Xena Reviews: Season 3, Episode 17

Forget Me Not – Director: Charlie Haskell/Writer: Hilary J. Bader

This one starts with clips of Gabi arguing with Xena and poisoning Hope in Maternal Instincts. We soon realize this is a nightmare and that Gabi’s been having a lot of bad dreams lately, and they’re getting so bad she can barely function. Gabi knows the nightmares represent something buried in her subconscious and since she’s supposed to be meeting Xena near the Temple of Mnemosyne (Goddess of Memory), she figures it’s a good time to get to the bottom of what’s bugging her. She tells Joxer to wait in the camp, but naturally he follows her. Outside the Temple, Gabi meets another supplicant who has had all her memories erased. She decides to go inside, even though the guards warn her she could lose all her memories and her sense of self.

Inside the Temple, Gabi talks to the Priestess, who knows all Gabi’s memories, including the repressed ones. The Priestess tells her she’ll have to journey inside her own memory to find what she’s been repressing and that she’ll have to cross three rivers to find the truth. The Priestess gives Gabi a bowl of water representing her memories, telling her if it’s ever emptied she’ll lose all of them. After trying unsuccessfully to get in (and falling out of a tree), Joxer finally distracts the guards long enough to enter the Temple. But Gabi has already started the journey into her memories, so all that’s left is her body, an empty shell. Joxer takes her out of the Temple to re-educate her. Inside her memory, Gabi meets Ares and crosses the River of Wailing, where she has memories of killing Meridien in The Deliverer and letting Crassus be executed last episode. She emerges from the River covered in blood.

Gabi finds the next river, an ice-filled stream called the River of Woe and prepares to cross it. Outside, Joxer decides he can use Gabi’s scrolls to return her memories, but decides to tell her only the good ones, not the bad. In her memory, Gabi falls into the River of Woe and remembers betraying Xena in The Debt. When she emerges from the icy water, she tells Ares she’s finished her quest and can go home, since Xena forgave her for what she did in Chin (which we see in another flashback). Ares agrees and tells her to go back, assuring her he’ll be there to save her if she gets in trouble (as long as she doesn’t mind owing him a favour). But when Gabi goes into the River, the ice chunks close in around her and push her under.

Gabi busts out and gives Ares shit for not helping her. He lights a fire to warm her and when she’s conflicted about what to do, says she can either stay there forever … or die. Outside, Joxer reads Gabi’s scrolls to her, but changes them to make himself the hero instead of Xena. He also lets Gabi think she’s in love with him. In her memory, Ares tries to convince Gabi there’s no point in going on, but her memories of Xena (specifically the “Love Duet” from Bitter Suite) makes her decide to cross the last river, the River of Fire. That brings back her repressed memories and she recalls Ares being there after Xena left her to go to Chin in The Debt. Gabi emerges from the river on fire.

Gabi extinguishes the fire and realizes “Ares” is really her subconscious, the dark part of her that represents her guilt and denial. She beats the shit out of “Ares” and finally faces the truth her subconscious mind has been trying to keep buried: Ares appeared to her after Xena left for Chin and she asked him to send her there ahead of Xena. She’d always assumed it was to keep Xena from screwing up her redemption, but she now admits that she was jealous and mad because Xena chose Lao Ma over her. She betrayed Xena to Ming Tien hoping she’d be punished, but when it almost got her killed, Gabi repressed her motives because she couldn’t handle the fact that her jealousy almost got Xena killed. “Ares” tells her to drink the water representing her memories so she can forget what she did and why she did it. Gabi knows drinking the water will erase all her good memories along with the bad ones … including all her memories of Xena. Outside, Joxer finally tells Gabi the truth (just as she’s trying to bang him) and admits Xena did all the heroic stuff, not him. Gabi’s full memories come back right then and she slaps Joxer around a bit until Xena shows up. Turns out Xena suspected Ares helped Gabi get to Chin ahead of her and knew why Gabi made a deal with him because Gabi talks in her sleep. Xena knew Gabi had to figure things out for herself, so she directed her to the Temple, hoping she’d make the right decision (which she did).

This is a really good episode (which is why it’s #27 on my all-time list), and it really gives us some insight into Gabi’s character. Gabi is surprised to find out she almost got Xena killed out of petty jealousy, since she hadn’t believed she was capable of that. Renee said she felt the same way until Lucy told her to stop trying to protect her character and just let her be flawed and imperfect like anyone else. And I think that makes Gabi a better character in the end, more relatable. Instead of being morally superior to Xena, Gabi realizes now that they both have flaws as well as assets, which brings them closer together and lets them have a relationship that’s more equal. Ares represents Gabi’s guilt over what she did, so when he’s questioning whether being with Xena is worth all the pain Gabi’s been through, it’s really her subconscious wondering the same thing. Of course, she does owe the real Ares a debt for getting her to Chin before Xena, a marker he’ll call in at the end of the season.

As I said, this helps advance Gabi and Xena’s relationship, although I feel like it’s a bit of a cheat to have Xena know the truth even before Gabi does. I thought Gabi should’ve showed more contrition after betraying Xena (and maybe Xena should’ve been more upset about it). Gabi does offer an apology but Xena immediately tells her not to worry about it (which may say something about how much Xena loves Gabi). Maybe they saved the big apology (and some make-up sex), for later, once they get rid of Joxer. Yeah, I think they’re definitely intimate by this point; I mentioned last episode that I thought their first time could’ve been on the ship back from Rome. This episode backs up that theory, since it would make sense if that newfound intimacy was what made Gabi’s repressed memories start manifesting in her dreams. That could explain why she was never bothered by her conscience before, not even in Illusia; it took that new level of trust and love between her and Xena to bring that guilt bubbling up from her subconscious (although I can’t help wondering if Ares helped repress those memories with his powers). Them being intimate now might also explain how Xena heard Gabi talking in her sleep so clearly …

Joxer still has a thing for Gabi and almost acts on it here, filling her head with a bunch of crap and letting her believe she’s in love with him. He chooses to do the right thing in the end and I can’t help wondering if deep down he knows Xena and Gabi are in love and that he could never compete with it. Joxer has opportunities to take advantage of Gabi (not just here, but in A Comedy of Eros as well) and she’s definitely willing to bang him, but he always stops it. Maybe Joxer’s love for Gabi is kind of idealized, almost like the courtly love that knights had for ladies in medieval times. Joxer certainly isn’t afraid to bang (just ask Meg), but I get the feeling he’d never actually bang Gabi because it would taint the feelings he has for her, making her like any other girl instead of his ideal love. (And Gabi seems like she’s pretty horny, so maybe Joxer knows she’s too much woman for him anyway.)

Noticeable Things:

• In the Temple, the Priestess absorbs Joxer’s memories when he comes in and it gives her a splitting headache.
• The empty-shell Gabi refers to Joxer as Jerkster multiple times.
• The three rivers Gabi crosses (Wailing, Woe, and Fire) correspond to three of the five rivers in Hades (Cocytus, Acheron, and Phlegethon, respectively). The first two seem to represent Gabi’s guilt, while the River of Fire burns away the veil of memory, exposing the truth. Due to the vagaries of TV production, the supposedly-freezing River of Woe was actually hot, while the River of Fire was freezing cold.
• When Gabi is remembering stuff from Chin, she has a memory of Xena and Lao Ma having air-sex. I guess Xena must’ve told her about it (though I suspect Gabi’s poetic sensibilities might’ve amped up the romantic feel a bit).
• One of the things Joxer told Gabi was that they banged just before “he” rescued Ulysses. Was that something Joxer just made up, or did Xena and Gabi actually bang back then and Joxer just substituted himself in for Xena, like with all his other stories? That would certainly accelerate my romantic timeline a bit.

Favourite Quotes:

• “I’m a very forgettable person!” Joxer telling the Priestess he’s the perfect guy to help Gabi with her memory problems.
• “In every story you tell me, this thing I’m wearing gets smaller. Is it enchanted?” Gabi asking Joxer about her green top, which has gotten smaller since it was introduced. (Joxer’s answer about whether it’s enchanted is “Yes, they are.”)
• “I have never, nor will I ever, dance in the nude in the rain with you anywhere near me.” Gabi letting Joxer know she has her full memory back. I can’t help noticing how she qualifies her statement by saying she’d never dance nude with him anywhere near. On the other hand, if Xena was around …