G.I. Joe Reviews: G.I. Joe Special Missions 17, G.I. Joe 82

Special Missions 017 coverG. I. Joe Special Missions #17 (January 1989) – “All in a Night’s Work” – Larry Hama/Herb Trimpe/Andy Mushynsky

This one starts with Dusty waking up four Joes (Muskrat, Shockwave, Hardball, and Hit & Run) to tell them they have a mission. They meet up with the team leader for the mission (Stalker) who fills them in en route. Armed gunmen have taken over the headquarters of Nexustech, a company in Siliconville, California that makes microchips and other high-tech stuff for the government. Local and federal law authorities are in a pissing contest over jurisdiction, so they probably won’t be much help, and the building is built like a bunker, so it’ll hard to get in without endangering the hostages. In Siliconville, Scarlett and Sneak Peek are already on scene trying to gather as much info as possible on the terrorists. But Mortimer, the local policeSaxon saves Mortimer chief (urged on by Wendell Freen, owner of Nexustech), decides to have his men assault the building. Most of them are cut down and the FBI agent assigned to the case (Saxon) has to go through a hailstorm of bullets to pull Chief Mortimer back to safety. Scarlett notices that Freen seems more concerned about saving the intellectual property in the building than the lives of his employees. Inside, we see Cobra is behind the whole thing, with Scrap Iron directing a Toxo-Viper and a Techno-Viper in their efforts to burn into the building’s vault, protected by some weird sounding “terrorists” in ski masks. When the rest of the Joes arrive, Scarlett and Sneak Peek brief them and they prepare their assault. Saxon lets Stalker know that the Feds have blasting a BATbeen investigating Nexustech for a while, so the “hostages” might not be what they seem. Stalker is suspicious of Saxon and how much he knows about what’s really going on, but the Joes go ahead with the assault anyway. Inside, the Cobras get into the vault and photograph plans for a top secret missile guidance system. The Toxo-Viper seals the microfilm in a watertight canister and swallows it, as he and the other two Cobras change into lab coats so they look like hostages. They clean up by burning their Cobra uniforms, the camera, and all of Nexustech’s financial records with thermite. The Joes deal with the terrorists (who turn out to be Cobra BATs) and rescue the “hostages”, but Stalker knows something’s fishy so he sends the “hostages” to the hospital to be x-rayed. Naturally, that will ruin the unexposed microfilm in the Toxo-Viper’s gut. Stalker gives Saxon shit (and a knee to the balls), lettingStalker tells Saxon what he thinks him know that he doesn’t appreciate the Feds trying to use the Joes as scapegoats to cover up their own screw-up. Later, the Joes find out that Freen was ripping off the government and hired Cobra to destroy his records under cover of the hostage taking, with the missile plans as their payoff. But Cobra ratted Freen out once they no longer had the plans and Saxon was trying to use the Joes to cover his own ass, since he should’ve moved on Freen earlier. This is a pretty good story with a different setting, although the bad guy ends up being Cobra again. The assault was pretty cool and I like how Stalker figured out they were being used and let Saxon know he wasn’t happy about it.

GIJoe 082 coverG.I. Joe #82 (January 1989) – “Weeding Out” – Larry Hama/Marshall Rogers, Don Hudson/Randy Emberlin

This issue gives us a look at the training involved in actually becoming a Joe, as we follow a number of recruits going through a brutal regimen designed to weed out the unqualified. (One of the recruits is Lightfoot, who we saw in Special Missions 13; after being wounded on that mission, he had to re-apply and do the training all over again.) Besides the incredibly gruelling physical training, the Joes are subjected to enforced discipline over everything (they even have to eat in unison) and made to watch mind-numbingly boring training films to assess their ability topugil stick melee concentrate under duress. From a couple thousand applicants, the numbers are whittled down to about twenty, the washouts being sent to remote postings around the world as punishment. The potential Joes are chosen by throwing all the remaining recruits into a pugil-stick battle royale and seeing who’s standing at the end of it. That turns out to be Lightfoot, Repeater, and Budo, who are treated to a huge banquet and told they can sleep in tomorrow. Repeater is suspicious of the good treatment, so when they’re woken up in the middle of the night, he figures it’s another training thing even though everyone insists it’s for real. Apparently something’s going on at the Budo wasting VipersPickatinny Arsenal and these Joes (with Grand Slam in charge) are part of a recon team sent to find out what’s going on. Turns out Cobra has stolen some weapons from the arsenal and the Joes are told to hold the road at all costs to prevent them from getting away. Repeater still thinks it’s all a training test, even when Grand Slam gets shot by some Vipers. The new Joes manage to take out a squad of Vipers sent to hold the road and attack a truck with some stolen weapons when it tries to get out. Lightfoot jumps on the truck but gets kicked off and the truck is picked up by a chopper. It doesn’t get too far, as Lightfoot planted a mine on the truck that blows it and the chopper to hell. Lightfoot also noticed that the Vipers were actually Iron Grenadiers inblasting the chopper disguise, so it looks like Destro was actually behind the attempted theft. Repeater is still suspicious, saying the Joes could’ve leaked info to Destro so they could use the whole scenario as a training exercise. This issue has Full Metal Jacket vibes (without the cursing and suicide), as we see a brutal training regimen and then the new recruits in action for the first time. It seems almost impossible to become a Joe, but I guess that’s necessary since they are supposed to be the best of the best.

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