This one starts with Veronica asking Abel Koontz’s lawyer (Cliff, who’s worked with the Mars Detective Agency frequently) to get her in to see Koontz. She’s discovered some evidence that makes her think Koontz’s confession is bogus, but Cliff says Koontz just fired him so he can’t really help her. She insists and Cliff promises he’ll forward a letter to Koontz, but doesn’t think he’ll agree to meet her. Veronica reminds him how persuasive she can be. At school, Veronica comes out of the shower after gym class to find someone has stolen her clothes. Well, not stolen exactly, just relocated … into a nearby toilet. Another girl (Meg Manning) offers Veronica something to wear, but all she has to spare is her cheerleader outfit. Meg invites Veronica to have lunch with her and some of the other rich kids, but Veronica would rather run home and change.
Meg’s friends are taking an online “purity test”, where you answer a bunch of personal questions (Have you ever smoked pot? Have you ever shoplifted? Have you ever done reverse-cowgirl? You know … the usual) and the program spits out your purity score. The lower the score, the less pure you are, which is bad for your rep … unless you’re a guy, in which case it’s probably great. Meg’s boyfriend Cole says he got a 91, which makes her happy. Not surprising, since Cole says they haven’t even made it to second base yet. Another girl named Pam (who seems to have the hots for Duncan) scored a 63, though she tries to downplay it.
At Wallace’s house, Veronica asks what he got on the purity test and he says a 70. Since anything under 70 is considered bad-ass, he figures he missed being cool by one point. Veronica unzips her shirt and flashes him (she’s wearing a sports bra, so no big deal) to put him over the edge into cool territory, but his mom (Alicia) walks in right at that moment. She gives Wallace shit for hanging out with Veronica; apparently Alicia believes all the gossip about the Mars family being terrible people and wishes Wallace would hang out with a more respectable crowd. Wallace tells Veronica not to worry about it, but she’s soon distracted when she finds an interesting website. Someone is offering to sell the results of any student’s purity test for ten dollars. Veronica thinks school tomorrow is going to be a hell of a lot of fun.
And she’s right … school is a madhouse, with couples fighting, friends getting mad about who banged who, and purity scores scrawled on everyone’s locker. Meg has a 48 on her locker and Veronica watches as Cole gives her shit for supposedly banging some tour guide from a vacation they went on last summer. Meg says she’s never banged anyone and didn’t even take the purity test, but Cole doesn’t believe her. Veronica does, and she offers to find out who posted the fake test results under Meg’s name. She tries the computer science teacher, but he’s really a gym teacher, so he directs her to another student named Mac. Veronica finds Mac in the parking lot trying to open her crappy old car, inside of which she’s locked her keys. Veronica pulls a Repo Man and opens the car, then asks Mac (whose name is actually Cindy Mackenzie) for help. Mac says anyone could take the purity test, but only Meg or the IT guy would be able to post results from Meg’s account.
When Veronica is over at Wallace’s place getting a photo taken, she notices one of Alicia’s tenants (Jeremy) giving her a hard time. He’s two months behind on the rent, but doesn’t seem to care and is pretty rude to Alicia when she mentions it. At school, Meg is still being tormented by the other students, even when she’s doing the school news announcements. Veronica asks if anyone else knows Meg’s password and she says her sister Lizzie might. Veronica talks to Lizzie (who’s Meg’s younger sister, but looks older, if you know what I mean), who says it sucks being constantly compared to Meg by teachers, friends, and parents and never measuring up.
Veronica talks to the IT guy (Renny DeMouy, a good-looking French dude), and tries to wheedle a password out of him. He refuses, even after she offers money, so she figures he probably didn’t give Meg’s password to anyone. Veronica goes to watch auditions for the school play (Cabaret), where meg’s friend Kimmy tries out and does pretty well. But Meg sounds like a pro, blowing Kimmy out of the water, at least until some guys in the audience start fake-sneezing the word “slut” at her. Meg runs off and Veronica follows to console her. They stop by Veronica’s locker, which has the number 14 written on it, so Veronica points out that Meg is now the second-biggest slut in school. Veronica’s not really surprised someone came after her, just that it took them so long.
Veronica sends Abel Koontz a letter saying she’s a journalism student from his hometown and wants to meet him. She includes a picture of herself standing in front of the town sign (photoshopped in from the picture Wallace took of her). She reads her purity test and learns she apparently pleasured the swim team while jacked up on goofballs. She goes to see IT guy Renny to change her password and he gives her a lecture on security. She shuts him down by saying her old password was “GJ7b!X”. At Wallace’s place, Jeremy has broken into their house and is cooking dinner on Alicia’s stove. He says he’s tired of using a hotplate and of Alicia constantly bitching about the rent. Wallace is ready to start swinging, but Alicia figures it’s safer to give in and tells Jeremy to keep on cooking.
Wallace tells Veronica about Jeremy and she asks her dad to do his tough guy routine and scare Jeremy off. Keith says he’ll take care of it. At school, Veronica says the original version of Meg’s purity test was taken from GrindGirl Magazine, which her sister Lizzie subscribes to; in fact, Lizzie’s the only subscriber in the school. When another student (aptly named Dick Casablancas) makes a sex joke to Veronica, she wonders if he might be the one who posted her fake test. Keith goes to see Alicia, who declines his offer to help (rather rudely) and tells him to take care of his own kid and she’ll take care of hers. As he’s leaving, Keith notes Jeremy’s name on the mailbox. Meanwhile, Veronica gets a call saying Koontz will meet with her (or the journalism student she’s pretending to be) that Friday.
At school, Cole is talking shit about Meg and Lizzie defends her sister. Veronica asks about Meg and Lizzie says she was too freaked out to even come to school. Veronica goes to see her and meg says her dad found some sex-crazed letters from some goofball she met in Spain who had the hots for her and freaked. Meg asks Veronica if it bothers her that people are constantly talking shit about her. Veronica says no, you just have to get tough … and then get even. At Wallace’s place, he, his mom, and his brother come home to find the house full of gas from Jeremy leaving the stove on. Wallace runs in to turn it off and Alicia calls the cops, but he says the cops can’t do anything. Alicia has to file an eviction notice and go through the courts, which will take at least 60 days. Wallace goes to crash at Veronica’s place (though he told his mom he was staying somewhere else). Keith knows something’s up but doesn’t pry, he just takes off to go to his office. Wallace tells Veronica the people at his mom’s work have been telling her all kinds of crap about the Mars family. Veronica realizes the gossip does hurt sometimes, depending on who’s listening to it.
Keith checks on Jeremy and finds he has a criminal record, so he goes over to have a chat with him. He catches Jeremy raiding Alicia’s fridge and says he has until six in the morning to pack up all his crap and leave. Jeremy blows him off, but at six he wakes up to find Keith in his room. Keith basically threatens him and acts like a nutcase (which is Jeremy’s usual schtick), scaring the shit out of him. Jeremy packs his stuff and leaves, promising never to come near Alicia again. At school, Mac tells Veronica someone set up a dummy company to collect the money from the purity tests. Veronica tries to log in but someone’s already logged in under her student ID on a computer in the Journalism Room. She and mac go to check but nobody’s there. Veronica checks the computer and sees that whoever was logged in as her sent an email to Duncan (her ex) saying she still loves him and that he should get checked for VD.
Someone comes up on IM, apparently believing Veronica is the asshole who was on the computer right before she got there. Veronica figures the culprit must not be at school, since they wouldn’t be expecting an answer while class is on. Veronica asks the mystery person if they can get her a password and they answer “Another one?” Veronica figures out who it is instantly, since there’s only one “frog” who knows everyone’s password. That night, she goes to the local make-out spot and photographs a couple banging in a car, The next day, she confronts Kimmy with the photos of her and Renny getting it on. Since he’s 23 and Kimmy is 17, he could be in a lot of shit. Kimmy admits she posted Meg’s fake test because Meg gets everything Kimmy wants: the lead in the play, head cheerleader, the news anchor job. But Kimmy says Pam is the one who posted Veronica’s fake test because she’s jealous that Duncan is still hung up on Veronica. Kimmy really shits a brick when Veronica reveals she just videotaped Kimmy’s confession. Kimmy denies that she or Renny were the ones who set up the purity test website in the first place, saying Renny doesn’t even know about it.
Veronica gives Meg the tape and she plays it on the morning newscast, letting everyone is school know what assholes Kimmy and Pam are (and that Duncan is still hot for Veronica … yeah, she forgot to cue the tape before giving it to Meg). Outside, Veronica sees Mac has a brand new VW car and realizes she’s the only one smart enough to have set up the purity test site in the first place. But Veronica can’t help respecting her for ripping off the rich kids. Meg thanks Veronica for helping her, but says she might want to reconsider the “getting even” stuff, reminding her that she does have friends at the school whether she knows it or not. Veronica talks to Duncan about the fake email and they both profess no interest in each other … rather unconvincingly. Alicia thanks Keith for getting rid of Jeremy, even though was snotty to him before. I think these two are gonna end up banging.
Veronica goes to see Koontz in prison, still pretending to be from his hometown. He tries to trap her, but she’s done her research. She shows him the photos of Lilly’s shoes, saying it could exonerate him. Koontz isn’t stupid though … he knows who Veronica is and figures she’s there on Keith’s behalf. Koontz says he knew her mother, but Veronica takes after her father, unfortunately. She reminds him Keith is trying to save Koontz’s ass, but he says Keith isn’t her real father … Jake Kane is. Veronica knows her mom used to date Jake Kane, so she can’t help wondering if it’s true. She keeps it together until she gets to her car, then breaks down crying … maybe not just about the Jake Kane thing, but about all the shit people are constantly saying about her family. I guess it does get to her after all.