Episode 2: Sleeping Beauty School
This one starts with Trick lamenting Bo’s continued absence (now that everyone remembers her). Dyson goes down by the lake where he and Tamsin went off the cliff trying to run over the Wanderer. Dyson’s been down there every day, looking for some sign of Tamsin and he finally finds something—a feral blonde girl hiding in the bushes. At home, Kenzi is arranging Bo’s room with all her favourite stuff in anticipation of her return: chocolates, wine, Victoria Secret models—runway, not catalogue. Kenzi’s not usually an optimist, so Dyson figures out she’s covering her fear that Bo might never come back. He tells her Trick and Hale have everyone out looking for Bo, then takes her downstairs to meet the wild blonde girl.
Dyson thinks the blonde is Tamsin, reincarnated and growing up all over again. Since Tamsin mentioned Bo’s father before she died, Dyson figures they can get some answers from her, but they’re wary since Tamsin can be dangerous. She demonstrates that by flinging a butcher knife into the wall and calling them losers, which convinces them she’s Tamsin. Dyson’s phone is ringing, but he must have the ringer turned down because nobody notices. We see it’s Lauren (and her terrible dye job) calling from the crappy restaurant where she works. Another waitress (Crystal) asks if she’s okay and Lauren says yeah, but it’s obvious she isn’t. It’s also obvious that Crystal kinda has the hots for her, but Lauren doesn’t even notice … proof of how screwed up she is, since Crystal is pretty hot.
At home, Trick brings a box of stuff over and starts rooting through it looking for something. He tells Kenzi and Dyson that Valkyries see so much shit in one lifetime that they often repress memories after they’re reborn, and even the memories that aren’t repressed will come back piecemeal. Through the whole scene, young Tamsin is watching video of a cartoon bear dancing to “Gangnam Style” on Kenzi’s phone and keeps ordering Kenzi to replay it. Trick finally finds what he’s looking for—the fancy compass from last episode, which Kenzi managed to “acquire”. Trick uses the compass to determine that Bo is no longer on this plane of existence. Trick asks Kenzi if she knows where his ruby-studded astrolabe is, but she says no. And now we finally see Bo again! She’s waking up on a train surrounded by old-fashioned décor. In fact, the whole train seems like something out of a museum (or scrapyard, since it’s pretty run-down) and doesn’t seem to be on a real track. The train just speeds through the darkness, surrounded by a strange aura.
At the Dal, Trick tells Dyson he wounded Aife when she attacked him last episode and makes Dyson swear not to tell Bo. Trick says the only person who can track Bo through dimensions is a guy named Endymion, but nobody knows where to find him. He sends Dyson to talk to Endymion’s ex, a woman named Selene who runs a salon. They hear an unholy scream and Trick says the Una Mens have been pulling people in for “interviews”, by which he means, torture, death, manhunts, pain—you know, the usual. All in the name of restoring order to the Fae, of course. We see the Una Mens in action, torturing the shit out of Vex. He tells them the Morrigan escaped from the cell he had her in and they prepare to kill him. He tells them he can bring them the unaligned succubus (aka Bo) and they agree, but stick a worm down Vex’s throat, presumably so they can control him.
At the salon, Selene takes Dyson into the back room to tell him about Endymion, leaving Hale to poke through her computer. Clio, the nymph Dyson met at the party last episode (played by Mia Kirshner) pops up and tells Hale Selene won’t say shit about Endymion so they should go see someone named Astrid and give her a message (which Clio scrawls on Hale’s hand). Before he can ask about the message (which is written in Hindi) Clio disappears. At home, Kenzi’s having quite the time with little Tamsin, who interrogates her about her love life, rifles through Bo’s stuff, and flushes Kenzi’s magic cream down the crapper. (Kenzi got the cream from the asshole druid, Massimo, so she could pass for Fae and not get in shit with the Una Mens). Kenzi demonstrates some fireworks (which impresses young Tamsin) but says she can’t do any more “magic” without more cream. I thought she was using powder before, but maybe she mixed it in with some face cream or something?
Astrid turns out to be an Astomi and the message from Clio says she’s supposed to erase Dysion and Hale’s memories. (An Astomi is a Greek spirit that doesn’t need to eat or drink because it can survive by smelling flowers and fruit. This Astomi has no mouth, though she looks East Indian, not Greek.) Astrid doesn’t obey Clio’s message, since she’s pissed off at the salon girls (bad perm). She gives Dyson an atomizer and says it’s good for one kiss, but only one moment will be its match. She also smears some stuff on Hale and tells him to go to the one he loves. Hmmm, who could that be? At the salon, all the girls are dancing around (scantily clad, of course) as thy clean up the place. That’s what I always assumed happens at salons. Clio shows up and tells them to attack, but whatever Astrid did to Hale has made him like catnip. Dyson goes to find Selene and Endymion while Hale is buried in lusty women.
At home, Kenzi and young Tamsin are baking cookies (yeah, you heard me) though Tamsin doesn’t seem impressed by Kenzi’s culinary skills. Tamsin finds the Wanderer card with Bo on it in the box Trick brought over earlier, but the card combusts when she touches it. Kenzi puts it out, then takes a photo of what’s left. At the salon, Dyson rips through a steel door and finds Endymion motionless. Selene says he’s not dead, just really asleep. At the restaurant, Lauren’s dropping shit all over the place and Crystal tells her she knows Lauren’s never been a waitress before (and her name’s not “Amber”) Crystal basically tells Lauren she wants to do her and asks her out for a drink after work, but Lauren says no. Man, I know she’s worried about Bo, but how do you say no to a gal who looks like Crystal?
At the salon, Dyson threatens Selene if she doesn’t wake Endymion, but she apparently likes it rough, so she doesn’t comply. She mentions her kisses have power over men, so Dyson uses the atomizer he got from Astrid to daze Selene, them makes her kiss Endymion, which immediately wakes him. Endymion’s not too grateful—he decks Selene and ties her up. He is grateful to Dyson for freeing him from her thrall, so he says he’ll help track Bo down. On the train, Bo tries to pick the lock on the room she’s in and remembers Kenzi. She starts pounding the lock and a maid comes in and tells her not to make “him” angry. Bo uses her succubus power and starts asking questions, but she’s interrupted by a weird screeching noise. The maid says “he” is mad now and it’s all Bo’s fault.
Dyson, Hale, and Endymion walk along a country road and Endymion tries to get Dyson to open up about Bo. He shows Endymion the Wanderer card (which freaks him out), then finally spills his guts and speaks from the heart about Bo, which impresses Endymion. Dyson urges Hale to go tell Kenzi how he feels about her. At the restaurant, Lauren apologizes to Crystal, then saves a choking customer who turns out to be Fae. She slits his whole throat open, exposing a little mouth like in Alien, then pulls out some food that was lodged there. Unfortunately, Crystal gets the whole thing on video.
Dyson and Endymion wander along the railway tracks (being watched by Clio the whole time) and Endymion tells Dyson about dimensional travel. They find a hot dog vendor who’s shifting in time and space, and go to talk to him. At home, Hale tells Kenzi he “likes” her (what, is he twelve?) and she’s into him too, so they start to bang on the table. Hale worries it’s Astrid’s potion that’s making Kenzi hot for him, but before they can figure it out, they hear Tamsin scream. She’s not a kid anymore, she’s a teenager … with a lotta blonde hair. As Kenzi says: “Holy Portia-DeGeneres-Shakira-David Lee Roth!” Tamsin is freaked out by her new body—especially the breasts—and her hormones seem to be working too, which scares Hale into leaving.
Back at the railway tracks, Dyson finds a weird-looking machine with an obscure Fae dialect on the buttons. He soon realizes Endymion has been asleep too long and doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing. Clio shows up again and attacks them. After Dyson knocks one of her teeth out, she says she’s the real Endymion. Endymion (or the guy who claims to be him) says Clio’s an identity thief, but she says someone had to cover his gigs while he was asleep. Clio admits she’s an elemental, but she can commune with all the elements, not just one. While trying to demonstrate his superiority, Endymion is run over by a train (presumably the one Bo’s on) and Clio asks Dyson if he has a ticket for the next time the train shows up. He says he might and takes her to Kenzi’s place to show her the partially burnt Wanderer card.
Kenzi’s a bit reluctant to trust Clio, but Dyson says they have no choice; being an Elemental, Clio can handle the card without it bursting into flames. Dyson and Clio go back to the railway and stick the Wanderer card into the weird machine. The signal light changes colour, which seems to mean it worked. Lauren calls Dyson and it’s obvious he knows where she is and helped her establish her new identity. (Earlier, when the Una Mens were torturing Vex, there were signs that they were looking for Lauren.) Dyson says Lauren is pretty much on her own for the moment, so she’d better do whatever she thinks best.
We see Vex trying to steal a car and talking to Clio on the phone. Seems she’s supposed to bring Bo back for him—alive, he reminds her—in exchange for a shitload of money. Dyson and Clio await the train (which she says is a Death Train) and seem to get absorbed by it as it runs over them. At least they didn’t get smucked like Endymion. At home, Kenzi’s trying to get more magic powder/cream from Massimo and we see she does have Trick’s ruby-studded astrolabe. She leaves Tamsin asleep in Bo’s bed and goes to meet Massimo. At the restaurant, Lauren and Crystal are doing shots and when Crystal goes to the can, Lauren tries to get into her phone and delete the “Alien” video. Crystal catches her and Lauren says if the video gets out, some bad motherfuckers are gonna come after her. Crystal deletes the video and Lauren hugs her, which obviously makes Crystal moist. Yeah, these two are definitely gonna get it on. On the train, Bo drains the maid to give herself enough strength to bust the door open. She jumps off the train and … we’ll have to wait till next episode to see what happens.