This one starts with Daniel Dickinson, Pete and Myka’s old Secret Service boss, in his office in Washington. An intruder comes in and uses an artifact (a chain) that causes all Dickinson’s bones to break at the same time. Not a pleasant way to die. Since Dickinson was already logged in to his computer, the killer calls up Artie’s file, along with Pete and Myka’s. In the Warehouse, Pete and Myka return from a night of bowling (Pete got his ass handed to him) just in time for some awkwardness. Seems Claudia was supposed to go get shelf brackets from the hardware store, but didn’t because she was afraid of seeing Todd again after he so unceremoniously dumped her. Myka and Leena understand, but Artie is just bored by Claudia’s romantic woes and Pete says everyone needs to grow up … a statement immediately belied by his cell phone ringtone, “C is for Cookie”. It’s his old girlfriend, Kate Logan (played by Tia Carrere), calling about Dickinson. Artie and Myka get calls almost simultaneously. They rush to Washington, where Kate shows them Dickinson’s body, with every bone dislocated. Pete and Myka are freaked out and say they’ll do anything to find who’s responsible. Artie shocks them by saying it’s his fault.
Artie knows the damage was caused by a chain from Torquemada’s Rack. (Pete: “Who is this Torquemada woman?”; Artie: Different rack entirely.”) Myka and Pete knew Artie had contact with the Russians back when he was with the NSA in the 70s, but it turns out he wasn’t trading State secrets … he traded artifacts. Artie didn’t know what they were at the time; the Soviets told him they were antiques and other crap that they wanted, and they were willing to trade political prisoners for them. When Artie figured out the junk he was trading was actually artifacts he turned himself in and Mrs. Frederick recruited him for the Warehouse, changing his identity. Now someone has used one of the artifacts he traded to kill Dickinson, but why?
At Dickinson’s funeral, Myka goes off for some alone time and runs into H.G. Wells. Myka tells her Artie isn’t down with her coming back to the Warehouse … or existing at all, really. Myka’s not in the mood to be sympathetic and forces Wells to spill about why she was bronzed. Wells says when her daughter was senselessly murdered, she tried to find a way to bring her back—or undo the murder—using Warehouse resources. The Regents were lenient, until she got another agent killed. Wells herself requested to be bronzed, thinking she’d have a fresh start once she woke up. Kinda her way of traveling forward in time, I guess. She gives Myka a number to reach her and says she’ll help find Torquemada’s chain if she can.
Artie talks to his old NSA boss (Joe), and someone nearby takes photos of them. At the boardinghouse, Leena arranges a lunch between Claudia and Todd. Claudia’s not happy at the subterfuge, but tries to make the best of it. There are obviously still some feelings between them, and Todd is about to say something profound when he gets a text and takes off like his ass is on fire. Leena comes in and says Todd is a typical dude, saying one thing but doing the opposite. She tells Claudia to be patient and work on Todd slowly, but Claudia’s not exactly known for her patience, so she takes off after Todd. In Washington, Joe, Artie’s old NSA boss is killed, this time with an old piece of board that radiates freezing cold. When Artie, Kate, and Myka show up later, Artie quickly realizes the weapon is another artifact he traded … a timber from the Titanic found clutched by a survivor that somehow became imbued with the property to emit freezing temperatures. Artie hacks Joe’s computer to see what the killer accessed and finds a list of Russian names. The names belong to the same people he got released from the GULAG when he was trading artifacts … and it turns out they’re all relatives of his. Pete comes in with video footage that shows H.G. Wells was in the office around the time Joe was killed.
Myka admits she spoke to Wells, which doesn’t make Artie too happy. Myka shows him the address Wells gave her (the Archer Hotel) and they head over to see if she’s there. In Univille, Claudia goes to the hardware store to see what’s up with Todd and sees him duck into an alley. She sneaks up (with “Pumped Up Kicks” playing in the background) and snaps a photo of Todd meeting some shady dude in the alley, who gives him a package. Unfortunately, Todd notices her less-than-subtle surveillance and she has to get the hell out of there. At the hotel, Myka, Pete, and Artie bust in, but Wells isn’t there. She calls them on the room’s phone to say she had nothing to do with killing Dickinson or Joe, but she did see someone taking photos of Joe and Artie at the funeral. She followed the guy to the NSA, but lost him. She’s willing to share what she found if Artie takes her cooperation into consideration. Artie’s not interested, but Myka convinces him it might be their only lead.
Artie relents and Wells tells him to look in the bible on the nightstand. He finds a playing card, the king of hearts, left by the killer. Artie says his old Russian contact (Alexander) used to leave that card when he wanted to meet, but Alexander is supposed to be in prison. After Artie turned himself in, Alexander’s government considered him a liability and threw his ass in prison, but he’s apparently out now and not too happy. He got info on Artie from Dickinson’s computer, and info on Artie’s family from Joe’s, so he’s obviously going after those family members. Artie says he has to get to Moscow as soon as possible, and Pete and Myka say they’re coming too.
In Moscow, Artie says there are too many relatives to warn them all, so they have to find Alexander. But they have to be careful, since their visit isn’t government sanctioned. Pete and Myka would probably get deported, but Artie will be executed as a spy if he’s caught. They go to Alexander’s old safe-house, but he’s not there. Someone is though, and tosses a couple of croquet balls down the chimney. Naturally they’re artifacts (Charles II’s croquet balls, charged with the fury of a king) and one of the balls starts bouncing around like a blaster shot in a garbage compacter. Artie manages to get out the door, leaving Pete and Myka to dodge the ricocheting ball. Pete gets an idea and has Myka open the refrigerator while he winds up with a coal shovel from the fireplace. Pete hits a dinger, knocking the ball into the fridge where Myka traps it. When they get outside, all they find is Artie’s hat and bag.
Back home, Claudia has been digging into Todd’s past (thoroughly) and finds that all available info on him was entered into various databases on the exact same day, six months ago … right before he moved to Univille. Claudia wonders if he’s using her to get to the Warehouse and wants to confront him. Leena tries to talk her out of it and Claudia pretends to go along with her, but as soon as Leena leaves, she calls Todd. Todd meanwhile has been looking into Claudia, figuring out she’s not really with the IRS. When she phones, he agrees to meet her in the park, but decides to bring along a gun. In Moscow, Pete and Myka realize they’re being followed and split up to confuse their shadow. It turns out to be Wells, who slipped a tracker in Myka’s pocket at the funeral. (Myka says she knew all along, which elicits admiration from Wells; if the two of them don’t end up banging, I’ll be surprised.) Pete breaks up the mutual admiration society and asks if Wells is tracking Artie too. Wells is surprised that Artie’s missing, but tells them Alexander can’t be responsible, since he died in prison thirteen years ago.
Artie wakes up chained in a warehouse, where he finds his captor is Alexander’s son, Ivan. Ivan blames Artie for his father’s imprisonment and death, and he wants payback. Pete, Myka, and Wells are going through Artie’s bag to see if they can find something to help locate him. Pete’s not thrilled about teaming up with Wells (“Two Mykas … this’ll be fun.”), but doesn’t see much choice. They figure Artie’s glasses case (which Claudia rigged so he could find his glasses when he inevitably loses them) can lead them to him … except Artie lost the receiver weeks ago. Pete suggests using Wells’s receiver instead.
In Univille, Claudia and Todd have a confrontation and Claudia figures out Todd is in Witness Protection. (The shady guy in the alley was his handler.) Todd says he’s an IT guy who saw some info on a mobster’s hard drive and had to go underground before testifying. He says his handler is mad because he’s not supposed to get close to anyone, let alone fall in love. Claudia is thrilled—not with the love part, with the fact that Todd’s really a tech geek. They start making out like crazy. In Russia, Wells, Myka, and Pete track Artie’s glasses to the warehouse, but he’s nowhere to be seen. They head inside and hear him screaming, as Ivan tortures him with Torquemada’s chain. (Ivan has a host of other artifacts to use on Artie, including some jacks; I can’t imagine what those do.) While opening a door, Wells and Pete make some noise, so Ivan punches Artie out and goes to check. Wells goes down one corridor and Pete and Myka try another.
Wells finds Artie first, but before she can free him Ivan shows up and uses the Titanic timber to freeze her. Artie says he doesn’t care what happens to Wells since she’s no friend of his. Wells manages to shoot one of Artie’s manacles off and he knocks Ivan around a bit. He gives Wells the Titanic timber, telling her to clutch it as tight as possible; that reverses the freezing effect. Ivan gets up and is about to waste Artie with Torquemada’s chain when Pete zaps him with the Tesla gun. At the boardinghouse, Todd and Claudia are making out (and he’s getting her hot with his nerdy computer talk), but his handler wants to move him to a new location, so he and Claudia have to say goodbye. Claudia says she’ll find him again, but I think this is actually the last we’ll see of old Todd.
At the Warehouse, Myka’s pissed off that Artie turned Wells over to the Regents. Artie introduces Myka and Pete to a guy named Kosan, who’s … well, I’m not sure who he is exactly, but he seems to be above the Regents in the pecking order, and says that he makes the decisions about personnel. And his decision is that Wells is more of an asset than a liability, so she’s being reinstated as a Warehouse agent … thanks to a complimentary report from Myka. Wells is grateful and Myka seems happy to have her on the team. Pete’s welcome is more muted, but probably sincere. Artie’s reaction is the opposite of welcoming; he doesn’t trust Wells and says they’ll regret ever letting her back into the Warehouse. Could he be right? Is Wells’s altruism just a really elaborate long con? We’ll have to wait until future episodes to find out.