Superman #416 – “The Einstein Connection” – Elliot S! Maggin/Curt Swan/Al Williamson
This story actually starts a few years ago (on March 14), with Lex Luthor arriving in a motorboat at the New Jersey shore. Superman shows up to grab him (although Lex’s only crime so far is breaking out of jail), and we learn that there’s something about this particular day that has a particular meaning to Lex. He seemingly teleports away, but Superman figures out that he’s hiding invisibly and follows as Lex hitches a ride to Princeton University. At an ice cream parlour, Lex orders a specific sundae (apparently copying someone else’s order from years before), but Superman is disguised as the
soda jerk and captures him, still wondering what it is about this particular day that’s got Lex so worked up. A couple years later (again on March 14), Clark hears a rumour about Lex working in disguise at the patent office in Zurich. (Between that and the story’s title, you should be able to figure out who Lex is emulating.) Superman disguises himself as a patent applicant and shows Lex the plans for a Perpetual Motion Machine, knowing Lex will steal them. He catches the wily scientist again, but still hasn’t figured out Lex’s pattern, other than knowing that he does weird shit every March 14). So March 14 rolls around again, this time in the (then-current) year of 1986. There’s another disturbance at Princeton, this time of an archway made of water that 
shouldn’t be possible. Superman realizes Lex is using the spectacle as a diversion and finds him in a historic office at the University, going through the papers of an old professor. Lex escapes with a distraction (we’ll see how in the second story from this issue), but stops to save a kid from drowning, not wanting to taint this special day with unnecessary death. Superman grabs Lex and, having finally figured out his pattern, flies him to the Smithsonian in Washington so Lex can visit the statue of Einstein. Yeah, March 14 is Einstein’s birthday and Lex has been re-enacting scenes from the life of his hero. After letting Lex admire the statue for a while, Superman takes him to prison, but Lex thanks Supes for giving him that moment with his hero’s monument.
“The Ghost of Superman Future” – Elliot S! Maggin/Curt Swan/Al Williamson
This is set about a hundred years in the future, with an older, greybeard Superman telling tales to a bunch of fans (or maybe they’re scientists, or historians or something). Old superman uses a holographic time projector (invented by Lex Luthor, ironically) to send his image back in time to March
14, 1986 and the story we saw above. While Superman is looking for Lex, the image of his older self appears and tells him he has to let Lex escape when he first catches him at Princeton. Naturally, the younger Superman assumes it’s one of Lex’s tricks, but when he catches Lex the first time and mentions the aged Superman image, Lex doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about and his confusion is enough to let him temporarily escape the Man of Steel. We already know how that story ends and we see the future Superman addressing a videotape (!) to the psychiatrist who apparently cured Lex and turned him into a model citizen some time in the past. I guess the video was of the above story, although that isn’t made clear.
Action #576 – “Earth’s Sister Planet” – William Woolfolk/Kurt Schaffenberger
This is a very Silver Age story; I’m not sure if this is meant to be canon as far as DC history/cosmology go, but Crisis will wipe it all out anyway, so it probably doesn’t matter. We start with some intelligent dinosaurs on a rogue planet heading toward Earth. (I told you it was Silver Age.) Apparently, the solar activity that wiped out Earth’s dinosaurs sent this tenth planet in the solar planet spinning wildly out of orbit. Now they’re coming home, led by a Dino named Klystro But when Klystro finds out mammals are the dominant (and intelligent) species on Earth now, he decides to obliterate the planet. His son knows that’s wrong,
so he warns some other inhabitants of the rogue planet, who look like pterodactyls with fur. I’m not sure if they’re meant to be reptiles, mammals, or something in between. Klystro fires his weapon (which looks rather phallic), but Superman is aware of the threat and stops the gamma ray from hitting Earth by interposing a huge asteroid. The Furdactyls show up to destroy the gamma cannon, but Superman assumes they’re the ones who fired it and chases them away before wrecking the cannon himself. Klystro pretends to be friendly, telling Superman how his planet ended up a rogue and how they use geo-thermal energy for power (and to build a shield to protect them from the cold of space), but admits that they’re running out of power now. Klystro reveals his true intentions and tries to kill Superman, but learns 
that’s not easy to do. He does manage to hit Superman with augmented gravity so he can hardly move and has him thrown to some purple monsters for food. The Purple People-Eaters try to eat Superman like corn on the cob and once he starts spinning, he shakes of the excess gravity and pounds the monsters. Klystro is still determined to wipe out Earth’s population, but his son and the Furdactyls warn Superman. Supes catches Klystro in his spaceship and blocks the energy weapon, which explodes the ship and kills Klystro. (Superman doesn’t seem bothered by causing Klystro’s death.) Klystro’s son is saddened by his father’s death, even though he knew Klystro was wrong. Superman moves the rogue planet to an orbit opposite Venus, which will allow the Dinos and the Furdactyls to live in perfect comfort.
“The Monumental Menace of Metropolis” – Mark Waid/Paris Culllins/Mike DeCarlo
This is a weird little story that starts with Supeman dedicating another statue of himself … except it turns out to be a statue of someone else (who looks kinda like one of the Wonder Twins). Superman is so stunned he can’t even talk, not even when a couple of aliens show up wanting revenge for his defeat of them a few years back. Jimmy Olsen is at the ceremony and Superman (still not saying a word) burns the word “watch” into a tree nearby, so Jimmy follows the fight with his camera. Superman seems to have forgotten how to fight, but when he highlights the word “sonic” from a jet’s tail and “watch” again on a billboard, Jimmy finally gets the message. Last time Supes defeated these
aliens, it was by using ultra-sonic frequencies … like those in Jimmy’s Signal Watch. Jimmy returns to the statue and triggers his watch, shattering the statue, which turns out not to be a statue but an alien hero named Vaalor (no relation to Mon-El I assume). Superman’s mind is in Vaalor’s body (and vice versa, which explains why “Superman” couldn’t fight worth a shit), but with the help of Jimmy’s watch the two heroes defeat the aliens and switch their minds back. Vaalor tells how he was fighting the aliens, got encased in metal (making him look like a statue), and switched minds with Superman upon the unveiling. Vaalor feels like a failure for getting caught by the aliens, but Superman restores the statue of Vaalor to boost his confidence and make him feel like a real hero.
DC Comics Presents #90 – “Escape From Solitude” – Paul Kupperberg/Denys Cowan/Dave Hunt
This one starts at mission control in Houston, where Nathaniel Adam is monitoring the flight of a space shuttle piloted by his girlfriend, Connie Matthews. Ronnie Raymond just happens to be friends with Connie’s brother, who invited Ronnie to Houston to see the launch. Something goes wrong with the shuttle and Ronnie slips away to trigger the transformation to Firestorm, pulling Professor Stein from whatever he was doing. But Firestorm’s not the only superhero around: Nathaniel Adam is really Captain Atom (an old Charlton hero who was introduced into the DC
universe during the Crisis). Firestorm and Captain Atom run into each other in orbit, but luckily avoid the usual misunderstanding fight. When they try to help the shuttle, their powers are weakened by some weird energy field surrounding the vessel. Inside, Connie informs ground control that their electronics are out, so they’ve only got the air in their flight suits … about ninety minutes’ worth. Connie and her crew are startled when a half-naked weirdo with glowing eyes shows up from the cargo compartment. He’s not too articulate, but seems to want to help. He recognizes Connie as different from the rest of 
the crew (she’s the only woman) and is fascinated by her. Firestorm decides to get some help and zips down to Metropolis to recruit Superman. Captain Atom phases into the shuttle to check the occupants, but the weird dude (who says his name is Rayburn) has just taken off with Connie, saying he wants her company as he sees this world again. Captain Atom isn’t happy about Connie being taken and when Superman shows up, Atom heads after Rayburn while the Man of Steel lands the shuttle safely. Firestorm runs into Rayburn and suddenly feels weak, falling from the sky. Captain Atom catches him, but he gets weak too and they both hit the ground and pass out. Superman finds them and realizes that Firestorm and Captain Atom both give off radiation
that’s detrimental to each other. Superman tells them they’ll have to stay a few hundred yards apart from now on, or the radiation could kill them both. Meanwhile, Rayburn has taken Connie to Denver and wants her to be his girlfriend or something. His presence (he gives off massive amounts of radiation) causes the city’s power plants to overload and Rayburn flies in to stop the explosion, not realizing he’s the cause. Firestorm shows up and Rayburn kicks his ass, then slaps Captain Atom around when he tries to help Connie escape. Rayburn blathers about loneliness and being confined, unwittingly causing collateral damage the whole time. Superman recognizes the tatters of Rayburn’s outfit and goes to check something, leaving Firestorm and Atom to try and get Connie away from him. Rayburn gets pissed off, but Superman returns 
with the info he needs to reason with Rayburn. Turns out he’s actually Dr. Sam Raybourne, a STAR Labs scientist who was exposed to a heavy dose of radiation and isolated. Raybourne ended up being changed as the radiation evolved and strengthened, turning him into the amnesiac weirdo who’s been flying around causing accidents. Raybourne’s radiation is still getting more intense and Superman warns that he’ll probably blow up soon. Raybourne does start glowing, but manages to absorb the radiation as it comes out of him, imploding instead of exploding and saving everyone. He even somehow manages to absorb the radiation that had already affected Connie, so everything turns out great … well, except for Raybourne. I suspect this story was just a way of introducing Captain Atom to the regular DC continuity after the Crisis.
Justice League of America #247 – “There’s No Place Like Home” – Gerry Conway/Luke McDonnell/Bill Wray
This one starts with the JLA checking out the original team’s headquarters (the Secret Sanctuary cave in Happy Harbor) after being kicked out of their Detroit HQ last issue. The place is pretty dirty, but not in such bad shape considering how long it’s been empty. Gypsy really seems to like it and gets pissed off when Vibe says it’s a shithole. Gypsy does something with her powers that makes Vibe see a very realistic illusion of the ground opening up under his feet and lava erupting all over. Vibe is freaked out, but nobody else saw anything, so he plays it cool, vowing to keep an eye on Gypsy. Since J’onn, Zatanna, Steel, and Vibe have stuff to do, that leaves
Vixen, Gypsy, and Ralph (Elongated Man) Dibny to start cleaning up. Before they leave, J’onn and Steel get the generators going again, providing power to the complex. Gypsy discovers a family of possums and adopts them immediately. Vixen feels another presence and we see something in the shadows with glowing eyes, but it takes off before anyone sees it. We get an interlude with an inmate escaping from Takron-Galtos, the prison planet. We don’t see exactly who it is, but he has pink skin and mentions going to Kalanor, so my money’s on Despero. In New York, Steel goes to work at the gym where one of his clients makes an offer for him to be in some action-adventure movies. Zatanna’s at 
her apartment, still wondering where her friend Sheri (who was subletting her place) has disappeared to. Zatanna finds some strange dust on the floor, but isn’t sure what it means. In the Secret Sanctuary, Gypsy reminisces about her childhood pets while taking care of the possums, but when Ralph points out that this is the first time she’s really opened up about herself, Gypsy backpedals and pretends she was lying; I don’t think Ralph buys it, though. Vixen is still looking for whatever she sensed earlier and she finds it … or it finds her, blasting her with some kind of black fire that sends her flying. Ralph catches her but they’re both knocked out, leaving Gypsy alone with the creature, some kind of alien blob. It comes after her and she turns invisible, but the blob seems
to be able to smell her. It lifts the table to throw it at her, knocking the possums onto the floor. That pisses Gypsy off and she shoves the creature back. She’s surprised when it sits down and starts crying, although the black flames do disappear from Ralph and Vixen. Gypsy feels bad for hurting the creature, but Ralph says they need to figure out what the hell it is and where it came from.