Comics Reviews: Flash 250, Wonder Woman 232, Green Lantern 95

Flash 250 coverFlash #250 – “One Freeze-Dried Flash—Coming Right Up!” –  Cary Bates/Irv Novick/Vince Colletta

This issue introduces Golden Glider, Captain Cold’s sister. She’s got some hate for the Flash … why? Let’s read on and see. We start with Flash running along a street at super speed (as he does), but he runs through some letters frozen in mid-air. Of course, that means he’s about to mix it up with Captain Cold. They fight and Cold uses a new compound to freeze Flash’s boots to the pavement. Whatever it is, the stuff is so sticky Flash can’t vibrate it away, so it looks like Cold might have Flash right where he wants him. He blastsFlash disappears Flash with his cold gun and the Scarlet Speedster disappears. Don’t worry, he’s not dead; he just vibrated to safety, leaving his boots behind. But right after Cold zaps Flash, someone snags his cold gun away from him. He goes after them and we get our first look at Golden Glider aka Lisa Snart, Captain Cold’s sister. She says she doesn’t want Flash dead yet, because he hasn’t suffered enough for what he did to Roscoe. Who’s Roscoe? That would be Roscoe Dillon, better known as the Top, who died back in Flash #243. We get some flashbacks and learn that Top taught Golden Glider how to spin really fast and she ended up becoming a champion figure skater. They were also lovers, so when Top died fighting Flash, Glider swore revenge. After analyzing the residue on his costume, Barry concludes that Cold’s Golden Glidernew gun can freeze-dry things instantly. A box arrives at police HQ addressed to Flash. He takes the box away at super speed, but that activates Cold’s trap … an iceberg that gets bigger by the minute. Flash drills inside and melts it with friction. Cold is on a nearby rooftop getting ready to freeze-dry the Flash, but Golden Glider gasses him before he can pull the trigger. That’s how you really know someone wants revenge … when they save your life just so they can inflict more pain. Golden Glider steals Cold’s freeze-dry gun and takes off before Flash sees her. Back at Barry’s place, he’s ambushed and smooched by Daphne Dean, his old girlfriend. We get a recap of her plotline from the last couple of issues, then Iris comes in and tells BarryDaphne exposed Daphne’s been lying to him. She faked her amnesia because she was practicing for the part of an amnesiac in an upcoming movie and figured if she could fool Barry, the audience would buy it too. I’m not sure about that logic, but Daphne says she’s leaving. Iris walks out too, though I’m not sure why she’s so worked up; she exposed Daphne as a fraud, so she should be happy. Maybe there was something else on the tapes Daphne made of her and Barry. Outside, Barry changes to Flash for some reason and tries to talk to Iris. Unfortunately, Golden Glider is hiding nearby (having tracked Flash’s super speed aura with one of the Top’s gizmos), and figures out that Flash is hot for Iris. Glider sends some deadly tops after them and Flash gets caught in an energy aura. He tries to bust out, but can only watch helplessly as Golden Glider uses Cold’s gun to freeze-dry Iris. So, I guess Iris is dead. No wait, that doesn’t happen for a few years yet! We’ll see what does happen with Iris next issue.Iris zapped

Noticeable Things:

  • Golden Glider gets around by skating everywhere thanks to one ofGolden Glider the Top’s inventions. Her skates manufacture ice under her feet so she can just zip along wherever she wants.
  • When Daphne kisses him, Barry seems more worried about Iris seeing them than about the kiss itself.
  • Iris looks kind of androgynous with her short hair and pantsuit.
  • Golden Glider can read lips, which seems like a bit of plot handwaving.
  • I’m not sure why Golden Glider didn’t hold off for a bit after finding out Flash and Iris were together. She could’ve figured out his secret ID. Maybe she was just too impatient.

Wonder Woman 232 coverWonder Woman #232 – “A Duel of Gods” – Martin Pasko/Mike Nasser/Vinnie Colletta

This continues where last issue left off, with Wonder Woman and the JSA trapped, and Steve Trevor getting busy with Osira. Wonder Woman is hauled off to a cell and imprisoned in an energy pyramid like the other JSAers. Osira gives Steve a rundown of her origin (came from space, built pyramids, slept for thousands of years, wants to bring peace to Earth now and bang Steve, who looks just like her husband from 9000 years ago—you know, the usual). While Osira exposits for us, Wonder Woman uses her magic lasso (which the guardsWW escapes cell didn’t think worth confiscating) to spin herself into the floor and pop back up outside the energy pyramid. She realizes Osira’s power is limited and goes after her just as Steve is being taken over by the spirit of Osira’s husband. They fight and Wonder Woman’s making some headway, but she’s jumped by a mind-controlled Steve. She uses him as a shield, reasoning Osira won’t kill him because her husband’s spirit is still inside him. Osira blasts the JSA, but instead of killing them, she mind-controls them to go after Wonder Woman. WW brings down the pyramid and takes off for Giza, but she’s quickly followed by Starman, Mr. Terrific, and Atom.WW vs JSA She fights them, while Osira digs herself out of the rubble and sends Sandman and Johnny Thunder after WW as well. Johnnny Thunder tells his T-Bolt to help Starman against Wonder Woman, but by taking Johnny’s orders literally (“give Starman a hand”) he manages to help WW instead. As they’re fighting, the Sphinx gets smashed to pieces … whoops.

Sphinx totalled
Who added the “H”?

She magics Johnny to look after Steve and fights Osira again, finally getting the upper hand. Osira laments not being able to bring peace, but her dead husband’s spirit agrees with Diana and they merge and shoot off into the cosmos together. With Osira gone, Steve and the JSA are back to normal. Steve and WW take off, leaving the JSA to (somehow) rebuild the Sphinx.

Noticeable Things:

  • I’m not sure when (or how) Osira rendered Wonder Woman unconscious at the beginning of the issue.
  • When Wonder Woman comes out of the destroyed pyramid, she sends her “infinitely long” lasso miles through the air, loops it around the Sphinx at Giza, and yanks herself there, all within a few seconds. I know the lasso’s magic, but that seems like a stretch (pun intended); maybe Pasko thought the Sphinx was right next door and when someone pointed out it wasn’t, he added the dialogue to cover his mistake?
  • Diana’s reasons for opposing Osira’s forced peace seem to have changed a bit since last issue. Now she says the world leaders might freak out if Osira ever lost control over them and attack each other even harder. She does still say Osira’s brainwashing would be a “worse kind of tyranny than Hitler’s”; I think Diana might be a little off on that one.
  • Osira’s husband says “You do not wear the centuries well.” I assume he means mentally, because Osira looks pretty damn good for being 9000 years old.
  • I like Mike Nasser’s art. His action scenes are dynamic, and his Wonder Woman and Osira look pretty hot.

    Osira from behind
    That’s quite the angle … I wonder if anyone modelled for that shot?

Green Lantern 95 coverGreen Lantern #95 – “Terminal for a Tragedy” – Denny O’Neil/Mike Grell/Vince Colletta

Continuing from last issue, we see John Stewart and Hal Jordan in space about to be pulled into a black dwarf star (or something), and Green Arrow being told to assassinate the president or Black Canary will be killed. Arrow tries to lull Colonel Krisp into a false sense of security so he can make his move. He takes out Krisp and his thugs, but the machine Black Canary’s tied to starts pulling her apart.Black Canary in machine We jump to John and Hal in space. Before they get pulled into the black hole, they’re pulled into a funky-looking spaceship by some red-faced aliens. Luckily, they’re friendly and they analyze Hal’s condition. Apparently his psyche is being attacked by something, but they can put him in their “Telluratron”, where he’ll have to face—and conquer—his biggest fear. John says Hal has no fear, since he’s a Green Lantern, but the alien says even if he has no external fears, there’s a “dread hidden deep within” everyone. Are we about to see the first appearance of Parallax? (Spoiler: we’re not.) We see inside Hal’s soul as he meets his adversary,GL fights himself who looks kinda like a clean-shaven Abe Lincoln to me. Back on Earth, Krisp stops the device before Black Canary is ripped apart and Arrow agrees to kill the pres. But he says he needs to build his own bow, since Krisp’s stuff was so shitty. Back inside Hal Jordan’s mind, the entity he’s confronting turns out to be himself, representing his own feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. Good thing John didn’t get in the machine, or it woulda blown up from all his insecurity. Hal beats his doppleganger and comes out of the machine all better. The alien offers to take them back to Earth. Speaking of Earth, Green Arrow is set to waste the president as Krisp’s boys keep an eye on him. Krisp is at the meeting with the president (which I guess is some kind of summit meeting?) and when Green Arrow shoots the pres, the arrow releases some kind of chemical that freezes everyone, including Krisp. GA freezes everyoneThe president’s guards in a hovering chopper try to blast Green Arrow, but Krisp’s thug gets killed instead. Hal and John show up just in time to rescue Green Arrow and they take Krisp into custody. They tell Arrow they already rescued Black Canary, so she and Ollie are reunited and everything turns out happy for everyone—well, except Krisp, I guess, but he’s an asshole, so who cares?

Noticeable Things:

  • Krisp says the current president is a traitor who “gives aid to lesser nations”; I wonder it that was meant to refer to Carter?
  • Krisp says the pres is protected by a device that detects all metal within 200 yards, so Green Arrow can kill him with a plastic/fiberglass bow and arrow. Wouldn’t the Secret Service guys have guns, though? Or is Krisp exempting them from his 200 yard “no metal” zone?
  • John Stewart’s constant self-doubt gets old really fast.
  • The caption said an indeterminate amount of time (possibly days or even weeks) has passed while Hal and John were in space and GA was building his bow, but Ollie’s beard hasn’t grown back, so how long could it have been? (Unless he kept shaving every day?)
  • Krisp says no metal weapons can be used within 200 yards of the president, but even in the 70s there must’ve been sniper rifles with longer ranges than that.

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