks of money to the same charity and are having marital troubles. The only connection she can find is that each of the VPs went to the same bar and bought an apple mojito for somebody. The only Truehart exec so far unaffected is John Donley, who just left the building. Claudia says they should warn him, but Artie thinks Donley could be the mojito drinker, so it’s better if they follow him.
At the boardinghouse, Pete’s plans seem to have worked out; he and Kelly 
are getting it on. I guess she got over her antipathy toward him. Myka is in Colorado Springs, at her reunion. Myka’s surprised to see the football captain (Kurt, who’s played by Cody Rhodes of WWE fame) is even better looking than he was in high school. In Hartford, Artie and Claudia watch Donley talk to a woman at the bar. She’s trying to talk him into giving her some money (mainly by showing him a lot of thigh), but he’s not interested, saying he’s a happily married man. But as he’s leaving, he suddenly changes his mind and comes back, saying she fascinates him.
In Colorado Springs we see that Myka graduated in the Class of 2000, which means we get to hear Chumbawumba’s “Tubthumping” in the background. Kurt is surprised at how hot Myka is and she’s obviously into him, but it turns out his invitation was actually sent by his co-chair on the reunion
committee. Kurt invites her to have a drink with his jock friends, but she’s not really interested (although she’s really pounding the vodka tonics) and says she’ll catch him later. In Hartford, Artie and Claudia watch Donley throw himself at the mystery woman (who’s played by Laura Harris from Dead Like Me) and Artie says she must be using some kind of seduction artifact. Claudia puts an alarm on Donley’s bank account to alert them to any activity.
At the Warehouse, Leena is cataloguing the griffin, but when she removes it from the bag, sparks fly … it obviously still has some power. The griffin rotates on the desk and its eyes glow. We see Myka and Pete in the griffin’s 
glowing eyes; Pete is currently going for some post-sex food at the boardinghouse and Myka is pailing booze at the reunion. Their images switch places and superimpose dramatically, just to make sure we know what’s going on … they’ve switched places, Freaky Friday-style. Pete (in Myka’s body) calls Myka (in Pete’s body) and they realize what happened. Both of them are understandably freaked out, though their reactions are different. (Myka: “Pete, get your hands off my breasts!”; Pete: “Myka, how’d you know that?”; Myka: “Because you’re still you and I’m still me even though we’re in different bodies.”)
(From here on out, I’m going to refer to Pete and Myka, with the understanding that I mean their personalities, not their physical bodies; so when I say “Pete” I mean the guy in Myka’s body, and vice versa.) Pete’s 
feeling the buzz from the vodkas Myka drank, which isn’t good since he’s an alcoholic. Myka says she’ll come pick him up at the reunion, but Kelly’s in the mood for some more loving. That might’ve been interesting, but Myka isn’t into it and pretends she has to deliver a file to her partner. Kelly’s disappointed, but doesn’t seem to realize what’s up … though Myka’s not exactly inconspicuous, since she’s so embarrassed about walking around shirtless. Meanwhile, Pete manages to fit in perfectly with Kurt and his jock friends, which impresses the hell out of Kurt (who naturally thinks it’s Myka spouting all the sports knowledge and ordering hot wings).
In Hartford, Donley transfers a big wad of money to the woman’s account and leaves. Artie goes to confront her, using various means to protect himself from olfactory, pheremonal, and sound-based artifacts. He tells the woman (Lauren Andrews) that he knows she’s forcing men to “donate” money to her charity, but she denies it and tries to pull a Mrs. Robinson … or
maybe a Sharon Stone. Artie brushes her off and she leaves. Artie tells Claudia the investigation is over and Lauren is clean so they’re laving. Claudia wonders a his sudden change of mind and it gets worse when a crazed Donley confronts Artie outside the bar, telling him to leave Lauren alone. Artie decks him and is ready to Tesla him to death before Claudia steps in. When Donley sees Lauren’s car, he tries to flag her down, but she runs over him and keeps going. Artie is only concerned with how Lauren could’ve hurt herself.
At the reunion, Kurt and Pete are bonding over the three Stooges and Kurt goes in for a smooch. Pete is weirded out and at a total loss for words. Myka shows up and they head upstairs. Myka mad because Pete kissed her high school crush, but Pete says Kurt kissed him. (Myka: “Wait, Kurt likes me?”; 
Pete: “No, he likes me, he thinks you’re a giganto nerd.”) In Hartford, Artie is writing terrible poetry as he pines for Lauren. Claudia finds that Lauren’s brother died of liver disease six months ago after being turned down for coverage on an operation by Truehart Insurance. Lauren obviously wants revenge, and not just money. Claudia realizes there must be something about Lauren’s legs (“Holy gams, Batman!”), since Donley and Artie both touched her leg. Artie won’t hear anything negative about Lauren and is in full stalker mode … and full denial. (“Would a stalker go to her house in the middle of the night to read her poetry?”) Claudia stalls him by convincing him he should take a shower first.
In Colorado Springs, Pete and Myka examine the griffin and find a piece that slides out at the base, meaning the griffin isn’t a statue, it’s a bookend. They figure there must be another one, probably in the possession of the
jewel thief. When they put the griffin down, its eyes glow and it rotates, so they figure they can use it to home in on its twin. Kelly calls and Myka remembers she’d promised to call Kelly but forgot. (Pete: “Ah, so it’s not just a guy thing!”) Myka talks to Kelly and makes her some kind of promise, but Pete doesn’t hear exactly what Myka says. In Hartford, Claudia handcuffs Artie to the hanger rod in the closet and heads for Lauren’s place to retrieve the artifact.
Before Pete and Myka can get out of the hotel, the security guard they ran into earlier shows up with the other griffin statue. Turns out he and the 
thief are working very closely together—in fact, they’re sharing a body, changing back and forth randomly. They need the other griffin to stop the switches, and when Pete and Myka try to stop them, they end up sharing a body too. Myka knocks their opponent(s) out, but she and Pete are now stuck sharing the same body space (so to speak), switching back and forth at random like the guard and the thief. At least now Pete and Myka’s minds are back in the proper bodies; too bad only one of them can exist at any given time (though they do seem to be able to hear each other).
In Hartford, Claudia goes to Lauren’s house and finds out she wasn’t driving the car when it ran over Donley … Nesberg was, and he’s holding Lauren (and now Claudia) at gunpoint. (Nesberg is said to be in the hospital with broken ribs and other injuries, so he’s not dead at least.) In Colorado Springs, Pete/Myka move the unconscious guard into Myka’s room and
Kurt shows up for a late-night booty call. Myka/Pete puts him off, though Myka obviously wishes she didn’t have to. In Hartford, Nesberg handcuffs Claudia to the stove and Lauren to a post (does everyone have handcuffs?) Nesberg says he and Lauren are going to leave the country and be together forever, though Lauren’s really not into it. While Nesberg is packing for her, Lauren tells Claudia she has some stockings that’ll make men do anything she asks after they touch them. Claudia points out that turning them into crazy stalkers is almost poetic justice.
In the hotel, Artie makes an iron into an electro-magnet (“I was doing this when MacGyver was still trapped in his crib.”), attracts his bag of tools, and 
pops his cuffs. In Colorado Springs, Pete/Myka wake the guard/thief in the shower. The guard/thief’s transformations are getting faster and more intense, and before he can tell them how to use the griffins to stop the process, he explodes. In Hartford, Artie comes in just as Nesberg is about to shoot Claudia and blinds him with a shard from the Pharos of Alexandria. Artie’s not there for Claudia though; he lets Lauren go but leaves Claudia cuffed, saying he doesn’t want her to interfere with his future with Lauren.
Pete/Myka call Leena for help and she finds a picture of Robert Louis Stevenson that shows the statues in the background … but they’re not really griffin statues; one is a lion and one an eagle. Myka figures the statues’ heads must come off and when they got mixed up that caused the duality problems. If they put the heads back on the proper bodies, that should cure
them. In Hartford, Nesberg tries to stop Artie from leaving with Lauren and Artie prepares to blow him away. Claudia tells Lauren to get the stockings and they tear them to pieces before Artie shoots Nesberg. That cures both men of their lovesickness and Nesberg says he has to go home to his wife. In Colorado Springs, Pete and Myka get the heads on the right statues which separates them into their proper bodies again. They realize that trying to have normal lives while working as Warehouse agents is probably never going to work.
Lauren tells Artie she inherited the stockings in a box of stuff from her grandfather, who was a WWI diplomat. Turns out they belonged to Mata Hari world-class seductress, and Artie’s not sure if the stockings gave her power, or she gave them power. It would’ve been interesting if one of the Truehart execs was female; would the stockings still have worked? The real life Mata Hari was rumoured to be bisexual, so the artifact might’ve worked 
on a woman as well as a man. Before leaving, Myka tells Kurt she’d like to keep in touch and he gives her a big goodbye smooch. She asks which kiss was better and he says this one … apparently Pete burped right in the middle of the other one. Speaking of Pete, he’s romancing the shit out of Kelly to make up for Myka’s weird behaviour. But he needn’t have bothered, since Kelly is already head over heels in love with him. Turns out whatever Myka said on the phone is “the sweetest thing any guy has ever said to me.” Unfortunately, Pete has no idea what Myka said, so he has to try and get Kelly to repeat it. These body-switching stories are a bit gimmicky, but this one was pretty well done. The actors seem to have fun playing each other and do a pretty good job getting each other’s idiosyncracies down.