This one starts with Veronica and Logan in the Hearst cafeteria and they’re definitely back together. After Logan leaves, Weevil sits down and Veronica shows him an article in the Hearst Lampoon about their offices, a statue, and the Pi Sigma frat house all getting egged the night Dean O’Dell died. Weevil mentions the Dean’s office was egged too and wonders why nobody mentioned that in the article. At the Sheriff’s office, Keith picks up the police report on O’Dell’s supposed suicide, which is public record as long as you fill out the proper forms. Back at Hearst, Max (the dude who sold Wallace the engineering test answers a few episodes back) asks Veronica if she can help him find the woman he loves, who’s marrying someone else next week. Unfortunately, Max doesn’t know her address, phone number, who she’s marrying, or even her last name … but if Veronica can’t find her, he’s ready to kill himself over her.
Max says he and Chelsea met at ComiCon and segued from talking about Dave Gibbons and BSG to opening up their souls to each other. He says their connection was so important, they didn’t even bang. He dropped her off at the airport and she said she left her contact info back in her hotel room, but when Max got there, the room had been cleaned already, so the only thing he knows about her is that she’s from Poughkeepsie, New York. Veronica suggests maybe Chelsea was lying about leaving her info, but Max is sure she was telling the truth. He got a text from her a few days ago, saying she got tired of waiting for him to call and that she’s marrying her ex next week. Max tried calling the number, but some guy keeps answering and insisting he’s never heard of Chelsea. Max wants Veronica to find Chelsea so he can stop her wedding, since she’s only marrying her ex because Max never called. Veronica says she’ll do what she can.
Max gives her the number the text came from and she calls. The guy who answers reiterates that he doesn’t know Chelsea. Veronica asks about his area code, which he says is from Goshen, New York … less than fifty miles from Poughkeepsie. But he says he’s not in New York, he’s at college out on the West Coast … at Hearst. Veronica arranges a meeting at the restaurant where he works so she can check his phone for the text. She finds it, but before she can figure out anything more, she sees Max’s roommate (Brian, whose picture Veronica saw in Max’s room) and puts two and two together, realizing he must’ve used the phone to send the text. Veronica goes back to tell Max the good/bad news: Chelsea’s not getting married, but she is a hooker.
Apparently Brian and his pal Fred decided it was time for Max to get laid, so they hired Chelsea to “run into” him at ComiCon, even feeding her info about his love for BSG and all that. Max is pissed off, but insists there was a real connection between him and Chelsea, hooker or not. He still wants Veronica to find her, so she goes to Brian and Fred to get more info. They can’t believe Max is in love with a hooker, but they show Veronica the search engine they used to find her. Since Chelsea obviously isn’t her real name (and she’s probably changed her working name a dozen times), Veronica has to search by preference. She narrows it down to two, but their faces are blurred out and Brain and Fred aren’t sure which one is Chelsea.
At home, Keith tells her he got nothing from the police report on O’Dell’s death and Veronica mentions the Dean’s office being egged. She knows Lilith House were the ones who did the other eggings and mentions how pissed off Nish was when O’Dell fired her from the campus newspaper. Veronica also mentions that she’s burned all her bridges with the Liliths, so Keith will have to handle them on his own. She tells him she has to go to Logan’s place to meet a couple of hookers, which Keith isn’t sure whether to believe or not. At Logan’s place, Veronica quizzes Logan about whether he’s ever banged a hooker. He’s not enthused about being that open with each other, but Veronica says they should be completely honest in their relationship. Luckily, Max shows up to put an end to that awkward conversation … for the moment.
The first girl that shows up is the wrong one, but the second one is Chelsea and she’s thrilled to see Max again. Max and Chelsea (whose real name is Wendy) end up making out on the couch, oblivious to how weird that makes Veronica and Logan feel. Madison shows up and takes off when Veronica tells her Dick’s not there, tossing off a couple of snotty comments as usual. The next morning, Veronica is surprised to see Keith putting on his old police uniform, although she covers by making a stripper joke. Turns out Keith is using the cop outfit to intimidate the Liliths, so he can get information from them. Claire and Fern fall for it, getting freaked out when Keith mentions O’Dell being murdered.
They admit they egged the Dean’s office, but claim Nish wasn’t with them there. Before Keith can browbeat them into saying where she was, Nish comes out and recognizes Keith. She says she was egging the Dean’s Volvo in the parking lot, not shooting the Dean in his office. Veronica gets a call from Max, who wants her to help Wendy disappear so she can get out of the hooker life. Wendy mentions a high-profile client (a judge) and some of the kinks he’s into, which Veronica loves hearing about. Max is a little freaked out by Wendy’s casual attitude about her job, but he’s willing to pay whatever it takes for her to start over. At Logan’s place, another hooker shows up, all beat to hell, looking for Wendy. She says if Wendy doesn’t come back with her (and $1000), she’ll get her ass beat again. Wendy says her pimp is too intense, and agrees to go back. Max gives her the money, but says he’ll try to help her if he can.
Max is pretty down about Wendy and Veronica tries to cheer him up … until she finds purple makeup on a tissue and realizes Wendy’s friend was bullshitting about being beaten up. She and Wendy conned Max out of a thousand bucks, which makes Max feel stupid for thinking he and Wendy had a real connection. Veronica feels bad for Max and wants to get back at Wendy for fucking him over. She decides to blackmail the kinky judge for the $1000, which has the added bonus of taking away Wendy’s biggest client. Veronica uses Max’s phone to call the judge and tells him to put the money in a bus station locker within 24 hours or she’ll go public with his proclivities.
Later, Veronica and Logan bang and afterwards she asks the hooker question again. She says she wants real intimacy between them and if they share secrets, their relationship will be stronger. Logan finally agrees they can ask each other anything. He says he’s never been with a hooker (for the record, neither has Veronica) and she asks how Mercer got back to Neptune to rape someone, then returned to Mexico without Logan noticing. Logan says he was passed out and wonders if Mercer roofied him. Veronica asks if he was with anyone while they were broken up and Logan admits he screwed around with a girl and regrets doing it. She’s obviously bothered, but says she still loves him.
Max calls to say the judge has dropped off the money. They go to the bus station to collect it, but end up getting forced into a limo and driven out to a parking lot. Turns out Wendy’s “agent” is a woman, who’s pissed off about everything that’s been going down with Wendy falling for a client and wanting to quit. Max is happy to hear Wendy has feelings for him and offers to buy her out of her life for $10,000. Veronica figures this could all be part of the scam too, but when she and Max get back to his dorm room, Wendy’s waiting outside with all her stuff.
The next day, Weevil recognizes Wendy as a stripper, which makes things awkward for a minute, until Veronica shoos him away. At home, Keith mentions Nish egging the Dean’s Volvo, but tells her the Dean switched cars with his wife that day, so if the Volvo was in the parking lot, Mrs. O’Dell must’ve been there that night. Funny she didn’t mention it. In Max’s room, he’s getting all weird with Wendy; he’s obviously having a hard time getting past her old life, and things just get worse when Fred and Brian offer her a job as a stripper at a bachelor party. Wendy says she’s retired now and they leave, but Max is obviously bothered by it. He asks if she really left her contact info at the hotel after their first meeting and she says no, but she wishes she had.
The next day, Max stops in to pay Veronica and tells her Wendy left. This time, she did leave a note, thanking him for making her feel better about herself, but pointing out that he’ll never really be comfortable with who she was. She promised to pay him back the $10,000, which Veronica figures is bullshit until Max pulls out a big envelope full of cash. Apparently Wendy took the bachelor party gig, since she sent Max a thousand one dollar bills, which he’s now using to pay Veronica. Later, Veronica goes lingerie shopping (since Wendy said it’s the sure way to a man’s heart) and runs into Madison, who claims she and Logan hooked up in Aspen while Logan and Veronica were broken up … which really pisses Veronica off.