Xena Reviews: Season 3, Episode 13

One Against an Army – Director: Paul Lynch/Writers: Gene O’Neill, Noreen Tobin

This one starts with Gabi practicing flips by using her staff as a launching point. She finally succeeds and wants to try a flip without the staff, which results in a sprained ankle and Xena’s disapproval (though Xena earns Gabi’s disapproval by ruining one of her boots with her chakram). While tending the ankle, a guy comes by to tell them about Persians invading. Xena says they have to stop the Persians from reaching Athens or all of Greece will be lost.

Xena sends Pheidippides ahead to warn Athens and tells Gabi they’ll have to slow the Persians down by collapsing the pass at Thermopylae. That’ll force the Persians to divert through Tripolis, where Xena has a stash of weapons left over from her warlord days. She figures the two of them can help the Tripolis militia slow the Persians down. A Spartan soldier attacks them, demanding they give him Argo, but Xena kicks his ass quickly. The Spartan (Dorian) claims he’s going for help, but Xena points out that his sword is in perfect condition. Dorian admits he ran from the Persians and is ashamed of his cowardice. Xena invites him to come along with them and Gabi asks about his life. Dorian talks about his village Missola (which Xena says has a famous waterfall) and his son, hoping the boy never finds out his father is a coward. They run into some Persian scouts and Xena fights them while Dorian just stands there watching. Gabi urges him to either fight or get out of the way, but she ends up getting an arrow through her shoulder. Dorian is whining about his continued cowardice getting Gabi hurt until Xena tells him to give it a rest. She pulls the arrow out of Gabi’s shoulder and realizes it’s poisoned.

Xena cauterizes the wound and tells Gabi they can find antidote at Tripolis. She sends Dorian ahead to tell the Tripolis militia that the Persians will soon be coming through there because the pass at Thermopylae has collapsed. Dorian goes to deliver the message and Gabi asks why Xena lied about the pass. Xena says she knew Dorian wasn’t a real Spartan (because he didn’t have enough calluses on his hands and there is no waterfall at Missola), so she figures he’s a Persian spy. He’ll tell the Persians the pass is blocked, so Xena and Gabi don’t have to actually go and collapse it, giving them time to go to Tripolis and prepare the militia. But when they reach Tripolis, the place is deserted and burnt out by the retreating Greeks … including the apothecary shop, which means no antidote for Gabi. Xena’s ready to say to hell with Athens and just head for Thessaly to get the antidote for Gabi, but Gabi won’t let her abandon the Greeks to their fate. She convinces Xena to go to her weapons stash and mount a defense to slow the Persians long enough for Athens to mobilize. They go to the old mill (or granary) where Xena hid the weapons and prepare to fight the Persians. Gabi tells Xena to leave her if things get too intense, but Xena won’t agree to that. Later, Xena goes out to get herbs and scout the Persians, returning to tell Gabi there are about three or four hundred of them. Gabi’s coughing a lot and Xena sees she’s coughing up blood … the poisoned arrow nicked her lung, which means they won’t have time to slow down the Persians and still get to Thessaly for the antidote.

Xena’s ready to leave right then, but again Gabi talks her out of it, reminding her about the Greater Good. Xena prepares weapons, traps, and boiling oil and tries (unsuccessfully) to harness the telekinetic power she used in Chin. Gabi wakes up delirious, thinking she’s still in Poteidaia and begging Xena not to leave her there. Later, Gabi has a nightmare about Xena being killed while fighting the Persians. The next morning, Xena’s ready to leave again, not willing to see Gabi die. But Gabi talks her out of it again, telling her she accepted the possibility of death a long time ago, when she first chose to follow Xena. Realizing neither she nor Gabi will probably survive, Xena tells Argo to take off. Gabi asks Xena not to worry about her and concentrate on the Persians, but Xena says Gabi is the source of all her strength and courage. Xena carries Gabi into the loft and tells her to dump the boiling oil if the Persians get past her. Gabi warns Xena about the dream she had of Xena getting killed. They say goodbye to each other (and both say “I love you”) and Xena gets ready to fight as the Persians show up outside.

The Persians bust in and Xena starts wasting them left and right. Gabi’s dream almost comes true, but Xena’s ready and kills the guy before he can kill her. She hangs on a chain above the fray and tells Gabi to dump the oil, then busts up through the roof to kill the Persians up there. Dorian is with the Persians and tries to kill Gabi, but Xena stops him. She uses her traps and hidden weapons to even the odds and ends up stabbing Dorian with a poisoned arrow. When she sees him crawling toward a fallen Persian, she realizes the dead soldier has the antidote in his waterskin. She wastes Dorian and grabs the antidote, pounding a few more Persians before telling them “Go home, there are thousands more like me!” They believe her and take off, leaving her to jump up to the loft with the antidote. After pounding a couple of Persian holdouts, Xena gives Gabi the antidote and they both settle down for some much-needed rest. Just before they fall asleep, Gabi reminds Xena she still owes her a new pair of boots.

This is my favourite episode of Xena, it’s #1 on my all-time list, and an absolute classic. I think this is the perfect “gateway” episode to introduce people to Xena; it has humour, drama, danger, Xena kicking ass, and most importantly it illustrates the selfless nature of Xena and Gabi’s relationship perfectly, showing how they care more about each other than they do about themselves. Some people think this is too big a reversal after last episode, but I think it works. Bitter Suite was about Xena and Gabi purging all the negative feelings they had for each other, so once that happened it makes sense that other feelings (like love) would come rushing in to fill that void. As I said, Xena and Gabi are at their best when they’re acting selflessly; the Rift was caused by them forgetting that and being selfish, keeping things from each other. And it wasn’t just the lies they were telling each other, but the fact that they hid their true feelings for each other too. If they’d been more honest about that, maybe the Rift could’ve been avoided. So now they’re being open and honest about everything (Gabi apologizes again for betraying Xena in Chin) including their love for each other, which is why they’re acting so affectionate here.

This episode finally gives us an honest look at Xena and Gabi’s relationship, showing how things would’ve been earlier if the Rift hadn’t happened (and if they’d been more honest about their feelings). Xena keeps trying to save Gabi in opposition to the Greater Good and Gabi keeps talking her out of it. That’ll come back to haunt her in the series finale, but it works here, for both characters. Gabi’s always put others before herself and Xena has always looked to Gabi as an example of selflessness. There are quite a few scenes that make me tear up because there’s so much emotion to them; there’s a really sweet scene right after Gabi’s nightmare about Xena being killed where she wakes up to find Xena’s sleeping beside her and just reaches over to stroke Xena’s hair. I would imagine Gabi’s feeling guilty because if her dream comes true, she’d blame herself for Xena’s death since she talked Xena into staying to fight the Persians. There’s also an interesting line by Xena just before they say their goodbyes when Xena says “All I want is to be with you.” That’s a strange thing to say at that moment, since they’re already together (and were even before the whole Persian invasion thing started) … unless Xena meant it in the physical sense. I’m wondering if they haven’t had a chance to be intimate yet, but maybe they’ve discussed it? The way Xena says it makes me think that might be what she means. For me, there’s no doubt that Xena and Gabi are in love with each other here and have finally decided to let each other know that.

Noticeable Things:

• Gabi trying to master the flip is interesting and supports my theory that Xena is slowly passing on all her skills to Gabi. We never see Gabi practice the flip again, but she must do so because she’s mastered it by the series finale.
• Speaking of sprained ankles, Renee apparently got a real-life sprained ankle when a stuntman jumped through the roof and landed on her foot. The sprain was bad enough that it was still bothering her for the next episode filmed (King Con), although that one was actually aired two episodes after this one, so her ankle is fine next episode. Apparently Lucy hurt her leg getting off a horse, so both of them were limping after this one.
• While demonstrating how she plans to do the flip Gabi uses a toothpick model of Xena, an homage to their stunt coordinator Peter Bell, who used small dolls to illustrate fight sequences.
• The history and geography of this episode are more screwed up than usual. The Persians supposedly land at Marathon, pound the Greeks, and head toward Athens, passing Thermopylae on the way. But Marathon is east of Athens while Thermopylae is way north on the Malian Gulf. And the Battle of Marathon (which the Greeks won) took place in 490 BCE, while Thermopylae took place ten years later. I’ll discuss this more in my season-ending geography post, but it’s obvious that Xena takes place in a different world than ours.
• Xena says she hid her weapons stash at Tripolis three years ago, which would mean it was not long before she met Gabi. I wonder if it was before or after running the gauntlet and getting inspired by Hercules?
• When Dorian is telling his (fake) story, he mentions that his horse went lame and he had to kill it. You can hear Argo neigh right before Gabi says to Xena “Don’t get any ideas.”
• Some fans wonder why Xena didn’t use the Pinch to block the pain when extracting the arrow and cauterizing Gabi’s wound. The writers said it had something to do with Xena needing to be able to track the flow of the poison in Gabi’s body and that the Pinch would’ve interfered with that. (By the way, the arrow-extracting scene is great; Gabi really shows how strong she is and Renee plays it great … you really believe she’s in agony.)
• When Gabi is delirious and thinking she’s back in Poteidaia, the lines she says are from the original script for Sins of the Past. Those lines didn’t make the final cut, but it’s cool to see them used here.

Favourite Quotes:

• “You’ll work it in.” Gabi’s response when Xena promises not to say “I told you so” about the ill-advised flip attempt.
• “I wanna be like you.” Xena’s response when a delirious Gabi says she wants to be just like her.
• “You always said that I was the brave one. Look at you now. If this is to be our destiny, let’s see it out together. Even in death, Gabrielle…I will never leave you.” Xena after Gabi tells her she’s accepted death and isn’t afraid of it.
• “The first thing is the greater good, you taught me that. You taught me that there are things in life worth dying for, things that hold a higher meaning than our own existence.” Gabi reminding Xena of the lesson she taught her back in The Greater Good.
• “But you’re my source, Gabrielle. When I reach down inside myself and do things that I’m not capable of, it’s because of you. Don’t you know that by now? “ Xena letting Gabi know that she’s never been a burden, only an inspiration.