Episode 5: Faes Wide Shut
This one starts with a scene many people might envy (or at least, think they’d envy), as Lauren helps Bo pick out someone to have wild sex with. She rejects a good-looking dude (he’s a Hydra with nine heads … but they aren’t on his neck) and a hot girl who’s taken a thousand-year vow of chastity. Bo asks Lauren if she’s really okay with the whole “open relationship” thing and Lauren says she’s fine, as long as Bo stays away from Dyson. Obviously one human can’t satisfy a succubus’s sexual hunger, so Lauren’s doing the only thing she can if she wants to keep seeing Bo. After grossing Trick out by telling him why they’re there, Lauren reassures Bo (again) that she’s fine with Bo getting sustenance elsewhere sometimes (and mentions that her “pubeo-coccygeal muscles could use the break”).
That’s when Emma Nelson walks in—well, it’s Miriam McDonald, who played Emma on Degrassi The Next Generation, but I’m going to refer to her as Emma Nelson since her character isn’t given a name. (Seriously, in the credits she’s referred to as “Hot Fae”.) Both Bo and Lauren immediately decide she’s the one … and she does look pretty damn good. Elsewhere, we see some guy come home and down a couple slugs of booze while staring at an ornate key. His wife comes out, in some sexy lingerie, and asks why he’s back so soon. He tries to tell her something, but dissolves into a puddle of slime.
At home, Bo’s banging Emma Nelson while Lauren and Kenzi wait downstairs. Lauren is taking samples before and after poontang so she can improve the formula that suppresses Bo’s succubus urges. Who says romance is dead? Kenzi’s acting weird and when she sees something online, she runs upstairs to tell Bo, interrupting her fun times with Emma. Kenzi says there have been several instances of humans turning into goo and thinks they should investigate. Bo says she’s a tad busy, so Kenzi tries to guilt her. Since the mood is totally ruined anyway, Bo heads downstairs and listens to Kenzi describe the incident we saw in the opening. Kenzi adds that some guys claiming to be the “authorities” showed up very quickly and cleaned the place, taking the dead guy’s phone and other personal effects. Kenzi guilts Bo a bit more, saying they haven’t spent much time together lately, so Bo says they can check things out. She sends Lauren and Kenzi to talk to the widow while she goes back upstairs for another round with Emma Nelson.
At the widow’s house, Lauren extracts slime from cracks in the floor as Kenzi talks to the distraught wife. She says her husband had been distant lately and the “spark” was missing from the bedroom. She seems to be under the impression that Kenzi and Lauren are with a TV show called “Paranormal Hot-vestigators” … I’d watch that. Another woman named Delia shows up, looking for the dead husband. She says she was his lover and she and the wife start fighting. Bo shows up and uses her succubus mojo to calm them. Delia tells Bo she and the dead guy were at a cool club the previous night when he just took off. Bo and Kenzi check it out and find it to be one of those Stanley Kubrick sex clubs that we keep hearing about. Bo refers to it as a smorgasbord, adding “I haven’t see this many delicious buns since Bake-Off night at the Dal”.
Bo gets a call from Lauren saying the residue she found was some kind of Fae secretion that liquefied the dead guy and it could’ve been sexually transmitted.
Bo’s feeling the sexual energy at the club, which bothers Lauren a bit, but she pretends to be cool with it. Bo asks Kenzi about a weird voice-mail she left and they’re approached by the concierge of the sex club, who says someone named Roman wants to see Bo. She tells Kenzi to look for Fae macking on humans and Kenzi asks for Bo’s phone so she can take pictures. Elsewhere, Dyson and Tamsin check out a dead woman who’s been beaten, strangled, and dumped. Dyson identifies her as Fae and we see that it’s Emma Nelson. It’s weird to see Dyson examining the body, as Kris-Holden Reid and Miriam McDonald had a couple of scenes together on Degrassi … nothing like this, though. Dyson takes a second whiff and says he can smell Bo on the body too.
At the club, Bo sees Roman, the guy who runs the place, and he turns out to be Fae. He’s a Bacchus, a Fae that feeds off human debauchery and pleasure. He zaps Bo with a wand and she says it’s like a Fae version of Ecstasy. She tries to charm Roman so she can interrogate him and when they’re alone, she asks what’s the craziest thing he ever did in bed. He answers “sleep”. Dyson and Tamsin take Emma Nelson to Lauren for an autopsy. Lauren pretends not to recognize her and gets worked up because Tamsin thinks Bo killed her. Lauren promises to do a full autopsy and texts Bo about the body as soon as Dyson and Tamsin leave. Kenzi deletes the text and notices some people going into a back room after showing a fancy key to the doorman. She approaches, but is told only keyholders are allowed in. Bo is still trying to get information from Roman, but her mojo doesn’t work on him. She leaves and Roman tells his concierge to pay a visit to the dead human’s wife and girlfriend. He adds that if Bo returns to the club, he should cut her throat.
Bo goes to the cop shop and tells Dyson about Roman’s club. Dyson says Roman is Light Fae, so if he’s leaving a trail of bodies he’ll be in shit. Before he can warn Bo about Emma Nelson’s death, Tamsin shows up and practically accuses Bo of killing her. At the Dal, Kenzi is blowing bubbles in her beer and Lauren’s wondering why Bo hasn’t answered any of her texts. Kenzi says Bo’s at the cop shop with Dyson and Lauren mentions that Emma Nelson is dead (Kenzi: “That cupcake Bo was eating in bed?”) Kenzi starts stirring the shit, trying to make Lauren wonder if there’s something going on between Bo and Dyson. We’ve seen Kenzi act insecure before, but never outright backstabby; there’s obviously something more going on here.
Trick asks what’s up and when he hears about the Bacchanalian sex club, he says he has one of the fancy keys. He tells Kenzi he was a member back in the 1870s, when it was more of a social club (though he does mention they used to look at racy daguerrotypes). He offers to go with her, but Kenzi stirs some more shit, making him think Bo’s mad because he didn’t try to find her when she was growing up.
He gives her the key and she leaves, after asking him how much she owes him for the beer. Yeah, that ain’t Kenzi. At the cop shop, Bo is being interrogated and Tamsin obviously thinks she killed Emma Nelson (and brings up the Dark Fae dude who’s still in a coma). Bo says she’s innocent and Kenzi busts in and backs her up, saying she saw Emma walk out the door. Kenzi shows Bo the key and Dyson says she’s free to go, but Tamsin says she and Dyson are going to stick to Bo like glue until the autopsy results are in.
At home, Kenzi’s acting really clingy and tells Bo Lauren is the one who narced to the cops about Emma Nelson. Lauren calls and says she may have a remedy for the Fae secretion. When she hears Dyson is accompanying Bo to the club, she’s upset but doesn’t let on, and Bo doesn’t let on about what Kenzi said. At the club, Tamsin is still suspicious and Lauren shows up (looking fine) with the antidote. Bo, Lauren, and Kenzi head into the private room as Dyson and Tamsin talk to Roman, who tells them to look around all they want. In the private room, Bo and the others find a chamber where humans walk in two by two to experience pure sexual ecstasy. Lauren recognizes the sound of an Underfae called a Manta (Bo: “Holy Octopussy.”) and realizes the Manta’s secretions are what’s been infecting the humans. Bo cuts the line and Lauren says everyone who’s banged the Manta will need a shot of antidote, which clears the room pretty fast. Lauren is grabbed by the doorman and the concierge comes in and says to kill them all. Bo gets pissed off and pulls a knife.
In Roman’s chambers, Dyson finds a weird spotlight-looking thing and sees two captive humans (the dead guy’s wife and girlfriend) are inside. Roman doesn’t seem worried at Dyson’s discovery. There’s a stand-off in the sex room and Kenzi’s feeling left out so she pretends to faint into the concierge’s arms, then screams “Kenzi-hawk down!” to get Bo’s attention. In Roman’s chamber, he tries to talk his way out of trouble, then blasts Tamsin with his wand. He says he lost the ability to feel pleasure because of centuries of kinky shit, and a Bacchus who can’t feel pleasure is nothing. He mated with the Manta (Tamsin: “Wait, you banged a sea-cow?”), who can transfer pleasure from humans straight to Roman’s neurons. He tries to blast Dyson, but Dyson reflects the blast back with a shiny dish, killing Roman.
In the sex room, Bo’s eyes go evil-blue and she gets intense, beating the fuck out of the two guys (which Kenzi seems to enjoy). Lauren talks her down by reminding her how they first met and how much she loves her. Bo finally snaps out of it and keels over in Lauren’s arms. Later, Lauren tells Bo Roman is dead and all the humans will recover. Also, the Manta shrivelled up and died when they turned off its environmental controls. Bo’s worried about her freak-out and Lauren tries to reassure her. She says she doesn’t want to be privy to any of Bo’s “feedings” from now on, and they make plans for dinner. After Bo leaves, Lauren calls someone and says she thinks something’s wrong with Bo.
At the cop shop, the autopsy results are inconclusive, but Dyson admits Bo’s freak-out at the club has him worried. He says Bo might have killed Emma Nelson and not even be aware of it. He also thinks Lauren might be covering for Bo, so he says he’ll pursue the investigation wherever it leads … which makes Tamsin happy. At home, Kenzi has prepared a big dinner for her and Bo and isn’t happy when Bo says she already has dinner plans. (Kenzi: “But eating’s our thing.”) Bo tells Kenzi to eat first and when she does, Bo grabs her by the throat and slams her into a pillar. Kenzi is deathly allergic to peanuts (in which the Thai noodles she just scarfed are swimming) so Bo asks where the hell the real Kenzi is … and that’s the end of the episode. Wow, two cliffhangers in a row!