A Comedy of Eros – Director: Charles Siebert/Writer: Chris Manheim
This one starts with Cupid trying to get his son (Bliss) to go to bed because Cupid’s wife Psyche is in the mood for some lovin’. Cupid finally gets the toddler settled, but as soon as he leaves, Bliss grabs his dad’s bow and arrows and heads down to Earth to have some fun. Xena and Gabi are at a Hestian temple, preparing for an attack by Draco,
who wants to kidnap the Hestian Virgins and sell them into slavery. Xena and Gabi discuss love (and sex), but are interrupted by Joxer, who heard about the imminent attack and came to help. Bliss arrives (invisibly) and starts shooting arrows at random people, causing them to fall in love with the first person (male or female … or in one case, a cow) that they see. Draco shows up just as Xena gets hit by one of Bliss’s arrows, so instead of pounding Draco, she kisses him.
Draco figures Xena’s screwing with him and they fight briefly, but Xena’s in 
love with him so she’s not giving it her all. Gabi knows something’s wrong with Xena (and looks a bit jealous) and figures it out later when Xena’s using a speed-bag to work off her sexual frustration. Gabi’s appalled that Xena’s hot for Draco, but Xena thinks she can change him into a good guy with her love. Xena tries to convince Draco to turn good and join her and he says he’ll consider it, but as soon as she leaves he sets out to kidnap the Virgins. At the temple, Draco grabs Joxer, forcing Gabrielle to surrender to save Joxer’s life.
When he heads into the temple, Draco finds Xena dressed as the head priestess and she tells him she’s disguised the Virgins as regular townspeople, so he won’t know who to kidnap. Outside, Xena frees Gabi and Joxer and we get the first of several big audience fake-outs. Bliss shoots
Gabi with an arrow and it looks like Xena’s going to be the first person she sees (thus falling in love with her), but Joxer steps in front of Xena and Gabi falls for him instead. That suits Joxer just fine, as he seems to already have feelings for Gabi (and his are legit, not caused by Bliss’s arrows). We get another fake-out when we see Xena and Draco’s armour strewn all over and hear some suggestive dialogue, but it turns out they’re just arm wrestling. And the fake-outs continue with 
Gabi and Joxer’s stuff scattered all over and some more suggestive dialogue, but this time Joxer’s just teaching Gabi the Joxer the Mighty song. Xena tries to convince Draco to change sides again and goes for a cold swim when her hormones get the better of her. She and Gabi argue over their sudden infatuations (and which one is worse), but they’re interrupted when Draco goes after the Virgins again. (Apparently, Xena just had the Virgins put on regular clothes over top of their Hestian robes, which seems rather short-sighted of her. Maybe the Virgins aren’t allowed to remove the robes?) Draco and Xena clash again and Gabi intervenes, causing Draco to fall in love with her when Bliss shoots him with an arrow.
They all take refuge in the temple, but Joxer is captured when he goes out to grab a prayer scroll one of the Virgins dropped. (It’s not really clear in the episode, but I’m assuming Joxer thought it was one of Gabi’s scrolls and went out to get it so he’d look heroic in Gabi’s eyes.) Gabi goes out to rescue
him and she gets caught by Draco too, who takes off with both captives. Draco tries to woo Gabi, who’s not interested but lets it slip that she’s in love with Joxer, making him the target of Draco’s wrath. Xena frees Joxer and points out the craziness that’s afflicting everyone lately, likening it to a child’s game. Xena knocks Draco out when he comes to kill Joxer and sends Joxer on an errand. Xena rescues Gabi and takes her back to the temple. Draco shows up and threatens to burn the temple and everyone in it (including Gabi) if he doesn’t get what he wants. Xena says she’s the woman for him, not Gabi, and offers to prove it by turning the Virgins over to him.
Draco sends his men to grab the Virgins (cautioning them not to despoil the merchandise) and Pinullus (the guy Draco’s selling them to) shows up in 
response to a message Draco supposedly sent. The message (actually sent by Xena) says Draco is throwing in a bonus—an Amazon Princess just for Pinullus. Gabi is the Princess and Draco won’t let her go, so he and Pinullus end up fighting, leaving Xena to pound Draco’s men while Gabi gets the Virgins to safety. Draco’s men chase the Virgins, but when Bliss shoots the girls with his arrows, they
get all horny and chase the bandits (who run away because they know Draco will kill them if they bang the Virgins). Xena saves Draco from Pinullus and everyone ends up inside the temple, chasing each other through a bunch of doors in a corridor (which is meant to be a Scooby-Doo reference). Xena tells Draco that Gabi won’t change, so if he really wants her love, he’ll have to change his evil ways. Joxer shows up with Cupid and Xena tells him she’ll keep her mouth shut about this whole mess if he sets things right. Cupid removes Xena’s love for Draco and Gabi’s for Joxer, but is surprised to find 
Joxer’s love for Gabi is genuine. Draco pledges to Gabi that he’ll change his ways and fight evil to win her love and Xena tells Cupid to leave him besotted, since “love suits him”. Later, Xena admits to Gabi that love might be worthwhile after all and Gabi inadvertently breaks Joxer’s heart when she makes light of their infatuation (not realizing that his is real). Xena knows the truth and actually feels bad for Joxer.
This is a really good episode, one of the best of the comedy episodes, which is why I placed it at #22 on my all-time list. As suggested by the title, the mix-ups and misunderstandings are almost Shakespearean and we get to
see everyone acting a little out of character. You can tell the actors were having fun, which usually translates to the audience having fun too. The episode does raise a few questions, like why Xena didn’t bang Draco when she was so hot for him (or why Gabi and Joxer didn’t bang). I think Xena really wanted Draco to turn good and was holding back from consummating the relationship until he did (maybe even using the promise of sex as an incentive). As for Gabi and Joxer, Gabi was certainly willing but maybe some part of Joxer sensed that she wasn’t 
herself and wouldn’t let him go through with it. Or maybe her aggressiveness scared him (he is pretty freaked out when she’s putting the moves on him) and by the time he got past that, it was too late. Some fans might feel cheated that Gabi fell for Joxer instead of Xena, but I’m glad they did it that way. Xena and Gabi’s love should be real and organic, coming from the characters themselves, not some godling’s spell. If Gabi had fallen for Xena because of Bliss, it would have tainted the real feelings she had for Xena and watered down their later romance.
And I think the episode does advance the romance between Xena and Gabi. When they’re first talking about Draco’s attack, it sounds like Gabi is trying to convince Xena not to give up on love (reading between the lines, the love
between the two of them). That fits with my theory that Xena’s been pulling back from her feelings for Gabi over the last few episodes because she’s afraid Gabi will get hurt (either by Xena’s Dark Side, or just emotionally if things don’t work out) if they have a relationship. But Gabi’s obviously willing to take the risk and I think she’s been trying to convince Xena to follow her heart for the last few episodes … and seems to finally get through to her at the end of this one. We’ll see more of their growing relationship next season, at least until the Rift comes along to fuck things up.
This episode also introduces Joxer’s (real) infatuation with Gabi. That’s a thread that’ll continue right into the fifth season, when it’s finally (sort of) 
resolved. I don’t have a problem with Joxer falling for Gabi; she’s sweet but also a good fighter, and she’s usually pretty nice to Joxer (when she’s not slapping him around). Xena is aware of Joxer’s feelings, but obviously doesn’t tell Gabi (who will remain blissfully unaware for years). I’m surprised Gabi didn’t figure it out when Cupid was trying to remove Joxer’s feelings for her, but maybe Cupid was invisible and she might’ve been so dazed from losing her own infatuation that she didn’t hear what Xena was saying. The final scene is actually quite touching and Ted Raimi does a great job of conveying Joxer’s silent heartache. (His “Ha
ha” when agreeing with Gabi that the idea of them as a couple is laughable is heartbreaking.) It’s nice that Xena offers him some sympathy, and it’s fitting since Xena has feelings for Gabi that she’s been trying to hold back lately too (the difference being that Gabi reciprocates those feelings toward Xena). I don’t think Xena sees Joxer as real competition for Gabi since she knows Gabi isn’t interested in him (and she knows Gabi is interested in her). In fact, in future episodes we’ll see Xena giving Joxer advice on how to tell Gabi how he feels about her; obviously Xena doesn’t see him as a threat.
Noticeable Things:
- Draco mentions Xena tricking Zagreus in A Day in the Life.
- When Xena first talks to Draco in his tent, she’s (rather suggestively) eating a banana. Later, when Gabi tells Draco she loves cherries, he leers at her and says “Me too”, which causes her to immediately assert that she’s a widow. I’m surprised that joke got past the censors.
- When Joxer is tied up in the tent, he’s straining at the ropes and when they break he’s really proud … until he realizes Xena cut them.
- We get another example of Xena claiming she has many skills, this time referring to her prowess as a masseuse.
- When Draco asserts his love for Gabi, Xena tries to convince him
Gabi’s all wrong for him, saying (while doing that back-and-forth hand motion that usually indicates something is a little off), “Between you and me, she’s a little …” A little what? Annoying? Weird? Gay? In love with me? I’d love to know what Xena was going to say there. - Xena calls Draco sweetie after knocking him out, then says she’s never used that word before in her life. Some fans are sure Xena calls Gabi “sweetheart” in the reunion scene in A Family Affair in Season 4.
Favourite Quotes:
- “Just between you and me, being chaste can be real hard.” Gabi subtly letting Xena know that she’s in the mood for love.
- “Are you talking about my man?” Gabi letting Xena know not to talk shit about Joxer, in her best Jerry Springer voice.
- “Well, ain’t love a bitch?!” Xena’s reply when Draco gives her shit for
messing up his score and making him look bad in front of his woman (i.e. Gabi). - “Touch me and you will be grist for the Gorgons.” Gabi letting Draco know she’s really not that into him.
- “All I’m saying is that when it’s right, love can be the most potent force in the world.” Gabi trying to convince Xena to take a chance on love again … specifically, on their love for each other.
