Justice League America #33 – “Nitwits, Knuckleheads, and Poozers” – Keith Giffen, J.M. DeMatteis/Adam Hughes/Art Nichols
This one starts with a bored Guy Gardner deciding to drop by the headquarters of the Green Lantern Corps to stir up some shit. After freaking out a passenger on a commercial jet, Guy heads to GLC HQ, where he finds Kilowog feeling sorry for himself because the Corps (and the Guardians of the Universe) have all kinda dissolved. Guy decides to greet his fellow Lantern by jumping him and starting a brawl. Meanwhile, Blue Beetle and Booster Gold are on the remote Pacific
island of Kooeykooeykooey, which the League annexed in this year’s annual (which I’ll be reviewing after I finish the December reviews). Booster Gold thinks being in charge of a remote islet is pointless, but Beetle sees potential in the place and wants to talk to the native leader. At Corps HQ, Guy and Kilowog continue their fight, but choose to beat each other’s brains out instead of resorting to Power Rings. On Kooeykooeykooey, Beetle tells the tribal chief his idea: turning the island into a casino resort to attract rich people and celebrities. The chief points out that the islanders are basically self-sustaining and have no need of money, and worries about outside 
influences corrupting their way of life. Beetle tells him they can keep the resort separate from the rest of the island and goes on about all the celebrities the chief will get to hang out with. I think Gavin McLeod was the one that clinched it. At GLC headquarters, Guy and Kilowog stop their fight (which was all in fun) and Guy lets Kilowog use his ring to restore the building they demolished. Kilowog tells Guy he’s been bored just hanging out there with nothing to do other than fix stuff, which gives Guy an idea. When Arisia gets back, she finds a note from Kilowog saying he’s gone with Guy to New York to join the JLA. Naturally, Guy didn’t bother to run his idea past Max Lord first, but
Max is impressed by how fast Kilowog fixes the security system, the teleporters, and Fire’s hair dryer. Apparently, Max was considering recruiting Kilowog anyway, but he doesn’t mention that to Guy, not wanting his already inflated ego to get even bigger. Beetle and Booster soon grab Kilowog to start construction on their resort, but they’re unaware that Aquaman knows about their plans … and he isn’t happy.
Justice League Europe #9 – “Under the Skin” – Keith Giffen, Bill Loebs/Art Nichols/Bart Sears
This one starts with Captain Atom and Catherine Cobert being told by a doctor that Power Girl’s condition is getting worse. She sustained internal injuries from a magical attack last issue, but because of her invulnerable skin (and organs) nobody can do anything about them. At the Paris Embassy, Sue tells Ralph she called in some specialized help without running it by Captain Atom first. Sue tells Ralph to take monitor duty while she goes to the hospital to explain things. Turns out the “help” Sue called in was Superman, but she didn’t give him specifics so he arrives at the hospital not knowing about Power
Girl. At the Embassy, Wally West gets tired of Ralph’s constant reminders that Barry Allen was a better Flash than him and decides to confront Ralph about it. At the hospital, Sue refuses to apologize for not following procedure and the doctor confirms that Superman might be able to help save Power Girl. At the embassy, Wally gets all his anger off his chest about Ralph treating him like a punk kid, and Ralph suggests they trade stories about Barry. At the hospital, Superman uses his heat vision to cut into Power Girl’s invulnerable body so the surgeon can repair the damage. (They called Kilowog in to whip up some fancy tech to help them.) On the roof, 
Metamorpho and Batman talk. Metamorpho’s pissed off that nobody from the Outsiders bothered to check up on him after his supposed death and resurrection, but Batman’s more worried that Metamorpho’s “death” might have given him brain damage, which could make him a liability to the team. Meatmorpho tells him to go to hell and takes off. As the operation drags on at the hospital, Wally and Ralph male bonding works and they end up laughing about some of the goofier fights against the Rogues. Ralph tells Wally that Barry was always proud of him and still would be, although he doesn’t agree to stop giving Wally shit. Metamorpho realizes he was out of line freaking
out on Batman, so he decides to apologize. The operation concludes and Power Girl is saved, but the doctor had to basically re-arrange a lot of her internal organs, which could drastically reduce (or even eliminate) her super-powers. But a week later, she sneaks out of the hospital to test herself and finds that although her powers have been greatly reduced (she’s not “cosmic” anymore), she’s still got superhuman strength, speed, and leaping ability … which is good enough for her.
New Titans #61 – “Going Home” – Marv Wolfman, George Perez/Tom Grummett/Bob McLeod
This is part 4 of the “Lonely Place of Dying” storyline, but it was published the same month as the final part (in Batman 442) and because of the way my reviews are grouped, I’ve already reviewed that issue. So you should probably read this one first, then go read that issue. This one starts where the last chapter left off, with Tim Drake urging Dick Grayson to become Robin again. Tim says Batman needs a Robin to stabilize him and keep him from going over the edge, like he’s been doing since Jason Todd died. But Dick is Nightwing now and has no intention of becoming a kid sidekick
again, although he acknowledges that Tim is right and goes out to look for Batman. In New York, Raven is on monitor duty at Titans’ headquarters when she gets a call from someone looking for Nightwing. When he finds out Nightwing isn’t there, he blasts a deafening squeal through the phone and hangs up. The Titans assume it’s Tim Drake (since he came by Dick and Starfire’s apartment earlier), but Speedy thinks the squeal of noise sounded familiar. They trace the call to a telephone pole where the caller tapped right into the line. Speedy figures out that the noise as a coded message sent through a modem, which makes them think maybe it wasn’t Tim after all. Meanwhile, 
Jericho finds a data chip with a message for Nightwing and says Raven is the only one who can help. Nightwing is in Gotham, talking to Commissioner Gordon about Batman when Raven teleports in to give him a chip with the message on it, which turns out to be from Batman. Nightwing interprets the data quickly, figuring out that Two-Face is up to his old tricks, and where his current hideout is. Batman is glad to see his old partner, but he’s still being reckless, refusing to use stealth and busting into the building through a window. Nightwing sneaks into the basement, while Batman finds himself in a room where everything is upside-down. Things in the basement look more normal, but Batman realizes that since the upstairs is upside-down, that means the
basement is the second floor. The windows close in the basement and Two-Face shows up, setting off a bomb that blows the ceiling (or floor) apart and sends Batman crashing down into the cellar. He and Nightwing are buried in rubble and Two-Face flips his coin to see if he should finish them off or not. But Nightwing turned on a homing signal, letting Alfred and Tim know where he was. The explosion cuts off the signal, worrying Tim, whose gut tells him the Dynamic Duo need help … maybe from Robin.
Legion of Super-Heroes #2 – (No Title) – Tom and Mary Bierbaum/Keith Giffen/Al Gordon
This starts with some news reports from three years ago (in other words 2991, since this is set in 2994, five years after the previous Legion series) about Phantom Girl and Ultra Boy preparing to get married. As the real story starts, we see a Sklarian girl (Kono) sneaking through the slums of Rimbor, evading some security guys looking for her. She phases through a wall when they spot her and we learn they’re working for the Silverale Company, a large business operating on Rimbor. Silverale’s chairman is after Jo Nah (aka Ultra Boy), who runs a smuggling network that’s cutting into Silverale’s profits. The chairman is
so desperate to get Jo, he makes a deal with the Khunds, who have a bounty on Kono’s head. The chairman says he’ll help find Kono (who’s part of Jo Nah’s smuggling set-up) if the Khunds promise to eliminate Jo as well as Kono. The Khunds quickly find the club where Kono hid from Silverale’s security and blast the place to shit, killing civilians and one of Silverale’s guards. Kono escapes into the sewers, but the Khunds track her, hoping she’ll lead them to Jo. Speaking of Jo, he’s not with Phantom Girl but some woman named Ginny (who may be a hooker, I’m not sure). The Khunds grab Ginny when she leaves and extract 
info from her before killing her. They know Kono and Jo are together in Jo’s house, so they plan to take out the entire block to make sure of a kill. We check in with Night Girl and Loomis on Kathoon, where they’re hiding out while Cosmic Boy and Chameleon Boy try to get the Legion back together. On Rimbor, the Khunds blow up the block but Jo and Kono both survive (thanks to their respective invulnerability and phasing). Jo fights the Khunds, who are actually more interested in killing Kono. But she and Jo work together and kill their opponents, though Jo seems reluctant; probably a holdover from the Legion Code. Elsewhere, Dirk (Sun Boy) Morgna is trying to booty call Shvaughn Erin, but there’s a woman named Circe who seems to be dressed a lot like Shvaughn that
Dirk’s already banging. Circe seems to know about Dirk’s thing for Shvaughn and is running background checks on her, but I’m not quite sure why she’s dressing like Shvaughn (including red wig), or why Dirk doesn’t seem to notice. On Rimbor, Jo digs through the rubble of his house to find a Legion souvenir and we learn from another old news report that Phantom Girl apparently died in 2991 (though I’m pretty sure she comes back eventually).