G.I. Joe Reviews: G.I. Joe 29, G.I. Joe 30

GIJoe 029 coverG.I. Joe #29 (November 1984) – “Beached Whale” – Larry Hama/Frank Springer/Andy Mushynsky

Last issue, the Joes ran into trouble with Cobra down in Florida and got their brand new Killer Whale hovercraft all shot up. This issue starts with them pulling the Whale into a secluded cove to do some repairs and evacuate Deep Six, who was wounded last issue. The repairs can’t be too fancy, mostly just patchwork (literally, since they’re using bicycle tire kits to fix bullet holes in the rubber) and a bit of welding on some of the armour plate. Meanwhile, Destro and Firefly areintroducing Crimson Guard trying to make their way out of the swamp after being abandoned by Cobra Commander last issue. They both want revenge, but have to find a way back to Springfield first. They find an alligator poacher and “borrow” his boat, heading for the cove since it’s the closest place to get an ocean-worthy boat. In Springfield, Cobra Commander has returned to a triumphant welcome and goes straight into mad dictator mode, giving a very Nazi-esque speech about how Cobra will take over the country financially, as well as militarily. (I get the feeling Larry Hama has a low opinion of unfettered capitalism … he even references the “greed is good” line from Wall Street.) Cobra Commander stealing the Killer Whaleintroduces his newest weapon, the Crimson Guard (or CGs aka Siegies), who are trained soldiers but operate as accountants and lawyers in their civilian identities, worming their way into the fabric of American life. Basically, it’s a covert army of Yuppies. The crowd goes wild but we do see one person who’s not happy … Billy, the kid who helped some Joes escape Springfield and who wants revenge for Cobra ruining his family. In Florida, Destro and Firefly sneak up and take over the Killer Whale, beating the shit out of Cutter. They take off through town (the Whale is a hovercraft, so it can go over land as well as water), pursued closely by Wild Bill and Duke in theemergency landing Dragonfly helicopter. Destro is taking a short cut to try for open water where the Whale will be able to get away, but Cutter gets back to the Joe ship and steers it over land (on hydrofoils!) to head Destro off. The Whale looks to be caught, but Destro blasts the chopper with his wrist rockets and Wild Bill has to make an emergency landing on the deck of the ship. In the confusion, Firefly gets an idea on how he and Destro can escape. The Joes come after the Killer Whale, which launches a couple of depth charges. The charges are too wide to slow the Joe ship, which swallows up the Whale bomb disposaleasily. But when they check the Whale, Destro and Firefly are gone and there’s a bomb rigged to detonate in a few seconds. Trip Wire tries to do a Captain America and fall on the bomb, but Roadblock tosses it through a vent where it detonates topside, doing much less damage. The Joes realize Destro and Firefly were inside the depth charge canisters, but the shrimping fleet has embarked so there’s no way to mount an effective search. We see Destro and Firefly have stolen a shrimp boat and are already planning their return to Springfield. This was a pretty cool issue, showing how resourceful Destro and Firefly can be. It’s nice to see that Cobra are a worthy enemy, not just a bunch of dimwits who are there to get pounded all the time. And I’m glad to see the Killer Whale getting some action, as it was the first big G.I. Joe toy I had when I was a kidboat chase (and I still have it). We also get the first appearance of the Siegies (specifically the one named Fred Broca and his typical American family), who will be a big part of Cobra’s plans for a while. We also see Billy again, who will be a key figure in the upcoming assassination plot against Cobra Commander, and who will turn out to have some major secrets of his own. And we get some of Larry Hama’s trademark humour, with the brief return of the hick sheriff and deputy from last issue, and Duke and Wild Bill having a friendly argument during a crisis.

GIJoe 030 coverG.I. Joe #30 (December 1984) – “Darkness” – Larry Hama/Frank Springer/Andy Mushynsky

This one starts at McGuire Air Force Base in New Jersey, where Zartan and the Dreadnoks (Buzzer, Torch, and Ripper) are hanging out for some reason. They see the Dragonfly land with wounded Joes on board and decide to take a closer look. Zartan uses his chameleon ability to become Hawk and gets close enough to the wounded Joes to confirm it’s them. Not too far away, on Staten Island, undercover Crimson Guardsman Fred Broca and his “average American family” have just bought a nice house in the suburbs, which just happens to be right down the street from Fort Wadsworth, site of the Joes’ secret headquarters. (Cobra doesn’tfake Hawk know the Pit is located beneath the Chaplain’s Assistants Motor Pool at Wadsworth, but since there was a firefight there before, they probably want to monitor the place for suspicious activity.) Near McGuire, Zartan phones Cobra Commander from an abandoned gas station to let him know about the Dragonfly and the Commander remembers that the flight that took him to the Rockies originated at McGuire, so he figures Joe headquarters might be there and orders Zartan and company to watch the base. The Brocas are unpacking their weaponry and surveillance gear and are too busy to notice the ambulances zooming by on Billy caughtthe way to Fort Wadsworth. When Doc sees Hawk in the Pit he mentions just seeing him at McGuire and they realize it must’ve been an impostor, since Hawk has been at headquarters all day. Cobra Commander decides McGuire really is the location of Joe headquarters and moves a bunch of heavy artillery (using a front called the Arbco Brothers Circus) towards the base in preparation for a full-scale assault. Back in Springfield, Billy is going through the files at the Arbco office when he’s caught by Baroness and Major Bludd. Instead of killing him, Baroness decides to recruit him for their plot against Cobra Commander. Now that Cobra Commander has found Joe headquarters (or so he thinks), the BrocasBrocas mad are recalled to Springfield, which pisses them off since they just spent ten hours setting up surveillance equipment that they now have to get rid of. Again they’re too distracted to notice a number of Joe vehicles leaving Fort Wadsworth and heading for McGuire. Zartan sends the Dreadnoks to open a hole in the fence around McGuire, since Cobra Commander wants to try subtlety this time. But the Dreadnoks prefer mayhem and decide to go into the base and start destroying Joe equipment, figuring it’ll be fine as long as they don’t blow anything up. Of course, they do end up causing an explosion, which alerts the soldiers on Dreadnok rampageduty and screws up Cobra Commander’s attempts to get in quietly. Cobra goes in with all guns blazing while the Dreadnoks take off, knowing Cobra Commander will be pissed off at them. They run right into the Joes, who let them go to engage the Cobras. The Joes manage to take out most of the Cobras, but Cobra Commander gets away under cover of the fires and explosions. The issue ends with Destro and Firefly returning to New York, still planning their revenge on Cobra Commander. This is a pretty good issue, where we see some more on the assassination plot and (I think) the first mention of Cobra’s fake company, Arbco Brothers. As I mentioned before I’m a big Dreadnoks fan, so it’s nice to finally see them get to do something (although they come offMcGuire assault looking pretty stupid for disobeying orders and ruining Cobra Commander’s plans). It also takes some of the bite out of them when their worst form of debauchery is grape soda and chocolate-covered donuts, but I guess Jack Daniels and cocaine wouldn’t fly in a comic aimed at kids. By the way, this isn’t the last we’ll see of the Brocas either.

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