If the Shoe Fits … – Director: Josh Becker/Writers: Adam Armus, Nora Kay Foster
This one starts with Xena waking up late for once, as Gabi is already up and taking a shower in the woods. (Joxer’s there too, but he’s sound asleep.) Xena has to go after a local warlord (Zantar) but she’s out of rope, so she steals Gabi’s shirt while she’s showering. Xena bags Zantar easily, but Gabi is pissed off when she realizes Xena took
her shirt to use as bindings, especially since Gabi is now forced to wear a flour sack. As they drag Zantar off to face justice, they hear an explosion in Aphrodite’s temple and find a girl Xena knows named Alesia. She ran away from home to see Aphrodite, but now considers the Love Goddess her “evil fairy godsmother” because Aphrodite yelled at her.
Xena tells Alesia he’s taking her home, Alesia’s father being an old friend of 
Xena’s, but Alesia doesn’t want to go home because she hates her new stepmother. As they travel, Gabi goes ahead to scout for Zantar’s men while Xena tells Alesia a story about her own (made-up) stepfather. Gabi’s return screws up the story, so Xena asks her to tell Alesia a tale while Xena goes to delay their pursuers. Gabi tells Alesia a story about Tyrella (represented in the accompanying tableau by Gabi), who’s treated like crap by her evil stepmother (Xena) and stepsister (Aphrodite). Meanwhile, Aphrodite is in her temple and admits to herself that she misses Alesia and is kind of having Empty-Nest Syndrome since Cupid grew up. Gabi keeps telling her story, hoping to show Alesia that it’s
good to talk out problems with people you love. But Aphrodite shows up and starts telling her own story, where Tyrella is an ugly goof who gets left out when the Prince’s messenger brings invitations to the ball. Aphrodite’s story takes a sexy turn, with the stepsister coming on to the messenger, but Xena puts a stop to it (just as it was getting good, as Zantar says). Xena offers to cook if Gabi continues the story, but Xena interrupts so much to ask where stuff is that Gabi ends up cooking anyway. Meanwhile, Aphrodite finds Zantar’s men and convinces them to attack Xena and help her get Alesia back.
Joxer takes over the story, making the hero (Tyro) a thinly-disguised version of himself. This time, the evil stepfather and stepbrother (represented by Zantar and his brother Pelio) won’t let Tyro go to the ball because of his crappy clothes and lack of social skills. But his fairy godsmother Harmonia (Xena) gives him new clothes (and social skills), with which he wows everyone at the ball … especially the Princess (Gabi, of course). Joxer’s so wrapped up in his story, he doesn’t
notice that Alesia has wandered off. Xena blames Gabi (who was busy cooking) and goes out to find her. Aphrodite shows up disguised as an old woman, tricking Gabi into going to look for Zantar’s men. After taking Joxer out with a kiss, Aphrodite frees Zantar, who says he can tell her where to find Alesia. Xena searches for Alesia, who’s clinging to a vine on the edge of a cliff.
Xena notices Alesia (I’m not sure why she didn’t yell for help when she heard Xena, but whatever) and saves her. They find Joxer tied up and he tells them Zantar headed for the castle to steal the crown jewels. When Gabi 
returns, Xena blames her again for falling for Aphrodite’s trick. On the way to the castle, Xena tells a story (with herself as Tyrella), but in this one, Tyrella refuses the Prince’s offer of marriage, saying her happy ending is hers to win—or lose—for herself. When Xena has her fairy stepsister (Gabi) doing the dishes while Tyrella goes out to kick ass, the real Gabi gets pissed off and leaves, saying Xena doesn’t appreciate her.
Xena and Joxer find the King and Queen tied up, the jewels having been
stolen by Zantar and his men. Xena releases them and locks Alesia and her stepmom in the bathroom so they can work out their issues and heads out to find Zantar. Gabi finds Aphrodite and gives her a lesson on what love and family is really about, pointing out that Aphrodite only wants Alesia back to make herself feel better, not because it’s best for Alesia. Alesia’s stepmom tries to reach her, 
finishing the story with Tyrella pounding the thieves, which is mirrored in real life as Xena pounds Zantar and his men … helped by Gabi. Later, Aphrodite tells Alesia that her stepmother really does love her, which seems to fix everything. Xena and Gabi make up, with Gabi saying that they’re a family and families sometimes disagree, but the important thing is staying together and working things out.
This is a pretty good episode, currently at #65 on my all-time list, but it could move up a bit. The comedy is quite funny and has the same sort of
vibe as A Day in the Life, where Xena and Gabi sometimes disagree (or even fight) but never stop loving each other, kinda like a married couple. I like how Gabi teaches Aphrodite a lesson here (about how love should be about the other person’s feelings more than your own) and I think this is where their true friendship really starts. My main problem with this episode (other than the 
fact that Alesia’s hatred for her stepmother seems over the top) is the resolution; Gabi was right that Xena doesn’t really appreciate everything she does, but in the end she comes back anyway because they’re family. That’s sweet (and fits Gabi’s character), but I would’ve liked to see Xena actually learn a lesson here and apologize for taking Gabi for granted all the time, especially since she promised to give Gabi more credit for her achievements in Fins, Femmes, and Gems. I guess her blanket apology in Ides of March will have to cover it.
Obviously, this is based on Cinderella and I kinda like the device of having each person tell a story, twisting the tale to suit their own views. Gabi’s story puts herself (or Tyrella) as the victim and has her psychoanalyzing her
stepmom and stepsister’s motives. (Gabi thinks Xena’s callous disregard for her possessions is a way of avoiding intimacy.) But there’s plenty of funny stuff too, like Aphrodite complaining about her Calvinius Kleinius outfit being ruined, Xena telling Tyrella she’s neglected “my clippings” (showing a truly hideous 
foot), and Gabi slapping Joxer around as usual. Joxer’s story plays on his feelings for Gabi (the Princess refers to him as a “hunk of a man”) and we get some great comic touches like Joxer breakdancing, his hourglass wristwatch, and him accidentally taking the Princess’s shoe instead of leaving his own behind when the spell wears off. Aphrodite’s tale casts Gabi as a dimwitted goofball (complete with missing tooth) and Joxer as a Sinatra-type swinger. (Apparently, the
character was originally supposed to a stoner dude like Spiccoli, which Ted Raimi wasn’t happy about. But Josh Becker suggested he do it as a swinging hep cat and Ted loved the idea.) Aphrodite also includes the ubiquitous sexy studs, who Gabi tells Alesia were “swimming instructors”. Xena’s story naturally makes her out to be heroic and not dependent on anyone but herself, but Xena’s forgetting how much she depends on Gabi, which is what pisses the real Gabi off so much.
Noticeable Things:
- I’m assuming Xena’s aborted story about her “stepfather” was bullshit, designed to teach Alesia a lesson. Of course, Gabi screwed it up by not playing along, but how was she supposed to know what Xena was doing?
- At the end, Gabi says she’s been working on a new story about a wooden boy whose nose grows when he’s lying.
- When Gabi first finds her shirt missing, she wonders if an animal
took it, like maybe a “fashionable beaver”. - Throughout the episode, Gabi’s flour sack keeps getting smaller and smaller until it’s almost the size of her usual sports bra shirt.
Favourite Quotes:
- “I was topless.” Gabi explaining why she didn’t wake Joxer after finding out her shirt was gone.
- “No, that would be too cruel.” Xena telling Gabi she’d never use her underwear to tie up the bad guys.
- “That chick is square, baby.” Joxer the swinging messenger talking about Gabi’s dimwitted Tyrella character.
- “You’ll have many skills.” Harmonia the fairy godsmother assuring Tyro/Joxer he’ll have the requisite social skills for the ball … but the way she says it, I can’t help wondering if she didn’t have some other skills in mind as well …
- “Look, you’re the Comet and I’m Ajax. You’re Achilles and I’m your heel.” Joxer offering to be Xena’s sidekick after Gabi leaves.