Warehouse 13 Reviews: Season 3, Episode 1

Warehouse 13 opening titleEpisode 1: The New Guy

Last season ended with Wells going nuts and almost destroying the world. Myka talked her down, but felt responsible so she quit the Warehouse. Oh, and Pete’s girlfriend Kelly (who he was in love with) left town because she couldn’t handle his crazy life. This episode starts with more craziness, as a rock n’roll museum in Jersey City is shooting lightning bolts all over the place. Cops and government agents swarm around outside and find out a guard at the museum snuck in aSteve Jinks intro girl he was trying to impress, but when he played Jimi Hendrix’s guitar, it started shooting lightning all over. An ATF agent named Steve Jinks (played by Aaron Ashmore from Smallville, Lost Girl, and Killjoys) has the ability to tell when people are lying, and he says the guard is telling the truth. Steve’s partner thinks his ability is a gift (though he isn’t completely convinced it works), but Steve says it’s no gift. (Steve: “Have you ever been on a date?”) Steve sees Pete sneaking into the museum and goes after him.

Artie and Claudia are already inside. They were going to swap Hendrix’s artifact guitar with a copy, but the security guard’s amorous plans screwed that up. The woman the guard was trying to impress is trapped in an old-Claudia rocking outfashioned British phone booth surrounded by fire. Some cops come in and Claudia knocks them out with a Tesla grenade, one of her new inventions. Artie gives Pete an attachment for the fire hose and he goes to help the trapped woman. Steve catches Artie and Claudia before they can switch guitars. They come up with several stories, but Steve knows they’re lying each time, so Artie finally tells the truth and Steve lets them go ahead. Claudia slaps a tremolo on the lightning-shooting guitar and lays down some sweet licks, which shuts the artifact off. Pete douses the fire and rescues the woman from the phone booth. She’s very attractive, and very grateful, but Pete doesn’t seem interested.

Steve watches Artie and Claudia switch the guitars and asks who they are, but gets a Tesla blast as an answer. The rescued girl is pretty much ready to jump Pete, but he’s still not into it, which shocks Artie and Claudia.Pete doesn't notice the hotness (Claudia: “That girl’s really grateful to you … and cold, really, really cold … we could see how cold she was.”) The girl actually does look a bit like Kelly, Pete’s ex, so maybe that’s why he’s reluctant. Or maybe it’s all about Myka, since there were hints that he was attracted to her last season. They leave Steve unconscious and take off. Later, Steve is at home when Mrs. Frederick pops in out of nowhere (as she does) and offers him a new job. Naturally, he can tell she’s not bullshitting him and he’s intrigued.

Steve shows up at the Warehouse, in a scene reminiscent of when Pete and Myka first showed up there, except Steve is alone. Claudia meets him (he Claudia meets Steve at the Warehouseremembers her from the museum, but I thought the Tesla was supposed to erase short-term memory?) and takes him inside. The orbiting football makes a return appearance too, hitting Steve’s car. (Claudia: “That’ll buff out.”) Pete doesn’t wants a new partner (especially one named Jinks) and asks Artie to get Myka back. Artie says he and Mrs. Frederick have tried but Myka’s not interested, so Pete has to work with Steve. Claudia brings Steve in (he recognizes Artie from the museum too) and Pete says he’s looking forward to working with him. Of course, Steve knows he’s lying.

In Denver, a journalist is on the phone with her editor when she gets a basket of figs with a fancy scroll attached. The scroll has a line drawing on it and she tosses it in the garbage where it spontaneously lights on fire. Fang marks appear from nowhere on the woman’s neck and upper chest and she falls against the sofa in a very stylized pose. As the guy on the phone freaksdying like Cleopatra out, she says, “O Antony, nay, I will take thee too.” At the Warehouse, Artie gives Steve a quick rundown of what they do and shows him the actual Warehouse floor, which freaks him out even more. A lightning storm starts halfway across the Warehouse and Artie determines it’s coming from the Ancient Archives. Steve is shocked to see there’s a pyramid inside the Warehouse. (Steve: “There’s a pyramid … in the Warehouse.”; Pete: “That’s right, Jinksy. We get on there, we could win $25,000.”; Steve: “Joke, right? You’re funny.”; Pete: “You’re not laughing.”; Steve: “I’m really not a laugher.”) Artie is ready to investigate the storm, but they get a ping from Denver about the invisible snakebite woman, so he sends Pete and Steve to check it out.

Artie checks the Archives and finds it’s a statue of Zeus that’s shooting out the lightning bolts; appropriate, I guess. In Denver, Pete and Steve find out the woman was killed by venom from a Russell’s viper, but there’s no sign Agent Sally not amusedof an actual snake. Steve finds the ashes of the scroll in the garbage and Pete says the artifact might have the power to poison and burn at the same time. Steve finds that hard to believe, but Pete fills him in on some of the weird shit he’s encountered. (“I once put on Abe Lincoln’s hat and had an uncontrollable urge to free Mrs. Frederick … don’t think that didn’t get me in trouble!”) An FBI agent named Sally Stukowski comes in and gives Pete and Steve shit for being there without her authorization. Pete tries to be charming, but comes off condescending instead, and they get thrown out.

At the Warehouse, Leena comes in with a newly delivered crate and Artie realizes that’s what’s got Zeus so worked up. It turns out to be a statue of Hera, Zeus’s wife and she’s shooting lightning bolts too. Artie tries dousing the statues with neutralizing goo, but it doesn’t help. In Denver, a part-time actor gets another of the fancy scrolls in the mail and when he opensCaesar's death scene it, invisible knives start stabbing him. He slumps down beside a pillar and says “Kai su Teknon” to a horrified neighbour before dying (again in a very stylized pose). Later, Pete interviews the neighbour and finds out the dead guy was a waiter at the Regalton Hotel, and he remembers the dead journalist was doing a story about a bankers’ meeting at the Regalton. Steve tells Pete the guy was stabbed 23 times, with 23 different knives. Pete wonders if it’s an Agatha Christie artifact, since it sounds a bit like Murder on the Orient Express.

Agent Stukowski comes in and isn’t happy to see Pete and Steve at another crime scene unauthorized. Pete tries to get her to work with them and Zeus's wrath in the officementions the bankers’ meeting at the Regalton, but Stukowski says she doesn’t know anything about it. Steve knows she’s lying and she admits she’s supposed to make sure the meeting goes off without a hitch; I guess that ship has sailed. She has her men toss Pete and Steve out again. At the Warehouse, Artie recounts the Greek myths about Zeus banging every woman who moved, immortal or mortal (Claudia: “Got it, Zeus was a man-slut.”), which explains the tension between him and Hera. They realize they have to move one of the statues someplace safe to stop the lightning war.

In Denver, Pete bribes a Regalton bellhop for info on the bankers’ meeting and Steve comes back with the translation of “Kai su Teknon”; it’s basically the Greek equivalent of “Et tu, Brute?” from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. Pete remembers the dying journalist’s reference to Antony and figures Shakespeare is the connection. He says he knows the perfect place to findPete still exasperates Myka out more. Yup, he’s looking for an excuse to see Myka again. But when Pete shows up at the bookstore (in nearby Colorado Springs), Myka’s not thrilled to see him, and we see he can still get under her skin (this time by referring to Shakespeare as the “Bird of Avon”). She figures he’s there to talk her into coming back, but he says he needs help with a literature-related problem. Steve comes in and meets Myka and she agrees to hep them. When Pete mentions the two dying quotations, Myka realizes they’re the final lines of Cleopatra and Julius Caesar from Shakespeare’s plays. She looks at the crime scene photos and realizes the odd poses are straight out of Shakespeare’s Lost Folio, a supposedly cursed book that disappeared 400 years ago.

Myka’s actually getting kind of excited about the whole thing (figures a book-related puzzle would get her worked up), but Pete thanks her and says her help is no longer needed. She’s a bit disappointed, but Steve lets her know that Pete was lying. In Univille, Artie, Claudia, and Leena have moved the Zeus statue to the town conservatory, which seems to have cured its Myka saving Stevelightning rage. Pete calls Artie about the Lost Folio and Artie says he’ll check into it. At the Regalton in Denver, Pete and Steve figure someone might be targeting the bankers at the meeting; the journalist was killed to keep the meeting under the radar, and the waiter could’ve been killed so someone could take his place and gain access to the meeting. Pete has one of his danger vibes and Steve gets an envelope from an employee. When he opens it, there’s a parchment page inside and Steve starts gasping like he’s being choked. Myka shows up and sees the parchment; she recognizes the drawing and tells Steve to say “Commend me to my kind lord, O farewell.” Steve manages to say the phrase (with a little mouth-to-mouth help from Myka) and Pete puts the parchment in a neutralizer bag.

Steve recovers and Myka explains that this death (and final line) are Desdemona’s from Othello. She did some research and found the original curse put on the Lost Folio (by a failed actor): basically, whoever touchesSteve is the voice of reason one of the pages will die the death depicted on the page, but if they say the character’s final line before the page bursts into flames, they’ll be saved. (The first two victims said the lines after the page flamed up.) Pete gets all passive-aggressive about Myka helping, even though he’s wanted her back all along, but Steve tells them to quit arguing, and says he’s fine with Myka helping since she just saved his ass. (Steve: “Maybe you two can work on your repressed sexual tension sometime when we don’t have a book running around trying to suffocate people …”)

They check videotape to see who left the envelope for Steve and figure they’d better go to the bankers’ meeting since someone might be planning on killing them to throw the world financial market into chaos. Pete admits he’s pissed off Agent Stukowski, but thinks they might be able to use that to Pete wrestles with an FBI agenttheir advantage. At the meeting, Myka dresses like a waitress to watch the podium where the bankers are sitting. A guy comes in to deliver three envelopes to the bankers, but Pete and Steve are intercepted by Stukowski and her men before they can get close enough to help. Pete and Steve start a fight, which draws everyone’s attention. Myka saves the three bankers by having them recite the lines corresponding to the characters on the pages they received. Naturally, she knows the words by heart … for the record, they were: Gertrude (“The drink, the drink, I am poisoned.”); Claudius (“O yet defend me, friends, I am but hurt.”); and Hamlet (“the rest is silence.”) Pete and Steve end up being tossed out on their asses … again.

Myka takes off and Stukowski and Steve find the last Folio page in a hotel room, but the guy is long gone. Stukowski grudgingly thanks Pete for his help, while pointing out what a dick he is. (Pete: “It is shocking how much she wants me.”) At the Warehouse, the Hera statue has calmed down now that Zeus is gone. Claudia takes an emerald (or possibly jade) scarab out of a case and watches with chagrin as it flies out and burrows down through the floor.

Myka figures out Wells isn't really there
Funny she chose to test by putting her hand through Wells’s chest.

In Colorado springs, Mrs. Frederick pops up in the bookstore, scaring the shit out of Myka. Mrs. Frederick thanks her and says there’s someone else who wants to talk to her. It turns out to be Wells, who wants to warn Myka about letting her resentment toward the Warehouse build up; that’s what happened to Wells and it made her a little nuts. There’s still some unresolved sexual tension between them, in my opinion, but there’s no way for them to work on it since Wells isn’t really there; her consciousness is being projected there from wherever she’s being held. She tells Myka to consider what she said, then disappears.

Of course, we all know what’s coming next … yup, Myka’s back at the Warehouse! Everybody’s glad to see her, but Artie pretends to be all business, as usual. He reminds them there’s still a mysterious killer loose in Denver who they have to find. Speaking of which, we see the death-letter the mastermind in silhouettedeliverer talking to some silhouetted dude, obviously the mastermind. The killer mentions Steve being a new Warehouse agent and offers to follow up on Pete and Myka, but the mastermind says that won’t be necessary. Someone throws a plastic bag over the killer’s head and suffocates him; I guess he turned out to be an expendable loose end. As he dies, we see his executioner is Agent Stukowski. So she’s not just rude, she’s evil too! Overall, a good start to the new season. I like the chemistry between Pete, Myka, and Steve, and it was fun to see Wells again. We’ll see where the story goes with Stukowski and the mystery mastermind in upcoming episodes.

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