Xena Reviews: Season 2, Episode 5

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun – Director: T.J. Scott/Writers: Adam Armus, Nora Kaye Foster

This one starts with Joxer being chased through a forest by wolves. Elsewhere in the forest, Xena and Gabi learn about six local girls who have disappeared lately. Xena tells Gabi this is the Bacchae Forest, where Orpheus’s singing is supposed to keep the Bacchae under control. But Orpheus is missing, so Xena figures the Bacchae took the missing girls. Gabi gives us a bunch of exposition on the Bacchae: they’re followers of Bacchus, wild and dangerous, they turn other girls into Bacchae if they bite them, and they can transform themselves into animals … like wolves. Basically, they’re the Xena equivalent of sexy vampires. And once the Bacchae drink Bacchus’s blood, they can never become human again. Joxer shows up, pursued by the wolves, which Xena scares off with her whip. Joxer tells Xena he has something for her and pulls out Orpheus’s head.

Orpheus confirms that Bacchus took the girls, and stole his body to keep him from playing his lyre. Orpheus hates Xena, but agrees to help fight Bacchus. Xena tells Gabi that her army fought Bacchus years ago and Orpheus’s wife (Eurydice) got caught in-between the warring parties. Xena’s sure Bacchus killed her, but Orpheus blames both of them. They head into town to get Orpheus’s lyre, which his friend Melodus is keeping for him. Orpheus figures Melodus can play the lyre while he sings, thus soothing the Bacchae. But Melodus is dead and the lyre’s gone. Xena goes to look for the lyre, leaving Gabi to watch Orpheus and Joxer (who talk about music). There’s a festival going on and Gabi notices some women who look like Bacchae passing by. She follows them, almost seeming mesmerized, and they lead her to a club full of people dancing. Gabi dances with the two women (rather homo-erotically), but doesn’t seem to realize they’re Bacchae. Xena tracks down the two other Bacchae who took the lyre and attacks them, but they get away … and it kinda looks like Xena was bitten during the fight. Joxer finds Gabi at the club still dancing with the girls, so he pulls her away and Xena returns, telling them she couldn’t get the lyre. Xena suggests they go after Bacchus, killing him to free all the girls and restore Orpheus. She’s ready to leave Joxer behind, until he mentions that he can play the lyre. Joxer notices blood on Xena’s neck and gets paranoid, thinking she was bitten by a Bacchae.

Joxer mentions his suspicions to Gabi, who doesn’t believe him. At camp that night, Orpheus is still a dick to Xena, blaming her for Eurydice’s death. Joxer’s paranoia is really getting bad, especially when he finds Xena creeping up on him with a dagger. (She was just killing a sand spider.) Xena leads them to a Dryad graveyard, saying Dryad bones are the only thing that can kill Bacchae. The Dryads aren’t exactly dead—more like undead—and after trying unsuccessfully to drag Joxer underground, they burst from their graves and attack. These Dryads aren’t beautiful tree spirits, they’re flying skeletons that look more like undead Harpies. Xena wastes two of the Dryads and drives another away, and they pick up the bones. Joxer confronts Xena with his suspicions, but she assures him she’s not a Bacchae. Turns out she’s telling the truth … Gabi is actually the Bacchae in their midst.

Gabi takes off into the catacombs and Xena insists they go after her. Orpheus thinks Xena is being selfish, putting her own feelings above what’s right (killing Bacchus). Orpheus convinces Joxer that he should kill Gabi if he gets a chance. Gabi attacks them in a cavern and Xena stops Joxer from killing her, but Gabi flies away. For some reason, Orpheus apologizes to Xena and says he doesn’t blame her anymore for Eurydice’s death. Gabi makes her way to Bacchus’s cave, where he urges her to drink his blood and become a Bacchae forever.

Xena stops Gabi from drinking the blood and starts pounding Bacchae, while Joxer (and Orpheus’s head) go after the lyre. They get the lyre and Joxer strums a tune while Orpheus sings, causing pain to all the Bacchae. Bacchus decks Joxer and Xena confronts him, stabbing him with a Dryad bone. Unfortunately, Bacchus can only be killed by a Bacchae (which he rather stupidly admits to Xena). So when Bacchus orders Gabi to bite Xena and transform her into a Bacchae, Xena lets Gabi do it. Xena transforms, but retains enough presence of mind to stab Bacchus again, this time killing him. All the Bacchae (including Gabi) change back to girls and Orpheus gets his body back. Orpheus goes back to singing and playing music in the Bacchae Forest and thanks Xena again for her help. Joxer is ready to accompany Xena and Gabi on their next adventure, until Gabi tells him they’ll be fighting a Medusa. That gets rid of him quick, and when Gabi thanks Xena for saving her, Xena says they’re even.

This is one of my least favourite Xena episodes (it’s #130 on my all-time list). Technically, the story isn’t that bad, but the overall style of the episode is too weird for me. It’s like a rock video, with endless cuts, dissolves, fades, weird camera angles, and funky tempo. T.J. Scott said he was going for style over substance and he definitely succeeded. It looks more like a Buffy episode than Xena (right up to Bacchus’s look), and while I like Buffy, it’s a totally different show stylistically … those streams should not be crossing. If the camerawork had been more traditional, I might’ve liked this better; the basic story is interesting, although there are some problems there too. The “suspense” over Xena maybe being a Bacchae was never really all that convincing, and the big reveal of Gabi being the Bacchae wasn’t really all that shocking (since she did look hypnotized while dancing with the Bacchae in the club). Add to that Orpheus suddenly deciding to forgive Xena halfway through the episode, when all he’d done before was spew vitriol at her, and it makes for a very disappointing episode (at least for me).

As I mentioned before, the Bacchae seem to be the Xena equivalent of vampires … of the young, sexy, and female variety. We get the usual vampire tropes (making it resemble a Buffy episode even more), plus some lesbian overtones. Gabi dancing with the Bacchae girls in the club was pretty suggestive, and Gabi really seemed into it. Maybe she was being influenced somehow, but it looks like Gabi’s open-minded about the whole girl-on-girl thing (which is good, since she’ll be open-minded about a relationship with Xena later). I don’t think Gabi’s hot for Xena just yet; I think she’s still in hero-worship mode. But the way Xena immediately makes Gabi her top priority as soon as she turns into a Bacchae, makes me think Xena is probably already in love with Gabi at this point. And then there’s the (in)famous bite that Gabi lays on Xena to change her into a Bacchae. T.J. Scott described it as “… we did two takes that were on the edge of tasteful vampire sexuality, and we did a third take where Lucy really let loose. Of course, we all died laughed and said, ‘Okay, that one is never going to make it to the screen, we definitely pushed it too far!’” I would absolutely love to see that alternate take! And when Xena dives down from the ledge to kill Bacchus, Gabi comes with her and doesn’t try to stop her. Maybe the bite created (or strengthened) a bond between Xena and Gabi?

Noticeable Things:

• In Greek mythology, Bacchus’s followers were the Maenads, who went into a frenzy and literally tore people apart with their bare hands (including Orpheus).
• I can’t help wondering exactly how Xena knew Eurydice. She said something about Eurydice visiting Xena’s camp before she was killed, but why? To offer to make peace between the armies, or were Xena and Eurydice more than friends? Maybe they were exes; either way, that would explain Orpheus’s anger toward Xena, though his forgiveness still comes out of nowhere.
• At the end of the episode, we see (and hear) Bacchus superimposed over the scene, suggesting he might still be alive. It might just be one more stylistic flourish, or maybe they were planning on bringing Bacchus back sometime and never got around to it.

Favourite Quotes:

• “Speaks for itself.” Joxer’s explanation for what he brought Xena, right before pulling Orpheus’s head out of a bag.
• “Yeah, right, and a hydra makes a good house pet.” Joxer’s skepticism when Orpheus says someone can be both a musician and a warrior. Joxer was shy about admitting his musical skills because he considered them not fit for a warrior.
• “Okay, fine. But when she bites your head off in the middle of the night, don’t come running to me.” Joxer, expressing his concerns to Gabi about Xena possibly being Bacchae-bitten.