Episode 3: Oh Kappa, My Kappa
This episode seems to be set right after the last one, as it starts with Bo and Dyson waking up together in Bo’s bed. Bo is a bit surprised, saying it’s the first time she hasn’t woken up next to a dead body after sex. More shocking to me is the fact that Dyson spent the night. Bo is completely healed because of the sweet sweet lovin’, but they bang again; I think this may be the first time that saying “I have a headache” is actually used as an invitation to sex. Elsewhere, a girl is running through the woods (they kinda look like the same woods from last episode, but it turns out they’re not); she stops at the edge of a huge hole in the ground, turns, and screams … and cue the opening credits.
At the crack shack, Kenzi goes into the bathroom and is surprised to find Dyson there. He asks where the toothpaste is—apparently they keep it in a footlocker—and Kenzi retreats, breaking into a “somebody got some poontang” dance out in the hall. In the kitchen, she gives Bo a knowing look; Bo says it was just for healing, and Kenzi says, “Apparently, he healed you … all night long.” Bo then finds a flyer advertising her and Kenzi as private detectives, willing to investigate anything, no matter how weird. Bo’s not happy about Kenzi keeping it from her (Kenzi: “In my defense, truth is for pussies.”) Kenzi says they need a (semi-)legitimate source of income, and manages to talk her into meeting one potential client.
The woman they meet is named Esther and her daughter Gina is missing. She says she can’t pay much, but Bo feels bad for her and says not to worry about it … she must be a big fan of the A-Team. Bo says they’ll look into it and they leave. Kenzi’s skeptical, saying she started running away when she was ten, so maybe Gina just took off someplace and doesn’t want to be found. Bo goes to see Dyson and he tells her the only major incident at Gina’s school (Locksley College) was a girl who disappeared ten years ago; she was found with all her innards sucked out. Bo and Dyson flirt a bit, then she asks for another favour.
When Bo gets home, Kenzi is on the phone (and playing with a hula hoop for some reason); she’s been checking Gina’s cell phone, data usage, and credit cards … nada, which means she’s “either dead or over forty”. Bo says Dyson got them cover IDs so they could infiltrate Locksley;
Bo’s going undercover as campus security, but Kenzi’s cover—to her horror—is a bit different. She’s going in as a sorority girl, since Gina had just joined Kappa Theta Xi. Kenzi ain’t too happy about it. We then switch to a cave where Gina is chained to the wall near a pool of glowy green water. A freaky, Gollum-looking guy pops out and comes after her, but he’s chained too and she retreats far enough that he can’t grab her.
On campus, Bo talks to the head security guy, Wayne … who’s played by John Kapelos, best known as Carl the janitor in the Breakfast Club; since Breakfast Club is one of my all-time favourite movies, I will henceforth be referring to Wayne as Carl. Anyway, he gives Bo a pep talk about working security (making it sound like they’re policing downtown Beirut, not some shithole college) but when she asks about finding the missing girl, Carl says it’s not a top priority. He says Gina probably just ran away, but they don’t want any kind of scandal at the college.
He says the main thing is to keep Dean Peretti happy. We see her nearby, kicking off some kind of fundraiser for the school. Meanwhile Kenzi is at the sorority house, meeting the “Muffies” as she calls them; to me, the head Muffy actually has a bit of a Sarah Michelle Gellar thing going on, so I’m going to refer to her as Buffy (I think the character’s name is actually Tori, but close enough). Kenzi tries to pass herself off as a legacy, but when asked about the legacy handshake, she gives them what looks like the Dap.
In the Dean’s office, Bo introduces herself and asks about looking for Gina, but the Dean says not to worry about it. She says the main thing is to make the school look good. Bo uses her sexy mojo and gives the Dean the old leg-stroke. I gotta say, it almost seemed like the Dean was flirting even before Bo turned on the charm; she sat right in front of her and crossed her legs kinda sexy-like … or is that just my imagination?
Bo kisses her neck and interrogates her (just like James Bond used to do!) and the Dean says she heard a rumour from some drunk frat-boy that Gina ran off into the woods. Things are getting pretty hot and heavy when some guy walks in, ruining the moment. The Dean was apparently getting into it, as she’s not happy (“Knock, dammit!”), and she’s ready for more, but Bo takes off, leaving her high n’not-so-dry. The Dean’s suspicious though, and phones someone, telling them to check on Bo’s background … after which, I’m sure she locked the door and took care of herself.
Kenzi is being shown around the sorority and we see the Dean was one of its founders. Kenzi gets Gina’s old bed (in a room that’s extremely … pink) and asks some questions about her, but Buffy gets all worked up about Gina taking off. Kenzi checks out the stuff Gina left behind. Out in the woods, Bo is looking for clues. For a city gal, she seems pretty good at tracking, following broken branches and stuff to the big hole in the ground. Kenzi calls her (“Good news is I’m still alive, bad news is bitches be crazy”). Kenzi tells Bo the Kappas don’t take rejection well and mentions there’s a party that night at the sorority (Bo: “please tell me there’ll be pillow fights.” Kenzi: “Gross … you perv.”) Bo tells her to be careful and not to steal any shit, and Kenzi promises she won’t … as she’s stealing her roomate’s boots.
Later, Bo finds a necklace in the woods that matches the one in Gina’s photo. Kenzi is getting her party on with the sorority girls, fuel-injecting beer like a maniac. Her blonde wig almost comes off and she says she has psoriasis. She then sneaks off to the basement, where a bunch of Kappas have been heading all night. Bo meanwhile, breaks into the Dean’s office. Kenzi finds a locked door in the basement, but she’s caught by the sorority girls. They tell her only members are allowed to know what’s behind the door, then they go back to the party. Kenzi goes to the Dean’s office. When Bo asks if she’s drunk, she says, “I’ll have you know, I’m in character.” Kenzi recognizes the Dean (in a photo) as one of the founders of Kappa Theta Xi. Carl the janitor—er, I mean, security guy—shows up to check the office and they hide behind the desk. Carl sniffs the Dean’s scarf, grossing Kenzi out. After he’s gone, Bo finds an envelope taped under the Dean’s desk. It contains a bunch of student ID numbers, but no names.
Next morning, Carl tells Bo they’re ramping up security because someone broke into the Dean’s office the previous night. After Bo leaves, the Dean says she wants to see Carl in private. Back at Bo and Kenzi’s place, Kenzi shows up, totally hung over.
Kenzi shows some respect for the Muffys’ ability to party (“I think I touched a boob.”) In between, drinks she managed to get the names to go with the student IDs. Bo has been studying plans of the college and says there are all kinds of tunnels running all over the campus … including one under the Kappa Theta Xi sorority house. Kenzi says the sorority initiation is that night and she’s obviously worried. Bo tells her to be careful.
Bo goes to see Dyson at the Dal and he tells her the Dean did a background check on her. He also tells her the names she gave him are all missing students from Locksley, but they disappeared over years and not under suspicious circumstances, so nobody noticed the pattern before. Bo tells him about the tunnels under Kappa house and the name Kappa seems to weird him out a bit. A hot new waitress flirts with him and Bo isn’t too happy about it. He tells her to check in with him and gives her some smoochy energy before she leaves. Trick gives Dyson shit for getting so close to Bo, saying he’s lost his objectivity. Trick goes on and on about not trusting Bo yet, and how he’s worried she might join the Dark Fae, but I’m not sure how much of that is genuine and how much is just him blowing smoke up Dyson’s ass. I’m pretty sure Trick knows (or strongly suspects) who Bo is, so maybe a lot of his wanting Dyson to back off is just him being protective. Dyson’s feeling a bit guilty, saying that he and Trick actually know more about Bo than she does herself. Trick isn’t buying it, and tells Dyson to end things with Bo, whatever it takes. After Trick leaves, Dyson looks something up in one of his dusty old tomes.
Back at Locksley, Bo and Kenzi make plans to check out the tunnels together, unaware te Dean is watching them. Back at the Dal, Dyson chat up Kala, the hot waitress. Out in the woods, Bo finds a partially hidden door leading into the tunnels, but can’t get in.
At Kappa house, Kenzi is involved in the initiation ceremony (which is very creepy and Masonic); Kenzi tries to avoid going into the forbidden room, but is pushed through the door and finds … a surprise party! Yeah, it’s just a party for the new sorority members; despite Kenzi asking “When does the killing start?”, it turns out they had nothing to do with Gina’s disappearance. Kenzi calls Bo to tell her that and Bo says she’s going to talk to the Dean. Before she can, she gets tased by Carl, the security dude. On the other end of the phone call, Kenzi realizes something’s wrong, so she calls Dyson (who’s already worried since Bo never checked in with him). He comes to Locksley and he and Kenzi find the Dean in her office with a knife sticking out of her neck. They head for the woods to find Bo.
But Bo’s chained up with Gina down in the cave. Carl tells her that she (and Gina) are there to feed his pet monster, the Kappa, who lives in the bilious green pool. Bo taunts him and wonders what he gets out of all of it. He drinks some of the water, saying it’s kept him from aging “since ’42” because it’s full of the “freshness” drained from the girls. Gross. He also doesn’t like privileged girls (I’m thinking some ancient Muffy must’ve rejected him) and admits he killed the Dean because she was starting to figure things out, and was even talking about sealing off the caves. He unfastens the Kappa’s chain and rings a gong (shades of King Kong!), then leaves.
Up top, Dyson sniffs out Bo’s trail, then strips down and changes into a wolf, freaking Kenzi out. Below, Bo fights the Kappa, knocking it back into the pool. She tries to free Gina. Wolf-Dyson runs into Carl and kills him. Bo fights the Kappa some more, and even tases it, but it’s too strong and starts strangling her. Dyson shows up just in time, knocking its head off with a stick so its brains (or some other type of goo) spill out all over the place. Bo wonders why Dyson is half-naked and Kenzi begs him to let her tell the story. They free Gina and leave.
At home, Bo relaxes in the bathtub. Kenzi comes in and shows her a drawing of a Kappa, the Japanese Fae that almost killed her. She says Dyson will pin everything on Carl and convince Gina he was acting alone. Kenzi is happy for Bo, since it’s obvious that she “lurves” Dyson. Bo’s kind of giddy herself, but isn’t sure what to do, so Kenzi suggests she tell Dyson how she feels. Bo goes to the Dal to do just that, but walks in on Dyson banging Kala.
Dyson tells Bo he banged her just to help her heal, nothing more. Naturally, she’s not happy about that, but it looks like Trick is … though he looks a bit troubled too. So this episode played up a couple of false trails (the Dean, the sorority) before getting to the real villain. I guess the red herrings were sort of convincing … I think the first time I watched this, I suspected the Dean was behind it, but not the sorority girls, since they seemed a bit too obvious.