Coming Home – Director: Mark Beesley/Writer: Melissa Good
This one starts with a band of Amazons stalking some soldiers who are trespassing on their land. Nearby, Xena, Gabi, and Eve have come to Amazon territory after getting a message from Ares. They’re stunned to find huge parts of the forest burnt to the ground. They
find the Amazons already engaged with the soldiers and help run the invaders off. The current queen (Marga) is happy to meet legends like Xena and Gabi, and the Amazons’ top warrior (Varia) thinks Eve looks familiar. Marga tells them the soldiers work for Ares and asks Xena to kill him.
Xena heads to Ares’ camp to see what’s going on, while Gabi and Eve go 
back to the Amazon village. At Ares’ camp, he’s urging his men to defeat the Amazons, but it’s obvious they don’t know that he’s no longer a god (after giving up his immortality to save Gabi and Eve in Motherhood). Xena shows up in Ares’ tent and he mentions that he wants to get the Amazons’ ambrosia to get his godhood back. He asks Xena to get it for him to avoid a big fight, but she urges him to wipe out all the Amazons and take the ambrosia. Gabi arrives, but instead of trying to talk them out of attacking the Amazons, she agrees wholeheartedly. If that seems out of character, it gets worse when Gabi and Xena start coming on to
Ares (which he’s totally cool with, of course). In the Amazon village, Eve recalls slaughtering Amazons when she was Livia and refuses to open up to Varia when she starts asking questions. In Ares’ camp, Eve shows up and joins Xena and Gabi in pushing Ares to attack the Amazons (and in hitting on him). Ares is ready to attack, but when he goes to get ready, we see “Xena”, “Gabi”, and “Eve” are really the Furies.
The Furies convince Ares not to wear armour, and the armourer gets 
confused by Ares’ conversation with the Furies (who are invisible to everyone else), thinking Ares is tossing a bunch of non sequiturs at him. The real Xena and Gabi show up to talk to Ares and quickly realize he’s acting crazy. They immediately suspect the Furies, which makes sense since they’ve both experienced the Furies’ madness at different times. Outside, Ares sees two Xenas and two Gabis, but Alecto convinces him to attack the Amazons after all (probably what he’s
predisposed to do, since he is the God of War). Xena blocks a pass with a rockslide to slow Ares’ army and she and Gabi go back to warn the Amazons. In the village, Eve and Varia bond by comparing scars (and maybe it’s just me, but I get a slight vibe between them) and Varia convinces Eve to show her some fighting moves. Varia recognizes a particular move and realizes her sparring partner is Livia, the Bitch of Rome.
Xena and Gabi get back to the village to find Eve tied up. Gabi is ready to challenge Marga for Eve’s life, but Marga decides to put off Eve’s trial until 
after they deal with Ares. Eve is tied up in a tent and apologizes to Xena and Gabi for slaughtering Amazons and selling them into slavery. Xena tells her she has to forgive herself and Gabi tells Xena the same thing when she apologizes for almost killing Gabi with her chakram. Alecto appears to Ares as Xena and taunts him, pissing him off so much that when the real Xena shows up, he’s ready to kill her and won’t listen when she tries to tell him about the Furies messing with his head.
Even though they’re facing overwhelming odds, the Amazons would rather fight than flee. When the Amazons confront Ares and his army, Xena goads
Ares and punches him. When his men see him bleeding, they realize he’s no longer a god. Ares is so mad he chases Xena, and his men retreat now that they don’t have a god to lead them. Gabi frees Eve from the Amazon camp, telling her they need to help Xena. Xena leads Ares to a frozen pool, where she tosses her chakram at him, but 
it misses and flies off somewhere. Xena and Ares beat the shit out of each other and Xena ends up in the water, trapped under the ice (though I’m assuming she let Ares beat her). When Xena seems to die, the Furies leave Ares’ head and he realizes what he’s done. The chakram comes back and kills all three Furies, but Ares pulls Xena out of the freezing water, despondent that he’s killed the woman he loves. Gabi and Eve show up and Gabi gives Xena mouth-to-mouth (echoing the scene in Doctor in the House 
where Xena did the same for Gabi). Because the cold kept Xena’s body from truly dying, Gabi is able to bring her back, to everyone’s relief. Later, Ares thanks Xena and tries to put the moves on her again. She’s not interested, although she admits there’s always been something between them.
This is an all right episode. Though it’s never been one of my favourites. It’s currently at #116 on my all-time list, but I might move it up a bit, since it’s not that bad and does give us some much-needed closure on some of the stuff that happened in last season’s finale. Apparently, this was the ninth episode produced and it was done because the creators realized they hadn’t addressed anything from Motherhood, like Ares giving up his godhood, or Xena almost killing Gabi.
This episode also sets up some themes that’ll run through the rest of this (final) season. Xena and Gabi are obviously a couple here and consider Eve their daughter; Gabi’s willingness to challenge the Amazons over Eve’s fate will come up in a future episode. And Ares’ quest to regain his immortality isn’t over yet, nor is his involvement with the Amazons.
Varia will become a recurring character and her anger and pride will lead her down a rough path. I really don’t like Varia; it’s nothing against my fellow Canadian (Tsianina Joelson), who plays her really well, but Varia’s constant petulance and anger get old fast (and get worse in future episodes). It’s nice to see the Furies again, this time manipulating Ares into wiping out Xena and the Amazons. Apparently, the
Furies think they can rule humanity once Xena is gone, but I’m not sure why they’d want to. I think Ares fell for the Furies’ ruse so easily because they were offering him everything he wanted: his immortality, Xena’s love, and the chance for wanton slaughter. When they took away those possibilities, it made Ares so crazy he couldn’t think straight.
Noticeable Things:
- Eve tells Varia she doesn’t fight anymore because she follows Eli now, but she does pound a couple of soldiers in the opening fight to keep some Amazons from being killed.
- I’m not sure how much time has passed since last episode, but as we’ll see in upcoming episodes, neither Xena nor Gabi have gone to their respective hometowns yet.
Favourite Quotes:
- “Believe me, you don’t want to make me angry.” Eve paraphrasing the Hulk while warning Varia not to ask too many questions.
- “Aw, can’t get your rocks off?” Alecto (disguised as Xena) taunting Ares about the rockslide that’s holding up his army.
- “You always got to me. But you were bad for me, Ares. You still are.” Xena admitting there’s always been a bond between her and Ares, but pointing out that she’s better off without him.