G.I. Joe Reviews: G.I. Joe 33, G.I. Joe 34

G.I. Joe #33 (March 1985) – “Celebration” – Larry Hama/Frank Springer/Andy Mushynsky

This one starts with General Austin arriving at the Pit before the big opening ceremony. We see Snake Eyes, Airborne, and Spirit in the infirmary recovering from their adventure in the High Sierras last issue. When Scarlett comes in to talk to Snake Eyes (after having a long conversation with the Soft Master), Airborne figures he and Spirit should give the two lovebirds some privacy … but Spirit is already gone. Spirit is at a nearby mall with Ripcord and Blowtorch, looking for some herbs to help heal his wounds because he believes natural healing is sometimes better than modern medicine. While tasting some plants in a florist’s shop, Spirit sees Fred Broca and his family pass by outside and is curious, since he saw Fred killed and buried in the mountains last issue. (Of course, we know that Cobra replaced Fred with an identical copy, which is kinda freaking out his family, but Spirit has no way of knowing that.) In Springfield, Major Bludd and Baroness are coaching Billy on how to best approach Cobra Commander during the upcoming rally so Billy can get close enough to shoot him. Destro is aware of their plot and doesn’t interfere, but isn’t happy that Baroness is involved. When she accuses him of not trusting her, he takes off his mask and shows her his face (which we can’t see) and she immediately faints. Back at the mall, Spirit confronts Fred, who obviously doesn’t recognize him, and Fred’s wife and kids knock Spirit down so they can all take off. At the Pit, Roadblock shows off his culinary skills and Gung Ho complains about the lack of help decorating, while Clutch tries to talk Cover Girl into partnering up with Scarlett as a mud-wrestling team. (She says no, in case you were wondering.) At the mall, Fred’s wife blows up the Vamp with a grenade, but lucky for the Joes a friendly bear just happens to be passing in a van and offers them a lift. Yes, it’s Bongo the Balloon Bear, available for parties, weddings, and bar mitzvahs—and destined to become a very important character for a while. In Springfield, Storm Shadow shows Cobra Commander all the security precautions he’s put in place, while Destro and Baroness discuss the assassination plan. Meanwhile, the Joes chase Fred and family through the streets, but all the mayhem is too much for Bongo, who bails out and says they can take the van as long as they bring it back later. In Springfield, Cobra Commander pontificates at the rally and Billy gets close enough to take his shot, but Destro recognizes Billy and stops him, also stopping Storm Shadow from killing him. Cobra Commander is ready to waste Billy right there, but Destro reveals that Billy is the Commander’s son. Back in New York, having lost Fred and family, Ripcord, Spirit, and Blowtorch take Bongo’s van to the Pit and release all the balloons just in time for the opening ceremony. Afterwards, General Austin announces that all the original Joes have been promoted and will now be the administrative arm of the team, meaning they’ll be self-supporting, with Hawk (also newly-promoted) as their full commander. Those Joes aren’t thrilled about getting desk jobs, but they don’t complain too much. Outside, Fred and family return home and Ripcord takes the van back to where Bongo is waiting. He’s surprised to find out there’s a very attractive woman in the bear suit and agrees to take her to dinner. This was the first issue of G.I. Joe I ever read, so it always feels like a special one to me. I’m not sure why I picked it up way back then; maybe I liked the cover, maybe there were no superhero comics out that week, or maybe I’d seen the Joes on TV and wanted to read about them. I soon learned the comic was more sophisticated than the cartoon, with Machiavellian plots, people getting wounded, and actual character depth. I kind of lucked out back then because this is something of a pivotal issue. We see the culmination of the assassination plot and the revelation that Billy is Cobra Commander’s son, the opening of the new Pit, and the introduction of Bongo the Balloon Bear, aka Candy Appel (hey, I didn’t come up with the name), who will become Ripcord’s girlfriend for a while before meeting a tragic end. I must not have been too impressed with this issue at the time, since I didn’t buy another one until #38 … but maybe I was just confused by everything that was going on.

G.I. Joe #34 (April 1985) – “Shakedown” – Larry Hama/Rod Whigham/Andy Mushynsky

This issue is basically one long dogfight between Ace and Lady Jaye in the Skystriker and Wild Weasel and Baroness in the Rattler. The set-up is that both planes have been modified and both women need some upgraded flight training, so the experienced pilots are taking both of them up for a shakedown cruise. Naturally, they run into each other and engage in a long drawn-out duel, using their wits and natural flying skills as much the technology to try to defeat each other. The two women are basically our proxies, there so Ace and Wild Weasel can explain their tactics to the readers without having to monologue to themselves. This is a really good issue, but I won’t go into a page by page description of everything that happens, since I wouldn’t be able to do it justice and it would just turn into a long list of exposition. I will say that neither of the women come off very well, alternating between freaking out and being belligerent, but I guess that’s just to highlight the cool efficiency of the two pilots. Larry Hama has obviously done his homework (or just knows a lot about planes), as he manages to get across a lot of the technical stuff and tactics without making it sound like a lecture. I also like the way the story ends, with both planes too damaged to continue the fight and their pilots saluting each other before heading home.