Eternal Bonds – Director: Mark Beesley/Writer: Chris Manheim
This one starts with Xena and Gabi fleeing the wrath of the gods, who have sent lightning and a tornado to kill Xena’s child (Eve), who they believe heralds their end. A cloaked figure directs Xena and Gabi to a cave, where they run into Joxer (and I can’t help wondering how he heard about the baby being born). He introduces them to three Magi, who give Eve gifts as if she was the
Messiah. But instead of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, it’s grain, fruit, and oil from a laurel tree. Xena recalls that laurel is sacred to Artemis and kicks the oil jug away, revealing it was really filled with acid. Turns out the Magi are actually priests of Artemis, Apollo, and Poseidon who are there to kill Eve.
Xena and Gabi take care of them, but Joxer is wounded when he jumps in to 
help Gabi. Gabi tends his wound and Ares shows up to talk to Xena, but she’s distracted when she realizes the priest of Apollo had a poisoned sword. Gabi gives Joxer shit for jumping in to help her, saying she can take care of herself. Joxer can’t remember which weapon cut him, so Xena tells Gabi to take him to a mandrake tree in case he did get poisoned. Xena will lead their pursuers away to give Gabi time, but Gabi’s reluctant to leave Xena and Eve, especially since Joxer might not even be poisoned. Xena reminds her they can’t afford to take that
chance. In a nearby temple, more priests and priestesses find out their first attempt was unsuccessful (by ripping a guy’s heart out and reading the omens in it) and agree to commit all their forces to killing Eve. On the trail, Gabi and Joxer realize he actually is poisoned, but Gabi can’t help wishing she was with Xena. Joxer tells her to go back, but she refuses. Meanwhile, Xena has stopped to nurse Eve and some guys sneak up on them.
Xena hears the attackers coming and takes them out (with some improvised weapons). Ares shows up to tell Xena he wants to help her and Eve, which Xena has a hard time believing since Eve’s living threatens Ares’ very existence. Gabi and Joxer talk and he points out that his overprotectiveness toward her is basically the same as hers towards Xena and Eve, and that both are motivated by love. In camp that night, Ares shows up and tries to change Xena’s mind about him. When
he saves Eve from an attacker, Xena wonders if he really is sincere and starts making out with him. Sorry, Shippers, but it’s just a dream (although Xena does seem pretty turned on when she wakes up). The poison starts moving toward Joxer’s heart and he and Gabi head through some woods, where they run into an Artemis priestess and a bunch of her soldiers.
Gabi tells them they’re looking for Artemis’s temple to worship there 
(which probably fits, since Gabi is an Amazon and they worship Artemis), and Joxer tells them they were attacked by Xena. They try to send the priestess on a false trail so they can head for the mandrake tree, but she insists on sending an escort to get them back on the proper road. As Xena leads her own pursuers on a false trail, she can’t stop thinking about the dream of her and Ares banging, but tries to convince herself it means nothing. Joxer is getting worse and Gabi goes to get water, almost running into some soldiers searching for them. With a
little help from Ares, Xena’s pursuers get back on her trail, realizing she’s heading for the mandrake tree. Xena gets to the tree and sees all three armies converging on her position. Ares shows up again and offers to save her and Eve if she gives him a child, which is his way of ensuring his immortality even after the gods fall. Xena refuses to give up her future, even at the cost of her life, but Ares reminds her it isn’t just her life at stake.
Joxer’s in really bad shape and tells Gabi to go ahead to the tree, but she refuses to leave him. Xena’s out looking for Gabi and when Eve spots a kite made of parchment (kinda like the one Xena made in A Day in the Life), Xena 
realizes it’s a signal from Gabi. As Joxer gets worse, he asks Gabi why she couldn’t love him. She says she does love him, just not the way he wants her to. Xena arrives with the mandrake, but the three armies show up to attack as well. Ares pops in again to reiterate his offer (stopping time temporarily to make their chat easier) and Xena realizes he sent her the dream to make her horny for him, so she tells him to fuck off. Xena and Gabi pound the attacking soldiers and Xena rigs up a rope to keep Eve out of range of the fighting. Gabi kills quite a few people here, even using one of the poisoned swords (and after she drops
that, she picks up a shield and just starts bashing people). Ares grabs Eve during the fight but lets her go, and Xena kills the three leaders. That scatters the armies and Xena gives Joxer the mandrake to save his life. Gabi and Joxer agree to disagree about their feelings for each other and Xena wonders if exposing Eve to this sort of violence is wrong. Gabi says it probably is, but the gods aren’t really giving them much choice.
This is a really good episode (#58 on my all-time list) that deals with some 
ongoing plot points, highlighting the bonds between various characters. It’s cool to see Xena bonding with Eve, teaching her how to lay false trails, how to hide in trees, and discussing strategy with her. No matter what Xena wants for Eve, she can’t insulate her from all the bad things in life. There are a couple of scenes where Eve gets some blood on her face from attackers, almost like she’s being baptized in it … which is rather appropriate, considering what happens to her later in life. The bond between Xena and Ares shows up here too; it’s nothing like
the bond Xena has with Gabi (they really act like a married couple here), but the darker part of Xena has always felt a visceral sort of attraction towards Ares. He basically admits he was manipulating her dreams, but the residual horniness speaks to a part of Xena that’s always kinda been attracted to him … physically, at least. Hey, she’s married, she’s not dead.
And of course, we get a resolution (sort of) to the long-running crush Joxer 
has on Gabi (and he finally gets a clear answer after confessing his feelings back in Chakram). Gabi tells Joxer she cares about him, even loves him, but she’s not in love with him … and he seems to accept that. Maybe he’s finally realized that Xena and Gabi are perfect for each other, although I think he may have known that all along, at least on some level. Apparently, the original script had a kiss between Gabi and Joxer when it looked like he was going to die, but Ted and (especially) Renee didn’t think it fit Gabi’s character. I tend to agree; Gabi was being
honest with Joxer about not being in love with him, so why would she send a mixed message by kissing him? I don’t think that sort of emotional dishonesty is Gabi’s style, even if she thought Joxer was going to die. It’s interesting to note that when Joxer actually does die later this season, Gabi doesn’t kiss him, although it’s obvious she’s devastated at losing him.
Noticeable Things:
- When they’re looking for the mandrake tree, Gabi can’t figure out which way is north. Not very impressive for an Amazon, but I guess we can say she was distracted by her worries about Xena and Eve.
- During the fight with her attackers, Xena uses Eve’s diapers (one of which is full of shit) and diaper tacks to fight with. Originally, Chris Manheim thought about having Xena squirt milk from her tits at the guys, but figured that might be a bit too far.
- When telling Ares why she doesn’t trust him, Xena mentions him siccing the Furies on her, masquerading as her father, and putting the moves on Gabi.
Favourite Quotes:
- “How come there was never an ‘us’, Gabrielle?” Joxer asking why Gabi couldn’t love him the way he loved her.
- “You’re so hot.” Gabi telling Joxer he has a fever, but his reply is “You’re not so bad yourself.”
- “Why’s everybody telling me to think? I think, I just don’t show it.” Joxer basically summing up his philosophy of life.
- “I can be a real bitch sometimes, huh?” Gabi’s way of apologizing to Joxer, who doesn’t agree with her self-assessment … but doesn’t disagree either.