Lost Girl Reviews: Season 2, Episode 5

Lost GirlEpisode 5: Brother Fae of the Wolves

This episode starts with Bo and Kenzi following Dyson around, begging him to help them with a case. They need him to use his super-sniffer to figure out whose blood is on a shirt they found. Kenzi makes him less cooperative by pointing out that he’s a policeman who’s also his own police dog. He finally tells them the blood is from awet dog cow, which gets Kenzi speculating about the wife in the case running off with a butcher. Dyson gets a strange scent and heads off down an alley where he’s jumped by some dude. They fight, snarl, and growl until Bo turns a water hose on them, giving us some male on male slashfic inspiration instead of the usual lesbian erotica. Turns out the snarly guy is Cayden, an old pack-mate of Dyson’s and attacking him was just a greeting. I think I’d prefer a simple handshake.

At the Dal, Dyson continues bonding with Cayden; when I say bonding, I mean they arm wrestle and howl at each other. As Kenzi says, “It’s either something vaguely bi-curious or they’re just hungry.” Trick tells them Dyson and Cayden ran together in a pack of shifters a few hundred years ago, when they fought for their king. We get a flashback (the first of many) and Trick says Dyson’s wolf pack were mercenaries who bound olde tyme Dysonthemselves to a king way back when. But Dyson left the pack for some reason (Kenzi: “What happens in the pack stays in the pack.”), which is strange since wolves are very loyal and usually serve their king until he dies. So, why is Cayden here now? He tells Dyson the king died a few months ago. Cayden tells Dyson about all the fun he missed, running with the Fenians, selling surplus arms during WW I, and founding a mercenary company called Majestic. Now that the king is dead, Cayden says he’s moved on to freelance merc stuff, though some of the other lads stayed with Majestic. He also gives Dyson shit for his “North American” accent. Dyson asks about someone named Ciara; of course there’s a woman involved in all this.

We get more flashbacks as Cayden says Ciara blew herself to shit with a grenade after the king’s death. Dyson can’t believe it, but Cayden says he’s a bit biased. The flashbacks show Ciara was some kind of healer for the pack, not to mention being the wife of Dyson’s best friend, Stefan. Of course, that didn’t keep Dyson from … noticing her. But he told Cayden he’d never betray Stefan. Anyway, Stefan gets a summons from the king and rides off. Back in the present, Bo gets a call from Lauren and she andLauren worried Kenzi head home. Lauren is there, freaking out because the Ash has decreed that all humans are to be locked in their living quarters when not working. Lauren was so freaked she came to Bo’s place without the Ash knowing, but now she’s worried Bo and Kenzi will get in trouble for sheltering her. Bo doesn’t care and is ready to tear the Ash a new one. Kenzi’s a bit more reticent. At the Dal, Cayden tells Dyson he’s in town looking for a weapon, a Fae WMD that “makes a warhead look like Lazer Tag”. He says it came in by ship just a few days ago and wants Dyson to help him find it. Dyson says the docks are Dark Fae territory, which means he can’t enter … but he knows someone who can.

They go to see Bo and Cayden makes things awkward (on purpose, of bringing the awkwardcourse; I get te feeling he enjoys the awkward). He says he’s looking for a Mongolian Death Worm (which I guess counts as  WMD for Fae) that was stolen a while back. Kenzi asks what it can do besides moving slowly and drying out on the sidewalk. Lauren explains it has an electricity-based attack that turns people to goo. Cayden says some North African dictator is already interested and Dyson knows there are plenty of Fae scumbags who’d love to get their hands on it. He says they think a Fae arms dealer at the docks may know something and Lauren points out that the docks are Dark Fae territory. Hence the favour Dyson wants from Bo. She talks to the arms dealer (whose cover seems to be a furniture store) and he figures out she’s the unaligned succubus he’s heard so much about. She asks about the Death Worm and he hints he might be able to help. Across the street, Dyson and Cayden are watching (I thought Dyson couldn’t enter Dark Fae territory? Or maybe he just can’t be seen there?) and Dyson’s worried about Bo. Even though the Norn took his love, he still seems to have some feelings toward her.

We get another flashback, with Dyson telling Stefan he’s worried about him. Stefan has been commanded to take the king’s new battle plans across enemy territory—alone. Gee, that’s not suspicious at all. Dyson thinks so too, but Stefan is the king’s man all the way and does what he’s told. Dyson offers to go with him, but that wasn’t part of the orders. So Dyson goes to the Norn for help and she asks for his wolfiness in return for saving Stefan. Dyson turns her down, which she seems to find hilarious. In the present, the arms dealer (whose name is Cumberbatch,Bo shot though he looks nothing like Dr. Strange) leads Bo into a trap. Dyson and Cayden are watching outside and Cayden decides to go in and see what’s keeping Bo. Dyson tells him he can’t break the rules, but Cayden says rules are for suckers. Cumberbatch shoots Bo in the hand with some weird dart that hurts like a motherfucker and just as he’s about to finish her, Cayden comes in and kicks his ass. Cumberbatch tries to make a deal with them, which tells them he never had the Death Worm but may have an idea where it is. Bo takes his laptop and they leave. Dyson offers to heal her, but she says he’s not the only wolf in town.

Back at home, Bo and Cayden bang like crazy. When she comes wolf sexdownstairs, Dyson, Kenzi, and Lauren are all a tad … uncomfortable. Lauren baked cupcakes for some reason (maybe to get her mind off the fuckfest going on upstairs) and Bo asks if she’s mad, but Lauren says she knows Bo needed healing. Cayden comes down, strutting like crazy and Lauren geeks out over the chemistry behind baking. (Kenzi; “Wow, she just totally took the fun out of yummy.”) Lauren contemplates returning to the Ash, but Bo says she’s safe there. Kenzi cracks Cumberbatch’s laptop (with help from some hacker friend) and they find out the Death Worm is being auctioned off that same night. They decide to infiltrate, with Bo and Kenzi going as the infamous Romanian Kantkazini sisters and Dyson and Cayden as theirVelma muscle/man-candy. At the auction, Dyson and Hale are Bo and Kenzi’s escorts and Cayden covers the back. The Mongolian Death Worm is finally revealed and it’s hideous, it’s heart-stopping, it’s terror-inducing, it’s … Mrs. Wispinski? Yeah, the Death Worm is played by Jayne Eastwood, who’s about as scary as June Cleaver. As Kenzi says, “What’s she gonna do, gum us to death?”

The Death Worm (whose name is Velma) seems content to play watch Wheel of Fortune on a portable TV and chain smoke, but it turns out the TV is the “activation key”; if you take it away from her, she’ll do whatever you say to get it back and she’ll never attack the person holding the TV. Her power is demonstrated as the auctioneer takes her TV away and gets her to disintegrate a Humvee with beams from her eyes. They start the bidding and Bo bids against her old “friend” Cumberbatch. The price Wolf with a gunkeeps going up and Bo seems to have won with a bid of $120 million, until Kenzi gets auction fever and bids against her, upping it to $150 million. Bo tops out at $155 million and Velma is theirs. Now all they have to do is, as Bo so succinctly puts it: “not pay for the Death Worm, kidnap killer grandma, and get the hell out of here without getting liquefied. No biggie.” When it comes time to pay up, Dyson tries to confiscate the Death Worm in the name of the Ash. After slapping down a couple of the auctioneer’s goons, guess who shows up? Yup, it’s Cayden. Seems he and the auctioneer stole Velma together and were supposed to split the profits, but the auctioneer double-crossed Cayden. Looks like there’s a lot of that going around. Cayden shoots his erstwhile partner and grabs the TV so he and Velma can make a quick exit.

At the Dal, they regroup and try to figure out where to find Cayden. Bo remembers Cumberbatch losing interest in the auction early on, so she figures he may have already had a deal in place with Cayden. We see Cayden and Cumberbatch sealing the deal with a bunch of diamonds as Velma complains in the background because Cumberbatch got her butterscotch pudding instead of vanilla. I don’t know what her problem is … butterscotch is way better. The deal is interrupted as Bo, Hale, and Dyson show up and Dyson and Cayden start fighting. The TV gets misplaced and Velma takes out her butterscotch rage on Cumberbatch.

Butterscotch rage
I said vanilla, dammit!

Dyson pounds Cayden, but he gets away and Bo gives Velma her TV back. Dyson tracks the wounded Cayden and we get another flashback. Dyson runs through the woods and finds Stefan near death. Stefan tells him theyDyson vs Cayden were ambushed, asks him to take care of Ciara, and dies. When Dyson brings the body back, he finds out the king came for Ciara the night before and is making her the new queen. Obviously the king sent Stefan to be killed so he could poach his wife. Dyson is ready to waste the king, but his packmates say they’ll fight him. He won’t draw steel against his brethren, so he walks away, vowing to serve the king no more.

In the present, Dyson tracks Cayden to a truck yard where he’s sitting in a van, bleeding out like a stuck pig. Bo says she can breathe sexual chi into people, but can’t do much about Cayden torn out throat. Cayden and Dyson make peace and Bo finds a surprise in the back of the van … Ciara. Yeah, she’s still alive. Seems Cayden fell in love with her at some point, so Ciara in vanhe lied (fancy that!) about her killing herself and was trying to make her fall in love with him. I don’t think he actually knows what love is. Bo and Ciara chat (apparently Ciara was more than just a healer for the pack all those years ago, she trained them to fight; so, she’s pretty bad-ass) and Dyson realizes Cayden has disappeared. Ciara says to forget him and that he at least brought the two of them back into each other’s lives. Seems like Dyson wasn’t the only one having sexy forbidden feelings all those years ago—Ciara is pretty happy to see him. Of course, Bo looks jealous as hell.

Later, Bo asks the Ash to take care of Velma and he agrees. He also hints that he knows exactly where Lauren is hiding out. At Dyson’s place, he gives Ciara the bed and says he’ll sleep on the floor (such a gentleman).Dyson and Ciara They get all smoochy-smoochy and she’s ready to do him, but he hesitates. She says he can’t betray a ghost … I got news for you, honey: it ain’t about the dead king. Dyson comes to his senses about ten seconds later and proceeds to fuck her brains loose. Kenzi seems to be enjoying Lauren’s cupcakes (uh, I meant that literally, not as a sexual thing). In a parallel to the Dyson/Ciara situation, says Lauren can take her bed and she’ll take the couch (what a gentle … succubus). The parallel continues as Bo says Lauren is so used to caring for others she needs to let someone take care of her for once, which is the same line Dyson used on Ciara. Lauren and Bo talkThe parallels stop there though, as Bo and Lauren retire to separate sleeping quarters (and Lauren does seem to end up on the couch after all). So, Dyson is moving on and Bo is … thinking about moving on. We’ll see where all that goes in upcoming episodes.

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