You Are There – Director: John Laing/Writer: Chris Black
This one starts with Xena and Gabi heading to the far north again, reuniting with Beowulf in a tavern. The first clue something weird is going on is that Beowulf is no longer in love with Gabi. Odin hears about Xena’s arrival and sends some Valkyries to take care of her, but Xena and Gabi kick their asses. Outside, a modern-day reporter named Nigel shows up with a TV crew to interview Xena.
Nigel interrogates Xena about why she came to the north, accusing her of
wanting to take Odin’s place as a god. Xena gets pissed off and walks out of the interview, so Nigel goes to the River Styx to ask Charon about her. He tells Nigel that Xena’s very good at killing people, something that’s confirmed by Caligula, who’s waiting to cross the Styx and is still understandably pissed off that Xena 
tricked him into killing himself. Nigel goes to Valhalla to talk to an “invisible source”, who turns out to be Odin using his powers to make himself invisible (something that’s pretty obvious to anyone who saw the Ring Trilogy). Odin says that Xena has come to Valhalla to steal the Golden Apples so she and Ares can both become gods and rule on Olympus.
Nigel sneaks up on Gabi while she’s bathing to ask about Xena and Ares, but
Gabi gets pissed off and leaves. Nigel tracks Ares (who’s pretty out-of-it) down on the farm to ask him about what Xena’s planning. Nigel figures his suspicions are correct when Xena shows up at the farm looking for Ares. Nigel then interviews the Archangel Michael and former Archangel Lucifer, neither of whom have anything good 
to say about Xena. Nigel goes after Eve next, badgering her about Xena and Ares. Eve forgets her job as messenger of Eli and freaks out, decking Nigel after a profanity-laced tirade. Gabi sits down with Nigel to clear things up, but he starts getting personal and asks if Gabi is in love with Xena. Strangely, Gabi’s answer is no.
Xena shows up and puts the Pinch on Nigel so he’ll listen to what she has to say. She tells him that Love is slowly disappearing from the world since
Aphrodite lost her powers, so Xena is trying to restore it. Outside, Xena and Gabi have a pointless argument, proving that love really is vanishing from the world. Nigel investigates the “lost love” angle, talking to the madam of a whorehouse (where he runs into Ares), who tells him business is great because people are more concerned with sex than love. Nigel meets a mysterious informer in a cave, who tells him Xena is trying to get the Apples to restore Aphrodite’s 
immortality. She tells him to “follow the love”, so Nigel tracks down the now-mortal Aphrodite, who tells him love is disappearing because people squandered it and took it for granted. Nigel brings Aphrodite to the foot of Valhalla, where Gabi, Beowulf, and the Valkyries have gathered. Xena is inside, fighting Odin for the Golden Apples, but Xena no longer has the power to kill gods.
We don’t get to see the fight, but Xena captures Odin and the Apples and brings them out to the crowd. Ares shows up and Xena gives him an Apple,
which restores his godhood immediately. Nigel seems to have changed his mind about Xena, but when Ares tempts her to become a god and rule beside him, Nigel gets worried. Xena looks like she’s considering it; even Gabi begs her not to eat the Apple, which seems to change her mind. Xena ends up giving the Apple to Aphrodite, who regains her godhood and restores love to the world. We can tell because Beowulf’s love for Gabi returns right away, as does Xena and Gabi’s love for each other. Ares and Aphrodite leave and Xena returns the remaining Apples to Odin, revealing she had help getting into Valhalla … from Grynhilde, who was Nigel’s “informant” (something obvious to 
anyone who saw the Ring Trilogy, as her voice gave her away immediately). Xena and Grynhilde explain things for Nigel and Eve apologizes for her earlier behaviour (and freaks Nigel out by insisting he flagellate her with birch rods). Later, Nigel comes right out and asks if Xena and Gabi are lovers. Xena is about to answer when the camera batteries go dead … but we all know the answer, don’t we?
This is a pretty good episode, as long as you can get past the whole meta-theme of a modern-day reporter being in Ancient Greece to interview Xena
and Gabi (which everyone there seems to take in stride). I don’t hate the idea like some fans do, but it is kinda distracting at times (which is why this is #66 on my all-time list instead of higher). Michael Hurst is great as Nigel (and looks nothing like Iolaus), relentlessly obnoxious but eventually becoming a Xena booster once he learns the truth. It’s interesting to see the effects of love vanishing from the world, like Beowulf’s indifference to Gabi, Eve’s anger (showing how she’s 
fallen off the Way of Love), and Xena and Gabi sniping at each other … although they actually realize what’s happening and stop their argument, more proof of how strong their bond really is. (In fact, when Aphrodite expresses surprise that Xena and Gabi are still together, Gabi says that she’s Xena’s “partner”, which could be taken a couple of different ways.)
There are quite a few funny moments here: Grynhilde’s Deep Throat imitation; the“artist’s rendering” of Valhalla; Odin’s invisible interview;
Eve cursing at Nigel (which apparently both shocked and impressed the Xena crew); and everyone talking shit about Xena. Some fans may have taken this episode as a swipe at Xena fandom, with the whole thing about Xena and Gabi’s relationship and fans always wanting confirmation that they’re more than friends. It could also be aimed at documentary filmmakers who get too close to their subjects and lose their objectivity. I know a lot of fans see the “technical difficulties” at the end as a cop-out, but most of the creators (and Lucy and Renee) said Xena’s answer can be whatever each fan 
imagines it to be. Personally, I think the wording of Nigel’s question is important; he asks if Xena and Gabi are lovers (making Xena uncomfortable, which seems to delight Gabi), but that doesn’t convey the true depth of their relationship. Before she was cut off, I think Xena was going to say “Technically … we’re married.” After all, they’re obviously in love and basically have a daughter together, so they’re so much more than just “lovers”.
Noticeable Things:
- Charon is played by a different actor than in Mortal Beloved, and sounds less like Beetlejuice now and more like Jimmy Durante.
- Charon mentions that Xena sent Velasca to the Underworld, so I guess she really did die in Necessary Evil.
Favourite Quotes:
- “I’m trying to get laid, I’m not a criminal.” Ares in the whorehouse when he sees Nigel and the cameras.
- “Well, you can’t have love without hate. You can’t have peace without violence, and you certainly can’t have forgiveness without anger.” Xena explaining why she restored Ares’ godhood instead of just Aphrodite’s.
- “Do not make me zap you!” Ares warning the camera crew off when they catch him moping on Olympus.