Episode 5: Let the Dark Times Roll
This one starts right were last episode left off, with the Una Mens Keeper telling Bo that her blood has proclaimed her to be Dark Fae. Bo protests, saying she never chose a side, but the Keeper says the Una Mens no longer care about her and she should talk to Vex, since he was in charge of the Dark Fae while Bo was gone. Bo warns the Una Mens (who she refers to as the “circle jerk of doom”) to leave town, but
the Keeper ignores her and threatens to kill Lauren and Kenzi. Bo tries to drain all the Una Mens, but the draining reverses instantly, leaving Bo weak. (Bo: “What kind of boomerang bitch are you?”) The Keeper says any attack on the Una Mens will strike Bo instead and urges her to pay fealty to the Dark leader … or die.
Elsewhere, we see Kenzi waiting in a reception area and taking a numbered ticket from a machine; she gets number 69, of course. Bo comes out of the bathroom with some dude and a woman who turns out to be the receptionist.
Bo was recharging with a quick lavatory three-way and feels adequately juiced (she makes a reference to double D’s, but I’m not sure if she means batteries or the hot receptionist). She tells Kenzi she suspects the Wanderer is behind her shift to the Dark and figures Vex can tell them what’s up. Kenzi also mentions Dyson is still trying to find the missing Lauren. The receptionist calls number 69 (which is the number everyone has, apparently) and Bo and Kenzi go into the office. But instead of Vex, they find the Morrigan (with a pageboy cut that kinda suits her), who says she’s glad Bo could finally join them.
The Morrigan tells them she’s in charge again and when they ask about Vex, she invites them to her Dark ceilidh (Kenzi: “Dark ceilidh? What is that, code for vegetable enema?”; it’s funnier if you hear it aloud, because “ceilidh” is pronounced like “Kaley”.), which she
says is just like a Light Fae party, except with more … everything. She tells Bo if she was coerced into joining the Dark, she can get out of it by showing proof before the first full moon since she joined—which, of course, is that same night. At the Dal, Trick is calling around trying to learn more about the Wanderer. He examines something in a wooden box that looks like a walnut, but since it’s moving and giving off weird noises, I assume it’s some kind of egg. He locks the egg in a vault and is startled to find an intruder behind him. The intruder gives Trick a summons from the Una Mens, saying they want to hear his life story. Sounds like they know he’s the Blood King.
At the Dark Fae party, Bo shows up with Kenzi and Tamsin expecting the last days of Caligula, but the whole thing seems rather subdued. I’m not sure if Tamsin is fully back to normal yet; she doesn’t say much, and one sip of alcohol has her gagging, so I’m assuming she still has a ways to go. The Morrigan (sporting another hairstyle, this one kind of a throwback to the Golden Age of Hollywood) welcomes them and tries to tempt Bo with a “human buffet”. Bo uses her succubus mojo to convince the humans to leave, which the Morrigan finds amusing. Bo realizes the Morrigan is using
her conversion to the Dark to score political points and calls her on it. The Morrigan tells her the Una Mens have been getting up in her business lately and that they’ll keep coming after Bo’s friends until they’re dead. She also says the Una Mens are after Vex now because he did something to piss them off, so Bo had better find him before they do. Bo is ready to tell her to go to hell, but the Morrigan says now that Bo is Dark, she’s not only Bo’s boss, but also her friend. To prove it, she tells Bo to turn around and guess who she sees? Yup, it’s Lauren.
In the Una Mens cave, Trick’s inquisition starts and he’s being kind of evasive right away. I’m not sure that’s the best strategy. At the ceilidh, Bo tells Lauren they have a lot 
to talk about and they immediately start making out like crazy. At the inquisition, we learn the history of the Una Mens: after the great Fae War, the Blood King’s line became corrupted and a rebellion started. The rebels came together, agreeing to sacrifice their individuality to form some kind of Fae gestalt, without ego or ambition, and invited the Blood King to join them. The Blood King agreed to the deal, which involved each member swallowed a sacred papyrus seed, but the Blood King stole his seed and vanished (obviously the seed Trick has locked in his vault … I guess it wasn’t an egg after all). The Keeper says if the Blood King could be found and brought into the Una Mens, they’d have the power to enforce his laws, unchallenged. It seems like the Keeper is basically telling Trick he can still join them if he wants. Of course, Trick is understandably reluctant.
At the ceilidh, Kenzi tries to explain the difference between Light and Dark to Tamsin
(“Well, the Light are assholes, and the Dark are … assholes.”), but she’s distracted when she finds Bruce the troll under the sushi spread. He says it’s his punishment, but Kenzi tells him to get up. When she goes to grab a tablecloth to cover him, she finds a couple of dead newlyweds under a table. Bruce says the Dark would never pay for a party like that, so I guess they killed the newlyweds and hijacked their reception. Bo and Lauren are still getting reacquainted and Bo tells her about being Dark and her search for Vex. Lauren says the Morrigan has been hiding her from the Una 
Mens and they make out some more. The Morrigan walks in (“Bo-ring! What’s next, are you gonna braid each other’s hair? Scissor already!”) and says she’ll give Bo a way of tracking Vex down if Bo swears to bring him to her. She says Lauren has to whip up a drug that’ll make Vex compliant, then introduces them to someone who’s going to help them, a woman named Pietra. Pietra is enthusiastic about working with Bo (she refers to the three of them as Evony’s angels … Evony being the Morrigan’s real name). Bo and Lauren make out some more (and possibly bang, I’m not sure).
Pietra turns out to be a Scavenger Fae (who can track down missing people or objects) and continues to weird Bo and Lauren out with her forced camaraderie. She finds a half-dead bridesmaid in a garbage heap in an alley and finishes her off with a fancy-looking
knife. I have no idea why the bridesmaid had the knife … or maybe Pietra had it all along and had to use it to activate it? It’s not very clear. Anyway, Pietra shows the knife to Bo and Lauren, who recognizes it as the Scimitar of Cronus. Pietra says the Una Mens poisoned Vex so he can’t leave town and he needs the scimitar to cut the binding magic. Pietra says Vex hired her to steal the scimitar for him, but she’s really working for the Morrigan. Unfortunately, she has no way of contacting Vex, so they have to draw him out somehow. Pietra says she last met him near the railway bridge not far from Dyson’s place, which is the last place anyone would look for him. Bo figures they can use Pietra to draw Vex out.
Back at the party, Bruce says he was given as property to a Dark Fae as punishment for helping Kenzi, but another Fae can claim him. Kenzi gets Tamsin to claim him, which invokes a formal challenge from Bruce’s current master, who looks pretty bad ass. In an alley, Pietra parades up and down to try and catch Vex’s attention. Bo and Lauren talk, but before Lauren can fill her in on everything (including her real identity as Karen Beattie) a woman who looks like a mail carrier (or something similar) shows up and takes the scimitar from Pietra. By the robotic way she’s moving,
the woman is obviously being controlled by Vex and Bo follows her, with Lauren’s immobilizing drug in hand. Bo follows the woman back to an abandoned gym (I’m not sure if it’s meant to be the same one Dyson works out in) and finds Vex. Vex says he knows nothing about Bo being Dark and that the Wanderer is just a tall tale told among Fae. He’s ready to leave town and can’t let Bo stop him; his controlled woman attacks Bo, who pounds her, but Vex knocks Bo out with the drug she was going to use on him. We see that his right hand is really fucked up, all atrophied and rotten.
Bo wakes up completely immobilized (even her succubus power doesn’t work) and gives Vex shit, but he says he’s got his own problems. His hand seems to be getting worse and 
he keeps sharpening the scimitar. Hmmm, I wonder what he’s going to do with it? Back at the party, Tamsin is nervous but Kenzi tries to psyche her up. The Morrigan flips a coin and says Tamsin can choose the method of combat; Tamsin says, I just wanna dance!”, so the contest becomes a dance-off … to the death. At the gym, Bo gushes about being back together with Lauren until Vex gags her. Vex tells Bo that he’s the last Mesmer alive; all the others were hunted down by the Fae, who feared their power. Their hands were cut off so they could no longer feed and they all died a slow, agonizing death. Vex prepares to cut his corrupted hand off, saying at least he still has the other one. Bo starts to get some movement back in one of her hands.
At the party, Tamsin does some really fucked-up dancing, despite Kenzi’s attempt to coach her. The challenger does some old-school, 80s breakdance shit that makes Tamsin’s stuff look wack. Tamsin uses her Valkyrie power to make her opponent doubt
herself just as she’s doing a flip, and she breaks her neck, leaving Tamsin victorious. The Morrigan congratulates her and everyone starts dancing around the corpse. At the gym (which is the same gym where Dyson lives), the potion Vex brewed as an anesthetic doesn’t work, leaving him in even more pain. Bo tries to talk him out of cutting his hand off, saying he hid at the gym because he knows she and Kenzi and even Dyson are the closest thing Vex has to family now. But the pain is too much and Vex chops his hand off, despite a now ambulatory Bo trying to stop him.
Vex tells Bo he doesn’t know how she ended up pledged to the Dark, but says the Morrigan’s archivist would know. Bo realizes the Morrigan was just using her (big 
surprise) and Vex asks her to let him go instead of dragging him back to be tortured to death. At the Morrigan’s office, Bo gives her Vex’s hand but she says she needs all of him to get rid of the Una Mens. She says she doesn’t hold a grudge and suggests Bo claim Vex if she wants to protect him … so Bo does. The Morrigan’s archivist peels some skin off his head and shows Bo the Dark contract she supposedly signed, sponsored by someone named Rainer. The Morrigan doesn’t know who Rainer is, but says he’s the only one who can void Bo’s contract with the Dark.
At the inquisition, Trick prepares to attack the Keeper, but she informs him the Una Mens have chosen him as acting Ash. Lauren tells Bo she won’t be coming home with
her. She says when she ran from the Una Mens, the Light didn’t even bother looking for her, but the Dark actually tracked her down to offer sanctuary. I guess we know who Crystal was working for. Lauren says she doesn’t want to be claimed by anyone, not even Bo; the Dark let her come and go as she pleases and if she’s going to be a prisoner, she’d like to choose her own prison. Since Bo is trying to get away from the Dark, she’s not thrilled at Lauren’s decision; so, I guess they’re broken up again.
At the Dal, Trick tells Bo about being named acting Ash and looks at her contract with the 
dark, which he says is legit. He says they can find out who Rainer is by checking the King’s Book of Records. I Trick’s vault, we see the box that contained the last papyrus seed lying open … and empty. The archivist presents the Una Mens Keeper with Bo’s contract and the Keeper looks up Rainer in a book (presumably the same Book Trick was talking about). The letters seem to swim upon the page and the Keeper freaks out … at least, as much as an emotionless person can freak out. So, is Rainer the Wanderer, aka Bo’s father? We’ll have to wait to find out.