G.I. Joe Reviews: G.I. Joe 67, G.I. Joe 68

GIJoe 067 coverG.I. Joe #67 (January 1988) – “Cold Snap” – Larry Hama/Ron Wagner/Randy Emberlin

This one starts with Stalker, Snow Job, and Quick Kick coming home after the rescue mission in Borovia last issue. They land at the new Pit in Utah and are welcomed back by everyone, but Outback is worried they’ll be pissed off because he left them behind and escaped alone, even though that’s exactly what Stalker ordered him to do. Stalker and the others set him straight and Outback shows what a good guy he is by not mentioning how shitty the other Joes have been to him about the whole thing. Snake eyes and Scarlett are back too and manage not to beFlint and Lady Jaye disciplined for their unauthorized rescue mission thanks to some doubletalk from Psyche-Out. Flint and Lady Jaye aren’t happy about Snake Eyes and Scarlett faking their deaths to go on the mission, but that soon turns into a declaration of love from Lady Jaye (although we’ve all seen that coming for a long time). In the fictional country of Frusenland, Cobra is trying to convince the Prime Minister (Volff) to buy more Terror Dromes. But he’s not radical (or paranoid) enough to think the country needs them, especially since he’s just signed a treaty with the United States to lease them Arctic bases and weapons testing sites. Dr. Mindbender and Baroness mention internal dissent, but Volff doesn’t think the hunters and herders of Frusenland will Storm Shadow's philosophyrise up any time soon. But it turns out Cobra has stacked the deck in their favour. They’ve installed paranoia wave transmitters (from plans acquired from the Russians by Kwinn way back in issue 2) in every Terror Drome they’ve ever sold, so when they turn the transmitters on the local populace gets angry and starts fighting each other, thus insuring the need for the government to buy weapons from Cobra to put down the revolution. The plan works perfectly as the people of the capital (Frusenhagen) start rioting immediately. (The Cobras are protected from the paranoia waves by sound-dampening headgear.) Prime Minister Volff quickly signs an agreement to buy weapons from Cobra as the world watches the chaos in Frusenland get worse. In San Francisco, Storm Shadow, Jinx, Billy, and Blind Master are watching when a punk kid tries to steal Jinx’s purse. Blind Master stops himOutback a stand-up guy but instead of letting him be arrested, he hires the kid as a guide around the city. Billy wonders why and Storm Shadow gives him some philosophical talk about honour, although he seems much more cynical about governments. I think this is Larry Hama’s voice coming through here. This is a pretty good issue, although technically not a lot is happening. We get a look into Hama’s mind with Storm Shadow’s speech and we finally get the big secret of the Terror Dromes. It’s cool to see Stalker and the others back home (apparently they spent five months in the labour camp) and Outback showed what a stand-up guy he is when he didn’t let Stalker know that the rest of the Joes have been treating him like shit all that time.

GIJoe 068 coverG.I. Joe #68 (February 1988) – “Cut and Freeze Dried” – Larry Hama/Ron Wagner/Randy Emberlin

This one starts with the Joes landing some equipment and personnel in Frusenland. They’re just there to protect the American bases that have already been set up, but Baroness doesn’t want them screwing up another Cobra operation, so se attacks them at the airport. The Joes manage to get clear and move out into the tundra to regroup, but Prime Minister Volff is pissed off that Cobra has fired on Americans. Dr. Mindbender points out that since Cobra are working for Volff, anything they do is technically his responsibility, even if that extends to starting a war with the United States. Cobra Commander (who’s actually Crimson Guardsman Fred VII in disguise) almost blows his cover, but gets a reprieveBlaster figures things out when he has to lead a flight of Mambas against the Joes. We get our first look at Battleforce 2000 (Blaster, Blocker, Dodger, Avalanche, Knockdown, and Maverick) the team assigned to Frusenland to test various weapons for the Army. When his teammates start acting like assholes and fighting each other, Blaster (who’s constantly blasting heavy metal on his headphones) realizes some kind of signal must be causing the aggressive behaviour, explaining the sudden uprising in Frusenland. The team finds a way to block the signal and starts looking for the source. Meanwhile, the Joes engage with Cobra on an ice shelf and both sides core some hits, but the Joes are about to be obliterated when Battleforce 2000 shows up to save their asses and explain about the paranoia waves. Duke goes to let Prime Minister Volff know Joes fighting Cobrawhat’s happening and the Joes jam the signal from the Terror Dromes, which makes the citizens stop rioting. Volff signs an agreement with the United States and tells Cobra to get the hell out of his country. This is a pretty good conclusion to the Frusenland story, although it’s mostly just a showcase to introduce Battleforce 2000, which was a major addition to the toy line at the time. We also get our first look at Backstop and his mobile laser cannon, as well as the Snowcat (another toy which I actually own) and Iceberg. The main thing to come out of this issue is that the secret of the Terror Dromes is now out, so that’ll put a crimp in Cobra’s sales, since every dictator who’s ever bought a Drome now knows why their citizens are so rebellious.

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