G.I. Joe Reviews: G.I. Joe 43, G.I. Joe 44

G.I. Joe #43 (January 1986) – “Crossroads” – Larry Hama/Rod Whigham/Andy Mushynsky

Last issue, Stalker and Snake Eyes were at the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington, D.C. to look up their dead war buddies. But one name was missing, that of Wade Collins. The two Joes got a surprise when Fred II (a Crimson Guardsman working for Cobra) stepped out of the shadows with a gun to tell them that he was Wade Collins, given a new face and name by Cobra. Fred (or Wade, I guess) says he’s taking them back to New York with him and forces Snake Eyes to drive. Wade is pissed off about being left for dead by his supposed friends, but Stalker says there was no way they could’ve known Wade was still alive. We get a flashback as Wade recounts things from his perspective, telling us how they walked into an NVA camp where he and two others were shot or blown up, while Stalker, Snake Eyes, and Storm Shadow retreated. Wade then tells them how the NVA took him prisoner, extracting the bullets from him before tossing him into a POW camp that was hell on Earth, where he spent two years. He says he’d have preferred it if Stalker and the others had finished him off instead of leaving him for the North Vietnamese. Meanwhile, not too far outside Springfield, the truck Candy appropriated from Buzzer has broken down, so she ends up hitching a ride with the half-drunk salesman who dropped the Soft Master off in Springfield. When she finds Soft Master’s suitcase on the seat, the salesman realizes who it belongs to and Candy suggests they head back to Springfield to give it to him. Buzzer has hopped a train to get back to Springfield, which he finds curiously empty except for Firefly and a new Cobra named Scrap Iron. The Soft Master is still at Springfield police station trying to find out who killed his brother, the Hard Master, but the cops aren’t being very cooperative. On the highway heading to New York, Wade tells his old LRRP buddies how he was released from the POW camp at the end of the War, but his homecoming wasn’t as sweet as he’d expected. The hippies hated him, his wife divorced him, and nobody wanted to hire vets because they had a bad rep (or maybe just reminded everyone how America had lost its first war). But when Wade stumbled upon the nascent Cobra organization, he finally found somewhere he belonged, a place that made him feel like his life mattered. In Springfield, Soft Master finds out who killed his brother (although we don’t get to see who it is yet), but he has to fight his way out through a bunch of cops. Buzzer, Firefly, and Scrap Iron are outside when Soft Master steals a cop car and takes off, so they chase him. Meanwhile, Billy has been hitchhiking to Springfield and ends up in the same car as Candy and the now-drunk salesman. Soft Master’s escape coincides with their return to Springfield and he manages to evade his Cobra pursuers by zipping across a railroad track just before a train shows up. Unfortunately, the drunk salesman loses control and crashes his car, so Soft Master decides to stay and help the passengers instead of taking off. Scrap Iron climbs a telegraph pole and when he tries to blow the car away, Soft Master takes the hit. Scrap Iron then blasts the car with Billy, Candy, and the salesman to pieces. In Staten Island, Stalker and Snake Eyes have convinced Wade to return home and ask his “family” if they’re willing to leave with him and try to have a new life somewhere Cobra can’t find them. He isn’t sure they’ll accept, but they love the idea and the Collins family drives off together as Stalker and Snake Eyes watch. This is another issue I had as a kid, so I’ve read it many times. The Vietnam flashbacks were powerful and sobering, as were Wade’s memories of returning to civilian life. I know Larry Hama served in Vietnam, so I can’t help wondering how much of that is from his own experiences and how much was just the general feel of the times. The mystery of the Hard Master’s killer will have to go on a bit longer, but we do see the fate of Soft Master, Candy, and Billy (although we will see one of those three return in future issues …) We also get the first appearance of Scrap Iron, who doesn’t show up much in the comic and never really gets much of a personality, but I had the action figure and always thought he looked cool.

G.I. Joe #44 (February 1986) – “Improvisation on a Theme” – Larry Hama/Rod Whigham/Andy Mushynsky

After all the momentous events of last issue, this story is definitely filler, notable mostly for introducing a bunch of new characters and vehicles. The story starts with Lady Jaye running some new Joes (Crankcase, Bazooka, Heavy Metal, and Airtight) through a training session in the Nevada desert. They do pretty well and head back to town to relax. (We learn that Airtight is a bit of a geek who likes to collect live scorpions.) On the highway, the Joes run into (literally) some androids with bio-weapons on their backs that shoot out fast-growing plant spores which turn into creeper vines that completely envelop the Joes. The spores give off a gas that knocks the Joes out and they’re quickly captured by Cobra. The mastermind behind the plant spores is Dr. Mindbender, a former psychologist turned super-villain who’s trying to convince Destro and Baroness to buy his mad scientist creations for Cobra. Destro is skeptical, so Mindbender has brought the unconscious Joes to a scrapyard where he’s put them into a maze to test his androids and spores against them. Of course, it won’t be a fair fight since he’s taken every weapon they have away from them, down to the last road flare. When the Joes wake up and see androids on motorbikes and a truck full of mutant plant spores coming at them, Lady Jaye decides they’d better try to fight back somehow. She uses finesse to drive her motorbike between the oncoming androids, while Heavy Metal opts for brute force, smashing his tank through the walls of scrap and leaving the androids to crash into each other. Destro and Mindbender are in a van observing the running fight and Lady Jaye goes right over top of them with her motorbike. (In case you’re wondering, the van is sealed and has been treated with some kind of herbicide by Mindbender, so the spores won’t come near it.) After taking out more androids in Cobra vehicles, the Joes regroup to come up with a new strategy, planning to scavenge what they need from the scrapyard to help. Destro is getting impatient, so Mindbender brings out a truck loaded with enough spores to take down a small city. The Joes use jury-rigged filter masks and battery acid to take out the plant spores and Lady Jaye employs a magnetic crane to grab one of Mindbender’s trucks. But the big truck loaded with spores is still intact and Mindbender prepares to release them as the Joes approach. But the Joes have a plan: Airtight tosses his box of scorpions through the windshield of the van, causing Destro and Mindbender to jump out, while Heavy Metal slingshots a pile of batteries at the spore truck, blowing it up and burning all the spores. Baroness rescues Destro and Mindbender with a FANG helicopter and Lady Jaye tells the new Joes they’ve earned their spot on the team. As I said above, this issue is basically just filler, meant to introduce some new characters and vehicles and provide a break from the main storyline. We get the first appearances of Bazooka, Airtight, Crankcase, Heavy Metal, Dr. Mindbender, and the BATs (Battle Android Troopers). We also see the AWE Striker jeep, the Mauler tank, and the Silver Mirage motorcycle, none of which I had as a kid. Some fans hate Dr. Mindbender, finding him too cartoony and less realistic than other Cobra villains, but he will stick around and make quite a few appearances in future issues.