Comics Reviews: Superman 418, Action 578, DC Comics Presents 92, JLA 249

Superman #418 – “The Replacement” – Cary Bates/Curt Swan/Dave Hunt

This one starts with Superman being shanghaied into space by some aliens. But these aliens aren’t attacking him, they need his help. A strange entity has attacked their planet, consuming its atmosphere, and they need Superman to stop it. Since he knows their race to be a peaceful one, he agrees and they beam him to their planet. The aliens decide they’d better leave a replacement on Earth to do Superman’s job while he’s away (although they don’t tell Superman that). They send a simulacrum (apparently not a robot, though it supposedly has been given Superman’s sense of justice) to take care of Earth until Superman returns. The replacement starts off well, stopping a bank robbery and catching the crooks using an array of high-tech weaponry. It’s soon dubbed “Superman-X” by the media, who have a field day speculating on where it came from and how it might be connected to Superman. But their curiosity soon turns to alarm when Superman-X goes beyond anything the real Man of Steel ever did. First it disintegrates all the guns in Metropolis (including ones held by cops) and later, when facing Metallo, it changes all the Kryptonite into sandstone. Jimmy Olsen speculates that Superman-X is eliminating anything it perceives as a threat—either to the public or to Superman. But Superman-X goes even further, using its power to heal the sick, prevent traffic accidents, and rejuvenate the elderly (so an old bag ends up punching out a mugger). But when Superman-X sets up broadcast towers that emit signals forcing all criminals to turn themselves in, Lois and jimmy know they have to act. They call Superman-X (with Jimmy’s signal watch) and explain to him why Superman never took it upon himself to cure all the world’s problems. They mention nuclear bombs, saying Superman could try to get rid of them all, but would never be sure more might be produced … and it would only take one to screw up the world. After pointing out how unfair it is for Metropolis to be singled out for all Superman-X’s good deeds, Lois and Jimmy show Superman-X a news tape of some kid being trampled to death at the hospital by crowds wanting to be healed. Lana’s editorializes about the tragedy, saying Superman-X’s good intentions can’t bring back the dead kid. Since Superman-X has the real Superman’s conscience, he feels guilty about the dead kid and takes off into space. Turns out Lois, Jimmy, and Lana faked the tape—there was no dead kid, but it worked. With Superman-X’s departure, all the guns, crooks, and accidents return to the city (although the people he cured stay healthy). When the real Superman returns, Lois and Jimmy are bursting to tell him what happened.

Action #578 – “The Most Popular Man in Metropolis” – Craig Boldman/Kurt Schaffenberger

This is another of those stories that would fit better in the Silver Age. It starts with a guy named Joe Blohe (yeah, like I said, Silver Age) at a carnival where he meets Superman and shakes his hand. We see there’s something sinister about Blohe, but Superman doesn’t notice anything amiss, even when the crowds suddenly walk away from him. On the way to work, Superman notices a ship (the Voltaire) returning to Metropolis after a salvage mission where they hauled up an Egyptian sarcophagus from a decades-old shipwreck. We see that the Voltaire’s crew may have brought back more than they bargained for. Superman stops to rescue some people from a burning building and put out the fire, but instead of being grateful the tenants ignore him and the fire chief gives him shit for interfering. At WGBS, Superman notices Joe Blohe on the sidewalk out front, surrounded by an adoring crowd, but thinks nothing of it. Inside, Clark Kent gets a cold reception from Josh (the producer), Morgan Edge (who tells Clark they don’t want him on the news anymore, and even Lana. After changing to Superman, he sees Blohe outside and stops to talk to him. They’re interrupted by Lana, who wants Blohe to appear on the WGBS newscast as a commentator. Superman knows something weird is going on and after failing to find any public records on Joe Blohe, heads back to the carnival where he first saw him. Superman asks Blohe how he got so popular and Blohe says it’s just the way people are … they get tired of their old heroes and adopt new ones. To demonstrate, Blohe stops the roller coaster short, causing a car too jump the tracks. Superman saves everyone, but nobody is willing to say a bad word about Joe Blohe, even praising him for exposing the fault in the roller coaster. Blohe challenges Superman to a wrestling match and Supes assumes Blohe has some hidden powers so he goes after him. But Blohe doesn’t have any powers and Superman comes off looking like a jealous asshole who tried to kill Blohe. Even Lois gives him shit afterwards. The sarcophagus on the Voltaire turns out to be holding a robot that goes on a rampage, trapping people in some kind of amber stasis field and trying to enclose Metropolis in a huge amber stasis pyramid. Superman tackles the robot, but when the crowds start cheering for the robot to win, he gets pissed off and leaves. At home, he watches Blohe’s news commentary (about how ordinary people are better than superheroes) while paging through his photo album. Something brings back Superman’s resolve and he goes to the TV studio, exposing Blohe as the Parasite. Apparently Parasite found a way to steal Superman’s popularity (which he says is a form of energy), hoping the loss of public adulation will sap Superman’s will, making him helpless. But Superman fights back and gives the Parasite a speech about how Parasite still cares about Superman (even if no one else does), otherwise he wouldn’t be so obsessed with beating him. As Superman wails on Parasite (and pontificates) the crowds start cheering for the Man of Steel again. Superman beats Parasite, then heads out to get rid of the robot (which has apparently just been looking for someplace quiet to rest). After tossing the robot and its pyramid into space, Superman heads home, enjoying the approval of the people again. At home, we see what made him stop feeling sorry for himself … a photo of his parents, who were always his biggest fans.

DC Comics Presents #92 – “A Question of Justice” – Paul Kupperberg/Curt Swan/Dave Hunt

This one starts with Clark Kent and Lana Lang in New York on New Year’s Eve covering the big ball-drop for WGBS. While Clark is kissing Lana at midnight, he notices a guy aiming a gun at the ball and tackles him. The guy claims innocence, but the cops haul him away since he was carrying a gun. The next day, Clark and Lana go to court to see the guy’s arraignment, which is presided over by Adrian Chase (formerly the Vigilante). The guy with the gun (Mark Griffen) claims he thought somebody was trying to pickpocket his (licensed) gun and was just checking to make sure it was still there. Clark knows that’s a load of crap, but without revealing his super-powers he can’t really prove it (and is forced to admit he was “distracted” by kissing Lana. Adrian’s bailiff Dave Winston (who’s the new Vigilante) thinks Griffen looks vaguely familiar, but figures he’s has plastic surgery. The case against Griffen is dismissed, but Clark and Winston both decide to investigate further. Superman finds nerve gas inside the ball Griffen was aiming at and hurls it into space. Winston goes through court records and finds out Griffen is really Arthur Bryan, a crooked chemist who cooked up some nerve gas and tried to sell it. Superman checks Griffen’s place, but he’s long gone. After talking to the mayor, Superman finds out someone had threatened to release nerve gas on New Year’s but the mayor assumed it was a hoax. Superman goes to check the police records and finds Vigilante there. Vigilante explains that the nutcase who was killing people was a different Vigilante, but Superman’s still wary of working with someone who’s technically outside the law. When Vigilante tells him about Bryan, Superman realizes something bad is about to happen and agrees to cooperate. Vigilante uses intimidation to get info on Bryan’s plan, which involves releasing nerve gas in other cities. Superman heads to Philadelphia to shut down the operation there (by inhaling the toxic gas!), while Vigilante invades Bryan’s New York hideout, taking out several guards. Superman zips over to New Jersey to stop a helicopter full of nerve gas from taking off. Vigilante confronts Bryan, who’s about to launch nerve gas from mortars on the roof of his building. Vigilante takes out some of Bryan’s men, but Bryan fires he mortars. Vigilante is ready to waste him, but Superman shows up, catches the mortars, and corrals the bad guys. Superman tells Vigilante he believes he’s a good guy and hopes he stays that way.

Justice League of America #249 – “All Fall Down” – Gerry Conway/Luke McDonnell/Bill Wray

This one continues from last issue, with Vixen having collapsed after aging to an unnatural degree. J’onn and Ralph rush Vixen inside to the med lab, but Steel and Vibe stay outside to question Gypsy about her new “friend” … the weird blob-thing she found in the caves and nicknamed Junior. Steel and Vibe think Junior’s presence and Vixen’s illness can’t be a coincidence, but Gypsy is sue Junior is just an innocent child (of whatever weird species he belongs to). When Steel and Vibe try to drag Junior inside to throw it in the holding cells, Junior collapses the cave entrance. By the time Steel busts through, Junior and Gypsy are gone. In the med lab, J’onn can’t find anything wrong with Vixen, but says her life-force is being drained somehow. He finds a flake of dried skin and thinks Junior might be the key. When Steel and Vibe tell him what happened, he orders them to find Junior and bring it back. Ralph is starting to feel a bit weird (like Vixen was last issue), but he doesn’t mention it to anyone. In New York, Zatanna goes to see a witch to find out what happened to her missing friend, giving her the ashes she found on the floor. The witch tells Zatanna it’s not ash but graveyard dust and says there’s voodoo involved in her friend’s disappearance. Zatanna decides to head to the marina, since her friend’s note mentioned it. On the way to headquarters, Sue Dibny almost runs over Gypsy and Junior and is startled to find Gypsy has aged almost to the point of death. Steel and Vibe show up to explain what’s going on. At HQ, J’onn finds an old case file about the JLA helping a planet with beings that grew from spores and absorbed life-force to live. The JLA computer speculates that one of the spores as brought back accidentally and grew in the years the HQ was abandoned, feeding off small animals and insects, but now it’s feeding off people. J’onn tries to send out a signal to all JLA members, past and present, but the aging affects him rapidly and he keels over. Sue and the others show up and Sue freaks when she finds Ralph near death. Junior drops its pretense and feeds off the JLA members, leaving them aged and almost devoid of life. Junior mutates from its blob form, hatching into some kind of glowing humanoid. Sue manages to hit the alarm button right before the alien catches up to her. We’ll see who that brings running next issue.