In Sickness and In Hell – Director: Josh Becker/Writers: Adam Armus, Nora Kay Foster
This one starts with Gabi waking up with fungus growing on her feet and Xena with her hair full of lice (although she refuses to admit it). They’re looking for Argo (in the valley where Xena first found her), since Xena left her here before heading to see the Northern Amazons. They see Argo, but she takes off and Xena figures she’s mad about being left behind. They run into Joxer, who’s promised to defend a village from raiders and naturally needs their help.
Xena and Gabi argue about Argo (and about Xena having lice) and Gabi goes
to catch a rabbit. When Joxer shows Xena a dagger dropped by one of the raiders, she realizes they’re Scythians, a vicious bunch of barbarians. Speaking of which, the Scythian leader (Acestus) sees Argo running around and orders his men to catch her. Gabi gets mauled by the rabbit, so they end up eating Joxer’s radish stew. When Gabi uses Xena’s chakram to scratch her fungus, Xena ties her hands and goes 
out to cause a rockslide to block off the Scythian reinforcements. (Xena sure does like rockslides, doesn’t she?) Gabi tries to get Joxer to untie her, but ends up puking on him. Apparently, his radish stew didn’t agree with Gabi or Xena, and they end up with stomach problems (to put it mildly). Acestus catches Argo and hopes she can be tamed to his hand, since he’d hate to destroy such a magnificent horse.
Joxer introduces Xena and Gabi to the villagers, who aren’t impressed by the lice-ridden, fungus-covered duo. Xena demands some medicine and a
bath and they’re sent to the mineral springs (where Gabi ends up with a goat shit mudpack). Xena points out that the village is sitting on a deposit of Greek Fire, which explains the Scythians’ interest. Xena and Gabi swap maladies (and cures), which makes me think they’re definitely intimate now. Xena warns Gabi that the innkeeper is probably working with the Scythians and that they should 
expect an assassin tonight. Gabi has other things to worry about: she drinks linseed root, which makes her mouth go numb. The assassin (Acestus’s brother Euryalus) shows up and (as Gabi sleeps through another fight) Xena puts the Pinch on him, but nature calls and she leaves Gabi to interrogate him. She drools all over him, which breaks his resolve, and he tells them Acestus’s plans. The Scythians attack the town and Xena is shocked to see Acestus riding Argo.
Xena and Gabi pound some of the Scythians, but Acestus breaks Euryalus
out of jail and they take off. Xena feels like crap because Argo wouldn’t respond to her during the attack. She decides to use Joxer’s culinary skills to take out the Scythian reinforcements, switching him for their cook. She and Gabi sneak into Acestus’s camp and Xena goes to see Argo, who’s still not happy with her. Xena ends up getting surrounded by Scythians.
She fights her way free and takes off, chased by Acestus on Argo. Euryalus goes to rally the rest of the army, but they’re all incapacitated by Joxer’s 
stew (in a scene reminiscent of Blazing Saddles). Acestus charges Xena, who refuses to move out of the way. Argo stops before trampling her, throwing Acestus on his ass. Euryalus shows up, but Gabi takes him down and Acestus grabs his horse, going after Argo. Xena kicks his ass again and Xena apologizes to Argo for neglecting her. Joxer gives the reward back to the villagers (after a little pressure from Xena and Gabi) and finally ends up getting sick from his own cooking. Xena and Gabi make peace, but Gabi falls asleep.
This is a pretty good episode, although it’s not quite as funny as some others (which is why it’s #78 on my all-time list), but it’s a nice break from the heavier stuff we’ve had so far this season. The main complaint many fans have with this one is that the humour is so juvenile … which is
true. But not everything has to be sophisticated, so a little lowbrow humour every now and then isn’t necessarily a bad thing. As long as you have a high tolerance for gross-out humour and broad comedy, this episode isn’t too bad. This one has kind of a Day in the Life vibe, except with a cruder tone to the humour. Lucy seems to be enjoying going overboard here, with her wild hair (which looks like she either just had crazy sex or was starring in an 80s music video … or maybe both) and her crying over Argo.
And Renee is great here, especially with the physical comedy. It’s hilarious when she’s rubbing against the table in the inn (and it almost has a stripper vibe to it) and her fight with the killer rabbit (inspired by Monty Python) is 
great. Her drooling interrogation is funny and one of my favourite moments is when she tries to whistle and a big wad of spit flies out of her mouth. As for Argo’s defection, it all seems a bit forced (especially since she seems to have been lured in by apples), but I can’t help wondering if Argo wasn’t playing everyone. Maybe she let herself get caught by the Scythians to kind of go undercover, to infiltrate their camp so she could help Xena defeat them, thereby proving her worth (teaching Xena a lesson at the same time).
Noticeable Things:
- While fighting the killer rabbit, Renee actually did cut her neck on its
teeth; you can see the scar on her neck in later scenes. - Right after her spit-filled whistle, Gabi gets her hair caught in what looks like a gorse bush. I wonder if she was trying to scratch against it?
- In a way, this could be considered one of the most romantic Xena episodes of the series. Think about it … if Xena and Gabi still want to be together after seeing each other like this, nothing can ever break them up; that’s a love for the ages.
Favourite Quotes:
- “My stomach feels like Monday morning in Tartarus.” Gabi, letting Joxer know his cooking is not appreciated.
- “I was the cook for the Royal Trojan Army. Their legendary flatulence had nothing to do with me, of course.” Joxer bragging to the Scythians about his cooking skills.
- “Thun ob a nitch!” Gabi expressing her feelings about the linseed root numbing her mouth.