Xena Reviews: Season 2, Episode 6

Return of Callisto – Director: T.J. Scott/Writer: R.J. Stewart

This one starts with some guards tormenting Callisto in prison. They figure they’re safe since she’s strapped into a chair, but karma’s a bitch. She manages to steal a dagger, frees herself, and massacres the guards. She frees her lieutenant (Theodorus) and tells him to liberate all the strong prisoners and kill the weak ones. She also orders him to bring the chair she was confined in, since she has plans for it … plans that involve Xena.

Perdicus shows up at Xena and Gabi’s campsite and proposes to Gabi. Apparently he’s been fighting a lot lately and can’t handle the violence anymore; in modern terms, he has pretty bad PTSD. Since Gabi is a fighter who refuses to kill, Perdicus used her memory to get him through the trauma and now says he’s in love with her and wants to marry her. Gabi is shocked and needs time to think about it. Not far away, Joxer is bragging to some kids when Callisto and her horde show up. Callisto tells Joxer to let Xena know that all the innocent blood she spills will be on Xena’s head, since Xena saved her the last time they met. On the road, Gabi tells Xena she’s going to turn Perdicus down. Xena assures Gabi not to worry about her and do what she feels is right, but Gabi doesn’t seem too enthused about marrying Perdicus so suddenly. Joxer finds them and tells them Callisto is back. They find Callisto and her men ravaging a village. Callisto gets the drop on Xena when she’s distracted saving a kid, but instead of just wasting her, Callisto says she’s going to kill Xena’s soul and takes off. Gabi and Perdicus join the fight, but when Perdicus kills one of Callisto’s goons, his PTSD kicks in and he freezes up. He tells Gabi he’s done with fighting whether she says yes or no, and he just wants to go home. Seeing how traumatized Perdicus is, Gabi tells Xena she’s changed her mind … she will marry him.

Gabi and Perdicus get married, with Xena and Joxer as guests. Xena is obviously troubled by Gabi’s marriage, but she covers it up for Gabi’s sake. While Joxer talks to Perdicus (they seem to have gotten quite friendly), Xena and Gabi say their farewells. Xena refuses to say goodbye, claiming she’ll visit often, but the kiss she gives Gabi has a certain finality to it (as well as a touch of romance, in my opinion). After Gabi and Perdicus leave, Xena does say goodbye … to the empty room. Gabi is nervous on her wedding night; it’s her first time, plus she’s worried about leaving Xena all alone. (Being a soldier, Perdicus has banged around a bit.) Gabi and Perdicus do finally get it on. Xena catches Theodorus, who tells her Callisto is out looking for Gabi. The next morning, Callisto surprises Perdicus and Gabi and after slapping Perdicus down, prepares to waste Gabi. Xena shows up and fights Callisto. Since she can’t get to Gabi, Callisto settles for killing Perdicus and takes off, leaving Gabi crying over her husband, who she barely got a chance to know.

After Perdicus’s funeral, Gabi is so pissed off she can’t think of anything except killing Callisto. She tells Xena she’s going after Callisto no matter what, and badgers her into teaching her some basic swordsmanship. Xena resists, not wanting to help Gabi lose her innocence and goodness, but Gabi says it’s too late … she’s given up on love and thinks cruelty and hate are stronger. In a cave not far away, Callisto’s soldiers are having a party; from the weird camera work and funky music, it almost seems like leftover footage from Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Theodorus tries to flirt with Callisto, but she shoots him down pretty fast. Outside, Xena has scouted the cave and suggests they wait until morning, when everyone will be passed out. Xena tries to talk Gabi out of revenge again, but can’t get through to her. Xena goes into the woods to pray, asking that Gabi not lose the light that led Xena to a better path. Gabi overhears her and pretends she’s changed her mind and wants to head home right away. Xena lets her go, but of course Gabi’s heading straight for the cave. I’m surprised Xena didn’t expect that, since she knows how stubborn Gabi is; maybe she thought her prayer had been answered. Gabi sneaks in among the passed out revellers and holds a sword to Callisto’s throat. (Callisto wasn’t drinking, but she is asleep.)

Gabi remembers Xena’s prayer, Perdicus’s faith in her, and the promise she extracted from Xena at the campfire last season and can’t bring herself to kill Callisto. When she drops the sword, Callisto wakes up, stunned that Gabi didn’t kill her when she had the chance. Gabi’s ready to die, but Callisto wants to make a show of her death for Xena. When Xena sneaks in later, she walks right into a trap and can’t fight because Theodorus has Gabi. Gabi is tied to a stake to be burned alive, while Xena is strapped into the chair Callisto brought from prison (after Callisto claims Xena’s chakram for herself). As the flames rise around Gabi, Joxer charges in and gets his ass kicked, taking an arrow in the collarbone. The distraction lets Xena retrieve her chakram and free herself and Gabi. They start kicking ass and Xena squares off with Callisto. After a short fight, Callisto takes off and we get another chariot chase. (Apparently those were hard to film, so they didn’t use them much.) Xena chases Callisto down and they end up in some quicksand. Xena frees herself with a whip, but leaves Callisto sinking into the quicksand, ignoring her cries for help. Joxer is fine (and figures his scar will make him a chick magnet), but decides to go out adventuring on his own (although we’ll see him next episode). Gabi is thinking about Perdicus and Xena reminds her that the dead can hear the thoughts of the living, so Perdicus will know how much she loved him.

This is a great episode; originally I had it as #12 on my all-time list, but after some re-evaluation, it’s moved up to #10. Originally, this was supposed to be a two-parter, with Callisto dying in the next episode. But Lucy Lawless had an accident doing a stunt on the Tonight Show, so some episodes were rewritten to minimize her participation and Callisto ended up sticking around. I think that works out well in the long run, since Callisto’s antagonism for Xena (and her eventual redemption) adds a lot to the show. This episode is basically about Love vs. Hate: Callisto has given up and has no love to give (as she tells Xena and Theodorus), while Gabi is normally brimming over with love, but temporarily loses that to her despair over Perdicus’s death. Luckily Gabi stays true to herself; her love for Perdicus (and his pacifist ideals) and for Xena (whose faith in Gabi is a mirror of the faith Gabi has always had in her) keep her from straying too far from her own ideals.

Xena’s reluctance to help Gabi lose her loving nature says a lot about their relationship. Of course, Xena herself has no problem with killing and she does let Callisto die in the end. There’s a debate over whether Xena was right to let Callisto die or if she should’ve saved her; personally, I have no problem with Xena letting Callisto die. What was she supposed to do, pull her out of the quicksand and then kill her in a sword duel? How is that any more moral that just letting her sink in the quicksand? Some people might say it would give Callisto a fair chance, but Xena’s already given her numerous chances; she saved her from the mob in Callisto and saved her again at the end, and Callisto ended up killing Perdicus. Xena knows that wouldn’t have happened if she’d let Callisto die earlier, so now she’s not taking any chances. Judging by the look on Xena’s face when Perdicus is killed, she was going to kill Callisto one way or another, to avenge Gabi’s pain. But it really doesn’t matter if Xena was justified (objectively or subjectively) in letting Callisto die; as we’ll see in later episodes (where Gabi and Joxer each kill for the first time), what matters is how Xena feels about it. She feels the guilt for what she did, so in her mind that makes it wrong. We’ll see that more next episode, when Ares and Callisto take advantage of Xena’s guilt to switch bodies with her.

It’s interesting that Callisto told Xena she was going to kill Xena’s soul and then went after Gabi; maybe Callisto sees something there that nobody else has recognized yet. Or maybe Xena is already aware of it; I think Xena may be in love with Gabi at this point. She’s bothered by the thought of Gabi marrying Perdicus and extremely bothered when they actually do get married. I think the kiss Xena gives Gabi (which is not 100% romantic, but definitely not 100% platonic either, at least in my mind) was her only way of expressing her true feelings, since she couldn’t come right out and tell Gabi she’s in love with her without feeling like an asshole for ruining her wedding. And afterwards, Gabi is too distraught over Perdicus’s death for Xena to confess her feelings, so she’ll have to put her love on hold for a while. It could be that Xena is just bothered by losing Gabi as a friend and travelling companion, but that’s not the vibe I get. I think Xena’s in love with her and realizes she missed her chance to admit it. And the fact Xena was willing to put her feelings aside for Gabi’s happiness shows how much she really cares; we’ll see Gabi do the same thing in Ulysses.

Noticeable Things:

• If Callisto is confined in the chair in prison constantly, you’d think she’d be swimming in her own piss and shit. She should have a rash and sores and everything too. I guess that’d be too realistic.
• After the wedding, Gabi hands Xena her bouquet, suggesting Xena will be the next one to get married; Xena just gives her a look and says “Ha ha”.
• Say what you like about Joxer, but he does save Xena and Gabi’s asses in this episode. If he hadn’t distracted Callisto and all her men, Xena never would’ve gotten free from the chair. Joxer may be a goof at times, but he’s got guts (and loyalty) when it counts. Unfortunately, Xena and Gabi will forget that pretty quickly.

Favourite Quotes:

• “You fight with your heart. That gives me advantage over you … I no longer seem to have one.” Callisto feeling Superior to Xena, not realizes it’s Xena’s heart (and Gabi’s) that will see them through.
• “Love is a trick that nature plays to get us to reproduce.” Callisto sharing her philosophy on romance with Theodorus.
• “Please, don’t let that light that shines out of her face go out—I couldn’t stand the darkness that would follow.” Xena praying for Gabi not to become bitter like she did. Since Xena doesn’t trust the Greek gods (and isn’t too familiar with the Israelite god), she’s probably just praying to the Universe in general, hoping something will keep Gabi on the right path.